Friend expecting/encouraging our children to date in the future

[Rp735]

We have one daughter who is 8. Best friends have 2 boys who are similar age. On the account of doing well in our jobs we are wealthier ( not by far) . We never discuss this among us. However, recently my friend has taken to bringing up that we will be able to leave our daughter a good inheritance unlike them. And that their sons will be better off dating/marrying someone like my daughter. She constantly mentions to my daughter how one of her sons loves her. My daughter adores the boys and we like them as friends but this seems to be in bad taste to me. It would be great if this is what the kids want in the future but her behaviour is bizarre. Aibu to think so? What should I do?

Thanks a lot for giving me some perspective and ideas for dealing with the situation.

'Wow, that's a bit creepy' tinkly laugh

Yes it's odd that she keeps bringing it up. It would be very odd if she is serious about it.

Assume you've done the laugh and ignore thing and it hasn't stopped her. Perhaps stating "that's a strange thing to say. I hope my daughter will choose who to have a relationship with". And then shutting down any further conversation on those lines.

They may just be making conversational noises though - voicing random thoughts that pop into their head that really should stay there - and not seriously be thinking or planning it.

Do you feel comfortable enough to ask her to stop? Even if she is joking, these are 8 year olds she's talking about. You wouldn't want your child growing up thinking you allowed people to talk about her in that context.

Urgh that's grim.

I agree with pp. use this as a chance to chat to your dd about her being the only person in charge (when she's an adult!) etc.

I would also say to your friend to stop saying it. Whenever she does stop her and reinforce to your dd of course she can choose to marry (or not marry) whoever she bloody likes

But it's weird. Fricking weird. I would not want my children to be exposed to this.

What's she like a friend? Is this the only weird thing? Does she mention the disparity of wealth otherwise?

I think it's bizarre too. Not sure what I'd do. Maybe just give her a funny look when she says it then ignore and change subject. Maybe talk about interesting (and lucrative) careers the boys could have and try to send her down that train of thought
(instead of her trying to marry off her son for an inheritance like something in Jane Austen or Tudor prince and princesses)

That’s so strange isn’t it! We have the opposite / we are not super wealthy, but have friends who are very very wealthy constantly saying how amazing it would be if their child married my child.