AIBU to wonder if I'm being ghosted?

[NightOwl101]

I have a DF of about 3 years, we were really close at a time and helped each other through some life changes different for both of us. We spoke a lot even though sometimes she would take a day or two to reply but we would talk about any issues in our lives and support each other.

Then things went abit quite but life is busy so one of them things but I would text to check in then 4-5 days later get a message back apologising saying they had a lot on, then nothing for a few weeks and so on. Then I got a message after about 8 weeks of nothing apologing so bad reply's asking when I was free, I replied but it was seen and ignored so another 8 weeks go by I checked in to see if everything's okay and few days later asking when I'm free for a catch up and not it's going back to ignoring my messages but active on SM.

I'm starting to think I'm being ghosted and to just leave things and not reply if I get any other messages or am I being dramatic and just accept she's busy and will reply whenever is convenient for her?

It's sad really we were really good friends but maybe it's the end of the road

I'm in a similar situation. Looking back at WhatApp messages my friend has been saying she'll suggest a date to meet for six months now. I haven't heard from her in the last four months. There was another friend where the lack of contact was due to mental health issues though.

My DF does have some issues which I have supported her with and also she still leads a busy life on SM with other friends, visiting places and job which is why I'm thinking more towards the fact I'm being ghosted

So this is classic winding down friendship mode. Longer and longer gaps between replies refusal to commit to anything .. hoping that in the end you will be the one who gives up - not ghosting exactly but achieves the same effect over a longer period of time

I’ve had something not dissimilar with a woman I met at Parkrun a few years ago. We were in the same line of work and went out for drinks/dinner a few times though I wouldn’t say we were bosom buddies. We’d exchange the odd message every couple of months and often agree to meet up.

She messaged me a few weeks ago to say hi and we arranged dinner out. It got to the actual day and she messaged to say she had covid and had to cancel. I thought ‘fine, no problem’, and she said she’d get new dates and send them the next day.

Nothing.

The same night, she posted on Facebook tagging herself and her other half in at an event in the city. I liked the post and I haven’t heard from her since. 😁

You aren’t being ghosted - that would mean the other person has completely disappeared. What is happening is that you’re on the end of a friendship being wound down by the other person.

This is a shame, but try not to take it personally. Best to take a step back and not pursue it - if she wants to reestablish contact in future, she can.

I won't persue it even though I'd be interested to know why when I thought we were good friends but I can accept it is what it is and just cut my losses now

I'm the other person in one of these situations.

My friend, has made some choices in the past year which have frankly turned me off her. They are choices which go against my own personal principles but not terrible ones. We've gone in different directions and have different drivers/situations.

Before last summer we were all day and every day lonnnnnnnnnng texters. Met up a few times a year. Saw each other through some very challenging and life changes times and events.

I really don't know what the options are other than not be proactive with the relationship via text anymore. But I know it's cowardly and horrible.

The stance others have stated rings true is that you observing the natural end of a friendship.

We don't tend to definite ends like we do with romantic partners or dalliances do we.