Do you actually care when people tell you about their family/partner etc.?

[AmITooTired]

I’m starting to think I must be horrible person, but I don’t really care when they tell me, usually pretty damn mundane stuff, about their parents, kids, partners.
Or recap what their other friend have done.

I obviously can’t ask about this IRL.

YABU = I do care / like

YANBU = I don’t really care either

Depends who it is! I’d rather talk about family (partner/kids/parents at a push) than jobs too - I find work talk really tedious unless it’s where I’ve worked or it’s something really interesting.
How’s work?
ok, you? Yeah a bit busy but fine. Let’s get our starters…
will suffice.

Great minds discuss ideas.
Average minds discuss events.
Small minds discuss people.

@jetadore I do not think that this is true. You can have a great mind and also be interested in people. Perhaps an addition - curious minds discuss all 3?

Also, you can be a total moron and discuss events and ideas!

Yes, for the most part I find it interesting hearing about different perspectives of life. Just like mumsnet - I love knowing how diverse we all. But I’m such a people watcher so that’s why.

If they're close friends with family who I know then I don't mind
Otherwise it's up there with holiday snaps, borefest.
I usually find an excuse to toddle off.

I love my mum a lot, so usually listen to her telling me about Joe from 2 doors down, ailments etc., but when she was doing her family tree on one of them websites, fuck me, it got too much and I had to tell her I wasn't interested. My husband thought I was a right cow for saying it, but honest to god, 2nd cousins who were related to a great great grandparent etc., it was boring as fuck and endless.

If I know the people they're talking about, yes.

If not its all just irrelevant

Depends how well I know them
Depends whether I have met the people concerned
Depends on whether it’s funny/relevant/appropriate or a long laundry list of details

Couldn’t disagree more with this. Anyone who is not interested in people is small minded and selfish.

No, I think it is true. There is definitely a hierarchy of topics of discussion:
gossip < “remember when…” < discussion of ideas

Perhaps an alternative/equivalent would be,
Small minds talk about celebrities
Average minds talk about history
Great minds talk about philosophy

Of course the small minded cannot appreciate this, it can only be seen looking down from the position of a great mind, which must be why I think it’s true and you don’t.

(tongue in cheek on the last part!)

Yes, I do care if you don't care you not really a genuine true friend. I also remember what ppl have told me and remember to ask them next time how things are going etc.

Yes - but it depends. My way of looking at relationships is that friendships can be on many levels and acquaintances might be the shallowest of all - but some friendships are important and meaningful - not like the relationship I have with my wife/partner. I have a friend who's partner had a psychotic episode (about 2 years ago) - and was later/recently diagnosed with catatonia after many attempts to diagnose him - his and her life has imploded and I've know her for 15 years of so and she's been a happy, positive, creative person with very few worries or anxieties about life - I see that after a while it becomes difficult for some of her friends to want to stay in the loop and in the conversation about her husband but - as her friend - I feel I should tough it out with her - I'm sure we will remain friends and that the friendship will be stronger for it - I know she's not an attention seeking drama queen - never has been - never will be but OMG - what a sh!t time she's having. So yes - some friendships are important - I have other friends who 's only satisfaction in life - is finding things to be dissatisfied about - I think it comes from having the money to be dissatisfied - they flew to Australia but said they hated the stop over in Singapore and said that they would fly direct next time - so they did - and then complained that they regretted not going first class so next time...etc - I have a lot less interest in listening to them. Another friend is having a hard time coming to term with his DD coming out and changing her name and pronouns - I'm so sad for him and wish he didn't feel so distraught about it - she's an eye-catching personality, an amazing intellect but - he finds it hard to talk about but he's my friend - it's just going to take time. I think my friendships matter to me because they are generally all with creative people and I guess we all get something important from each other - acceptance, interest and encouragement for the creative things we all do.

To a certain extent - I definitely don't want OTT details or mundane information.

Funny anecdotes, quick updates, relevant interesting info or a friend talking through an issue/looking for advice or different POV - all good.

I love hearing about people’s kids and parents. Partners- only if I like them. Some random second cousin- only if it’s a good story.

When I see people having really tedious conversations I tend to agree with that. Then I take a step back, remember each to their own, and let them crack on safe in the knowledge that however much I like good company, solitude is a lot better than bad company.

I care so far as I like to know their family and partner are safe well and doing OK. I don't really care about the details as such but within reason I'm happy to listen.

There is a lot of as in my family and I’m pretty sure I have it too so I analyse this a lot and generally used to find it sad that I don’t trust that people are asking in detail about me, I think I always had it in my head that people were just looking to steer the conversation onto them but recently I’ve started thinking that more people are lovely and are just looking to find out and-well- converse really! I’m glad I came to this conclusion as I now work in a bookshop /newsagents where a lot of lonely people seem to come for their only chat of the day (not just old people either, 50/50 mix I’d say) I think the more you talk and listen to people the less you become so selective and hence can have some fab conversations that end up making your day too!!