To ask about whether to host a party tomorrow

[Onthedowns]

So my DH tested positive for covid on Tues morning. He was feeling rough Monday eve. He is feeling better today however we have a party tomorrow evening - about 15 - 20 people in the garden.

We are unsure whether to cancel. DH is going to test again tonight and then thinking of letting people decide whether they wish to come. He's 5 days tomorrow however i am still unsure and think maybe cancelling.

Most people already know but they aren't worried as saying no one is really testing l, walking around with covid thinking it's hayfever.

I have tested negative and so have our children.

🤷🏼‍♀️ Would you cancel

I would simply tell people and leave it up to them. I'm not testing now, and have hayfever! (Really do, have done since I was a child every summer)

I would cancel. Even if people say they're not bothered and come along anyway, I doubt everyone will so surely better to delay and have everyone you want there.

Also, whilst they don't mind at the moment they might if they're unlucky and end up feeling dreadful. I felt like shit for 6 weeks.
I think you'll feel awful if your friends and family feel really poorly.

I would also cancel if I had flu/heavy cold/noro too because I don't think it's ok to spread my germs around so this isn't a Covid paranoia thing.

Also, you and others OP have talked about living with it or getting on with it.
My interpretation of living with it is acting responsibly, trying to minimise transmission where we can.
Having a party seems very selfish.

He could be positive for weeks yes, but there's a much lower chance of him actually being infectious 2 weeks from now then there is just a few days after initially testing positive.

I think at the very least you need to let everyone know - but then if some decide not to come it might be a damp squib anyway.. so postpone :).

@Onthedowns continuing on does not mean ignoring and pretending it doesn't exist. Surely it means getting used to it, adjusting and making rational, sensible decisions.

My cousin attended a birthday party 2 weeks ago, turns out the host has covid during the week. Cousin was aware and went away. Then choose to visit family 2 days later, tested positive 2 days later and now his sister and her family all have covid and sisters MIL is unable to have an operation she has been waiting on for weeks.

Your actions have consequences. Whether you want to believe it or not. Pretending they don't is just immature and selfish.

Getting back to normal shouldn't mean disregarding the health of others to suit yourself. For what it's worth if I went to a party at your house, and then found out the household had noro during the week I would be absolutely gutted. It's not just covid.

But we wouldn't deceive people if we went ahead depending on test we would tell people. We aren't hiding it. Most people already know

I'd cancel, indeed I would have cancelled and let people know on Tuesday. Or planned another date and told them.

I would cancel, people may not seem bothered but if they catch it at your party they won’t be happy. It’s a pain but people will understand, your DH might appreciate the bonus R&R in any case, even if he has recovered.

I think being upfront and letting people make their own minds up is reasonable.
I’d probably reschedule but I think going ahead and letting people know is fine.

i think the main issue we face with such things is we can test positive for days (11 in my case which I think is normal) but in all probability are only infectious for the first 3-4. But we still don’t really know this.

I understand all of that but i guess at some point we have to carry on, if he didn't know he would say he had a bad cold and no one would be none the wiser.

It is shitty to invite people in and give them a bad cold too. That's just bizarre. Tell people he's ill. Tell them what he has, and let them decide. Read the chicken pox thread.

As stated in my original post. We have already told other people and if we went ahead we would tell people regardless.

I think we will tell people tonight and let them decide we don't have lots of people travelling miles. And I have a lot of the food etc already so if we are in garden we would be reduced.

I would never hid it and never broke any covid rules during lockdown but its harder now when evidence also suggests infection is lower after 5 days

But if she's let them know the situation and they choose to come anyway, I'm not sure that's her 'knowingly putting people at risk', that's people 'knowingly choosing to take the risk' surely?

I always think it's a good idea to tell people about things like this though. Even in before times, if I'd invited people over and someone in the house had a cold, or had had D&V recently (keeping the 48 hour rule) or whatever, we'd let them know. It just seems polite.

Enjoy the party though :)

I think you should tell people & let them decide for themselves.
I would have thought other members of your household having it unknowingly or brewing would be more of a risk than your husband after 5 days.

I wouldn't cancel just let everyone know and let them decide for themselves if they feel comfortable attending.

I think this will be our approach and at least we will get rid of some of the food as well. I will be testing too to double check

Given the party is tomorrow, shouldn't you be telling them as soon as possible? Tbh you've known since Tuesday so it's weird to wait until now.

Won't people be annoyed to find out on the day, and be told it's up to them, when they could have had a few days to think about it? Seems a bit of a shitty thing to do, slightly calculated.

I told family and some other friends Tues and said we would re test tonight. Majority of people are aware already but as most people indicated they weren't worried hence i said we would make a decision today l.

No different to me feeling grotty and testing and cancelling last minute

So i tested positive earlier this evening so we have totally cancelled. DH is still faintly positive but obviously I am more likely to highly infectious

Right decision.
get we’ll soon 😃

Oh no! Sorry @Onthedowns, hope you feel better soon 💐

I have covid now, I have cancelled all my plans.
i would do the same if I had flu or anything infectious. It is simply not fair to invite people over knowing you are positive - and you are very likely to have lots of last minute cancellations.

people have holidays booked, childrens concerts, exams etc in the next few weeks. I can’t imagine you will be popular infecting all of your friends knowingly!

reschedule when you can relax and enjoy it op.

Then pass it onto others who don't get a say on public transport, at work, in the shops, concerts, etc etc