Help, how do I budget money

[kellyb85]

Hi everyone.
mum really hoping someone can help me please
me and my husband actually earn quite an ok wage but every month we seem to have nothing left. Luckily we can get by but I feel with the money we are on we should be left with quite a lot to save each month.
we were quite silly with money in our younger years and we do have quite a lot of debt to pay off but with the money we are currently on this shouldn’t be a problem (albeit it will take a couple of years!)
my issue is we are just terrible budgeting! As in I go shopping and do not think about what I am buying really, I kind of just throw things into my basket and don’t think about meals as such. I also generally have quite a lot of food waste each week as well so this is something I am really trying to not do.
i have tried to meal plan for the week but never seem to stick to it!!

my husband leaves all the money side of things to me as he is worse then me when it comes to money!!! He is the sort of person where if he had £10 and went to the shops several times buying £1ish items he is then confused as to where his £10 has gone!!!

is there any good sites or apps that can help me with budgeting correctly

i know I definitely need to meal plan

I was also paying £250 a month extra off my mortgage each month but I have decided to stop that and put that money towards any outstanding debt to pay off quicker, do you think this is a good idea?

how much would you recommend a family of 4’s (2 adults an 11 year old and a toddler) weekly food shop should be? I’m a bugger for nipping to places like home bargains for milk and spending £30 easily on things I do not need!

my children also will eat fruit 1 week so the next week I will buy a variety of fruit for them to not eat it so it goes in the bin!!! Arghhh!

please help me get better with my finances

You know the answer. You need to actually think about what you’re spending.

We just seem to fritter money away left right and Center and it’s scaring me know with all the increase living costs I really want to do better for myself and my family xx

There are loads of Apps. A quick google will be enlightening.

1. mortgage or debt- depends which is the higher interest rate surely? I’d pay debt first.

2)transfer your savings straight after pay day. Then sort all the DD/SO bills. Then split the rest of the “spending” money into weeks for the rest of the month. Withdraw it in cash, put it in envelopes and label them. One for each week. You’ll notice your spending more if it’s cash than waving a card.

You need to sit down and write down all your outgoings - budget for EVERYTHING - mine have changed over the years eg. no longer need school dinners in the budget, now need uni student top ups.

You then make a realistic monthly budget for every outgoing eg. food, petrol, going out, beauty/hair, holidays, presents, savings, insurances etc. etc. This is called the envelope system (google it) but I now do it on a spreadsheet.

The idea is if the money in the "going out" envelope is gone then you have to wait for next month for it to be topped up again.

I have been running this system for 20 years and it works for us

Get a Monzo or Starling account, put your money into separate pots, so you know how much of your budget you have left each month.

Here is a good web page which explains it - not sure why this Dave guy has claimed it as his as it's a system as old as time
www.ramseysolutions.com/budgeting/envelope-system-explained

Get a note book and write down every single penny you spend and what you spent it on - even why if you like.

do this for a week

then tot up your spend and put into categories

next open a second bank account with your current account where all your direct debits are paid from . Work out the amounts of all your direct debits and standing orders and debt. Divide by twelve so you’ve got a figure for all your bills

then leave that amount in your account and set up a standing order to a savings account for 40% if what’s left

out the 60% into the new account - this is your spending money for shopping, food, petrol

this needs to last four and a half weeks, but you have put 40% aside jyst in case, so if you really need to transfer some funds during the month

by taking away the 40% you act then as if you don’t have as much money and it concentrates the mind 😊 but you have a safety net and it helps you spend less

There is an app I use call YNAB. It has tutorials etc to show you everything you need to do. It's made a huge difference to our budgeting and I've used it for years now.

However all the tools in the world will not work if your not disciplined. It's your attitude to the money you need to change.

Meal planning could save you a lot and it sounds like you know how to do it but nothing will work if you don't stick to it.

I'm not judging, I was exactly the same. Budgeting seemed like such a hassle and restrictive but then my perspective changed and for me what is restrictive is having no savings to do the things in life i want to to.

It really is a cause of 'look after the penny's' as if you start focusing on saving money here and there that snowballs into bigger savings and suddenly wasting money seems ridiculous. After all your the one who has to work your ass of for it it so you might as well spend it on the things you want to spend it on rather than wasting it

If you're just nipping for milk take a couple of quid and leave your card at home.
Don't pander to the kids, ask them what they'd like, if they don't eat it they get nothing the next time you shop. They're fussy because you allow them to be. Make smoothies with the left over fruit.
Put a name on your savings account, call it holiday to Greece or whatever and watch your savings grow towards a specific goal.
Shop online or scan as you shop so you can keep track of what you're spending so it's not a shock at the till

This is exactly what we do with Starling. Salary goes in, money automatically goes into pots, direct debits are paid directly from pots, things like petrol we withdraw what we need from the pot as we spend it, what is left in the main account is there to be spent. This stops us overspending and panicking at the end of the month
We also transfer some money each month to Monzo and use their pots (not called pots but can't remember) to save each month towards things like car service.
Sounds like meal planning is your first step

Wow such good information already.

im definitely going to go and buy a cheap notepad to keep in my handbag and take notes of every last penny I spend - I think I will be very shocked by how much money I waste on junk. The new me starts today!!!

yes I really need to change my mindset on meal planning. A friend of mine has just started doing this and he says he has saved an absolute fortune as he will write down exactly what he needs as in 2 carrots for the week so he won’t buy a big bag and waste the rest - the kids are definitely becoming fussier and yes I hold myself fully responsible for this 🙈 they will have a shock when they get what they’re given and that is it.

the money me and my husband are on we should easily be able to afford a holiday once a year atleast but here we are skint and it’s payday next week!!

thank you everyone for your help so far 😁

Your post is annoying to read because you know what the problem is and you are already so annoyed at yourself so the annoyance just pours out!
I'd recommend a look at Dave Ramsey on YouTube, his rants might strike a chord and his Baby Steps will help you focus.
Also what PPs said about Monzo or similar and pots is good advice. We have a joint account for food/petrol etc so we can see exactly what's being spent and have set up money to come out of that weeky into a sinking fund for annual big expenses like insurance and car service etc.
I also pay myself and the kids our savings as soon as wage come in, leave enough to cover the bills plus a bit more and then I know what I have to play with that month and can spend it or stick it in as extra savings at the end of the month if not. But savings first. If you spend money on stuff for the bin you are literally stealing from your future self.

What does everyone spend on food shopping for a family of 4 please, I don’t really have a figure on what we spend as like I say I’ll spend a set amount when I do an actual shop but then pop into the shops regularly and spend x amount when not needed

re. fruit - buy apples (can go in fridge), bananas (save brown ones for banana bread or smoothies - can go in freezer, things that keep longer. Frozen berries are good! last ages.

Yes I am incredibly annoyed with myself! My debt from years ago is really hard lump to swallow as those payments are incredibly high each month! We definitely lived well beyond our means and we are nowhere near as bad now BUT we are still bad.

these different accounts for different things seem like a good idea. I am looking into a sterling account now so fingers crossed 🤞

We're a family of 6 (4 kids aged between 12 and 4)
I generally spend £150 a week on a big shop then £10 a week topping up
Meal planning is boring as anything but it's vital if you want to save money. I have also started going to a local shop to top up milk etc as when I go back to the huge Tesco I end up spending loads
I was spending £150 a week on a big shop then another £50 on silly top up shops.
I also try to only do 4 big shops a month then do a little shop if its a longer month just to get to the end of the month
It honestly is all the silly little spends that add up

I think if my DH was an overspender I would suggest you list the bills, including likely increases, and put that in an untouchable bills account, with standing orders /DDs going out from it. Include a budget for breakages. Use another account for savings and holidays, a third for food. Then split the rest.

Get groceries delivered. You save a fortune as you can take time to look at what's in your basket, what you really need, shop for promotions, shop for cheap basics. The price is there at the bottom and you aren't tempted to put extra into the basket as you aren't physically shopping.

Saves on fuel and time. I can see what in my fridge as I add ingredients to make up a meal.
I do a delivery saver option and have a shopping delivery every 5 days. Shopping has to be £40 or more so for me it works out about right.

After covid I went back physically into store to shop and my bill doubled as I keep seeing things I fancy. So I renewed my delivery saver option

It works out to £1.30 a delivery for me. I can't even drive to the store and back in petrol for that.

We're a family of four and it obviously does fluctuate between £40-120, but our average is probably about £70 a week, we eat healthily and only buy alcohol about once a month, I meal plan and never waste a single bit of food. We don't buy junk food or ready meals.
Obviously the shop is higher when we have to buy washing tablets etc... I get one shop a week and don't usually need to top up with anything.

£60 in Aldi is plenty for a family of four.

We are in the same boat as you op. Thankfully the wise mumsneters are great with life tips.

I switched from Tesco to Aldi and we are saving but I don't find the food stays fresh for as long so that's under review. Plus Aldi is a fair drive for us where Tesco delivers.

I started on payday putting our savings/holiday money etc away into pots in Hyperjar. I have a fair bit put away already in only a few months.

We completely stopped top up shops and get everything in the one main shop. Saves time, desil and extra money.

We pushed our weekly shop back by a few days and just use up the leftovers. This decreases the amount of shops done.

We got an outside tap fitted so we can now clean our cars ourselves.

We have put a car up for sale, downsizing to one car.

We have started composting for environmental reasons and to save money.

We are also growing our own veg.

We have completely switched off our heating until winter.

Drying clothes outside

Cut out all subscriptions like magazines, tv channels that we hardly use.

Phoned all my direct debts and cancelled the ones we don't need and reduced the others.

Cleaning products cut to 3 items

Sold stuff on ebay/vinted

I sat and went through our outgoings and income on our bank statements and then seen what was unnecessary. Then wrote budgets.

Stopped shopping for the sake of it and pushed hair appointments further apart.

Bought pamper stuff to do it myself at home rather than a salon.

Hope this helps op, basically I have tried to reduce everything I can and have changed my thinking to it's my money to keep rather than give it to a company.

I still have changes I want to make.

We split the food shop between Aldi and Ocado and usually spend around £100 a week for 4 of us, but I know we could cut that back if we had to.

Meal planning is crucial to making it work tbh. In the past when money has been tighter I’ve meal planned for 4 weeks at a time but now just do it weekly.

Genuinely the hardest part about any budgeting system is sticking to it. But it’s like anything I suppose, it’s a habit you need to build and then once you’re used to it it’s second nature. Everyone’s different so what works for one couple/family might not work for you. We’ve always had a joint account that both wages go into and bills/food/household costs go out from, but then have savings accounts for “big” spends like insurance, Christmas, holidays, and we each have a separate account that we get spending money paid into to use as we see fit.

It’s funny, I’m completely the other way - I find that I end up getting the same stuff delivered each week whether it’s needed or not!

You need to stop being so blasé about food waste!
Why does your kids not eating the fruit lead to it being binned? Even without the options of telling them to eat it, making a smoothie, freezing it, baking with it… you and your husband should be looking and if it’s about to turn - you eat it!

definitely going to go and buy a cheap notepad to keep in my handbag and take notes of every last penny I spend - I think I will be very shocked by how much money I waste on junk. The new me starts today!!!

you will be shocked but at least then it’ll be in black on white where you are spending and then can adjust or swap to reduce spending.

I bought a coffee machine which ultimately reduced my Starbucks bill without going without nice coffee

but a tub of icecream and selection of lollies to save on ice creams out

walk every trip under one mile to reduce petrol/fuel bill - driving a mile uses proportionally more fuel than driving 30 miles as starting the car uses mass if fuel

shopping I believe is £50 per head for one person, £40 per head for two £35 per head for 3/4. So if there are 4 of you it’s £140 approximately for a comfortable shop. You can though reduce this some weeks by being savvy