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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's so difficult to meet someone?

10 replies

overthinkersanonnymus · 23/06/2022 20:00

Why is it so difficult for single people to meet someone?

My lovely sister owns her own home, drives a paid for car, no children and is a right laugh but she's really lonely!

Where do people meet people these days? She's done the on line dating thing for a while and it was a disaster. When you're at work all day the only option seems to be out on the town but it's full of dicks heads 🙄

OP posts:
Kite22 · 23/06/2022 23:38

Outside of work, what does she do ?
What hobbies, volunteering, sports, etc?

You meet people through doing things you enjoy.
Then through knowing lots of people you also get invited to their gathering and meet more people.

So far as you have indicated in your OP, she only goes to work and goes home. Well, other than colleagues, that isn't a lot of people to be mingling with.

BiscoffSundae · 23/06/2022 23:50

Lots of people seem to find it easy! Mostly everyone I know is coupled up

BurnishedSteel · 23/06/2022 23:52

Met DP online (Tinder) 6 years ago. Now married with one DD. I had two other dates from Tinder before DP, both really nice people but no romantic spark.

Most people I know either met at work or online.

HundredMilesAnHour · 23/06/2022 23:59

As you get older, it's hard to meet other singles. You can have a busy life but 99.9% of the people you meet are already in relationships.

N1C · 24/06/2022 00:13

Met my husband of 3 years on Tinder. Sorry to hear online dating was a disaster? Perhaps she could give it another try and take it easy. Online dating has changed the scene in recent times and I'm sure it's contributed to making it more difficult to meet new people offline.

BobGalaxy · 24/06/2022 23:09

Supposedly, people are moving away from apps now and joining 'singles clubs' (according to this article anyway!) https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jun/11/the-demise-of-the-dating-app-why-singles-are-swapping-online-matching-for-real-life-meetings?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other

Whatwouldscullydo · 24/06/2022 23:27

I tried a free dating app it was shit..pinged all day but u can't see or do anything without paying for the ability to access the info.

I have joined a spin class there's no one my age there

There's no one at work either neither staff or customers.

I dont wanna get married ir anything but a companion would be nice occasionally

No idea how anyone does it

Bagoshite · 24/06/2022 23:46

It's very difficult and mostly luck.

Friends couldn't introduce me to anyone they knew, because the single men in their circle were usually single for good reason and completely unsuitable/ had major issues.

Once you're past your 20s you can't get involved in workplace relationships, it's completely unprofessional (a blind eye gets turned when you're younger/ in a junior role but there's definitely a cut off). Plus lots of women work in female heavy environments so no opportunities there.

Hobbies...a friend of mine went to dance classes. It was all couples, ditto local 'social' groups. She ended up feeling ostracised as the only singleton. I used to go to parkruns to try and make new friends (was in a relationship by then), went every week for 4 months and never managed to get beyond a hello, most people just turned their backs and chatted in their established groups. And that was just to try and find friends!

I met my (ex) partner online almost a decade ago, and that was complete chance, after years of experiences that were anything from disappointing to upsetting and dangerous. My MH and self esteem were permanently damaged by all the gameplaying, ghosting, lying and duplicity. It's such a toxic setup.

I split with ex recently and on view of the above expect I'll now live the rest of my life single. I think once you've missed the early ops of uni/ initial work, it's very difficult to meet anyone worthwhile.

Never were the lyrics to Eleanor Rigby so apposite... 'all the lonely people...'

ElEmEnOhPee · 24/06/2022 23:53

Actually wondering if this is my sister posting about me 🙈

Fuzzyhippo · 25/06/2022 12:47

I've been in a relationship for 7 years, although not a "committed" one and we don't live together. But I feel if it ends (likely to be soon), I will struggle to form another relationship as I have problems which puts men off. For example, they don't want someone who still lives at home and never worked so I'm pretty screwed. I also struggle to form friendships, I've never had a casual friend or a close one. My mum has never been in a committed relationship either, mainly because she's got a history of severe abusive relationships, so just history repeating itself I feel

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