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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Current YR 6 children going into YR 7

126 replies

yourmumsnet · 23/06/2022 14:06

Is there anything we should be doing from now until September that I may not have thought of?

Uniform order and practice journey there and back.
Encourage enjoyment and cherishing last month of secondary school.
Slowly allowing more independence.

Anything else? I feel like this is quite a big transition and I'm anticipating lot of growth from seeming like a child to admire teenage like over the summer.

I want to allow that growth but whilst keeping good boundaries and not allowing to do too much and selfishly, maintaining family things rather than the focus shift all on friendship groups.

OP posts:
Feetache · 26/06/2022 23:31

yourmumsnet · 23/06/2022 14:42

There is a holiday club run at the school over the summer which I think is a great opportunity to meet people and then have some familiar faces at the start of term, but they're really not interested in going and I don't want to force it. Even though I do think it would be beneficial.

If it's for current Yr6 I'd be tempted to make them try a day or two. At ours 50% of the new Yr7 went. Loved it

Feetache · 26/06/2022 23:36

lugeforlife · 24/06/2022 07:10

Mine are just finishing yr 7 now.

This one is horrid but depending on your child, sometimes some gentle guidance on stuff like backpacks and pencil cases is helpful. Dd2 can be a little young for her age so I steered her towards plain stuff in black/blue rather than anything too 'young'. I felt a bit shit doing it tbh but she doesn't always find friends easy and it was a way to make her not stand out in a bad way.

Everything is black. Coats/bags the lot. Dd1 has extended this to her knickers so no more sloth prints :(

Get the apps etc all on your phone so you can monitor homework without getting over involved. Mine found it a real transition and need a bit of a push sometimes but I tend to leave quality to them - if they fuck it up or can't be arsed, their issue. Obviously I help if they ask but less collaborative than primary.

As pp said, agree protocol for going to/from school, after school clubs, stopping at the park etc. mine can go but we need a text for example.

Let them be your tiny cuddle monkeys when they get home! Dd1 is quite a cool kid at school and I've found that sometimes she still just wants a cuddle of the sofa with mummy. I think sometimes they need to feel safe and looked after. She does sometimes tell me it's all a bit grown up and overwhelming so I listen and coach but don't fix.

Oh and never ever try and keep up with yr 7 girl friendship issues. Check phones etc and check in to make sure no bullying of course but jeez it changes on an hourly basis! No idea if boys are the same as I have girls.

This. Everything I'd say. Let them be free to find the new version of them

Feetache · 26/06/2022 23:37

Summersdreaming · 24/06/2022 08:01

  • stay off the year group/school what's app groups, they are toxic
  • drill into them that anything posted on tiktok, snapchat etc will be screenshot and is out there forever
  • for the first term, keep your head down and mouth shut as much as possible around the 'loud' or older students, don't be a target. Wear the popular shoes/bag (I'm only talking about the first few months).

I think the social adjustment is huge, from being the oldest and mixing with 4 year olds to sharing the corridors with 16 year olds. It can be brutal. Keep an eye out for bullying especially in the first few weeks.

That all sounds negative but dd has had a brilliant first year, the main issues arise on social media/group chats and older kids pushing/shoving in the corridors, but she is learning to leave conversations and not get involved in every drama.

More great advice seconded by me

Feetache · 26/06/2022 23:44

My advice is to read all this advice.
Allow them more independence and tell them you expect them to help more. Watch them as baby birds flying the primary nest. When they start don't interfere. Be there for them but let them find their way. By the end of Yr7 you'll look at them as new people and won't be able to imagine them in primary school.

Hunderland · 27/06/2022 01:11

Two more very practical bits of advice for those who don't know already:

  1. Learn how to tie a tie
  2. Learn how to tie shoelaces.
Fizbosshoes · 27/06/2022 07:04

Learn how to tie a tie

DS is nearly at the end of year 7, and I'm not convinced he can reliably do this!Blush
He (or I) did his tie on day one and he generally loosens it and takes it off lasso style over his head. Puts on next day and tightens. Same with PE or sports clubs! A couple of times during the year I've suggested he does it again because it doesn't look great after months of this method but it was quite a trauma for him to do again!

Feetache · 27/06/2022 07:35

Our school only has clip on ties. All ages. But buy two. Expect to loose plenty of things.

dostuff · 27/06/2022 07:56

Is anyone planning anything nice to do with their current year 6 friends at the end of term or over the summer?

SpringCalling · 27/06/2022 08:50

so following as have a Year 6! @dostuff all kids and parents have been invited to a party on the last day of term by an amazing parent. i am also expecting multiple sleepover requests over the summer now they have their own phones in prep for September and are able to plan!

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 27/06/2022 12:19

han01uk · 23/06/2022 15:12

Having a child in year 8 now I was flabbergasted by how many children asked about sexuality over, say, what is your name?! It seems really odd. But it seems to be the thing to have to label your sexuality, so perhaps some conversations around that.

Also the swearing 😵‍💫 my daughter has heard some horrible things and I wasn't prepared for having to explain some of it to her.

Aside from those I think planning the journey, uniform, doing all the usual preparation etc you have covered.

The same. My daughter (11) was told by another boy in her year group that he wouldn’t even bother to rape her. We hadn’t explained rape to her so she was then publicly humiliated when she asked him what he meant. Horrible child but it has taught us a lesson that shielding your child from sexually abusive terms needs to end with primary school.
And yes, we have dealt with it with the schools support.

TeenPlusCat · 27/06/2022 12:29

Make sure they know about Father Christmas.

ThatPosterIsSoRight · 27/06/2022 12:30

Ask your child what they would do if x, y, z or something like that happens in the way to/from school. Then discuss!

A year 7 child was knocked down by a car (crossing the road as her friends called to her), and her friends panicked and ran away! If they’re old enough to walk on their own, they should be responsible enough to know what to do in an emergency.

The bullying is a big step change from primary (I hear about it from friends at a range of schools) so what to do/ who to report to if you see it/ how to support your friends etc.

What to do if they lose their PE kit/ phone/ blazer etc.

Social media what is and isn’t acceptable, and check their phones very often.

wwydwwyd · 27/06/2022 12:32

TeenPlusCat · 27/06/2022 12:29

Make sure they know about Father Christmas.

Really?

wwydwwyd · 27/06/2022 12:32

What you just say oh no not real it was us all along?

confusedofengland · 27/06/2022 12:37

I have not yet read the full thread but will do.

DS2 is in this boat. But he has SEN (autism & ADHD) so thinking things will be even trickier for him 😬 He has an EHCP in place & the senior school SENCO was present at his latest review in primary & he has also attended a SEN afternoon at seniors, with about 15 other children. Plus 2 whole induction days. Also he is attending 3/5 days summer camp there 2 weeks before term starts.

We do already have DS1 at the school in Year 8, but this feels totally different. DS1 excels in academics & sport & has many friends. This is not true if DS2. Also transition for DS1 was non-existent thanks to Covid.

I look forward to reading more later.

Good luck to everyone!

Isolatedandfrustrated · 27/06/2022 12:57

Great thread. My son starts in september. I have been giving him more independence over the past year. He's pretty streetwise and goes out on his bike with a friend etc. He also goes to the shop and handles money so I've no worries there.
I do have worries around organisation. He has adhd and loses things all the time. I currently sort and check all of his school stuff. I've explained to him what it will be like regarding timetables, homework, etc but I don't think he fully grasps how different it will be. Plus he absolutely hates doing homework, and only has it once a week currently. He sees school and home as two completely seperate things. He usually goes straight out to play as soon as he finishes school. I anticipate a lot of battles with him over homework and I think he will forget to take a lot of things into school. I will try to help him as much as I can at first. Also worrying about bullying etc

Dixiechickonhols · 27/06/2022 12:58

The road safety thing is a big thing. Children can’t accurately judge car speed until 10/11 and covid may have reduced opportunities for them to be out alone getting experience crossing roads. A girl I know was hit by a bus near school distracted with her friends (thankfully ok)

Dixiechickonhols · 27/06/2022 13:06

I’d also say don’t spend too much on a school bag before they start they are very school specific. One local school all the girls have swapped to handbag style by October whereas other school a mile away all still use backpacks.

TeenPlusCat · 27/06/2022 13:35

@Isolatedandfrustrated It might be worth asking if your school does a homework club at either lunch or after school.

11Hawkins · 27/06/2022 14:22

Great thread.

My son is starting year 7 in a specialist school so don't need to worry about travel as he'll be picked up by taxi and dropped off.
I am a bit worried about bloody shoe laces though! He can't do them will a specialist school help him or expect him to be able to do them? 🙈 of all things... it's shoe laces ffs!

Dixiechickonhols · 27/06/2022 14:26

11Hawkins if it’s a school for pupils with additional needs I’m sure they will. Or are Velcro or slip on an option?

Dixiechickonhols · 27/06/2022 14:32

If they are buying lunch at school make clear spend limits I know some yr 7 burnt through cash - toasties at break, drinks, lunch and dessert.

11Hawkins · 27/06/2022 14:34

Dixiechickonhols · 27/06/2022 14:26

11Hawkins if it’s a school for pupils with additional needs I’m sure they will. Or are Velcro or slip on an option?

I could get him rubber laces 🤔 that's a good point. Thank you. Think I'd like to have a back up just incase.

MermaidSwimmer · 27/06/2022 14:45

@11Hawkins i use triathlon style elastic laces in my trainer shoes all the time just pull them on / off. My DD had these in year 5, but went to some pull on black skechers this year as she finds laces very fiddly (ASD)

whathobby · 27/06/2022 14:53

What is the Father Christmas line that people use please?