to think appealing for "stuff" on a FB page in this way is a bit... off?

[Stroopwaffels]

We have a local community facebook page which has all the usual stuff about parking, lost bank cards and missing dogs.

This morning a post has popped up looking for "business to offer a gift to a beautiful young X-Town girl who rings the bell on her cancer treatment today" then goes on about how this girl (age not specified) has been through the mill with chemo and treatment and how "anyone would agree" that the whole family "deserves" some treats from local businesses and appealing for the group to "show community spirit".

It just seems a bit off. X pizza place bungs them a pizza, what a marvellous company showing community spirit! The takeaway down the road doesn't, so they're what - not community spirited because they won't give freebies?

It reminds me of the clap for carers - if you don't choose to clap, then you are quite clearly wishing harm on all NHS staff.

No idea who the poster of the original message is btw, and what connection (if any) she has to the family concerned.

I agree, we saw a lot of it on local Facebook groups around the start of the Ukraine war... lots of people asking for donations and collecting for a friend of a friend who was planning to house someone from Ukraine.

I think most of the time people do it to virtue signal what a wonderful person they are as opposed to wanting to help if I'm honest.

I also saw one the other day where a couple were crowdfunding for their IVF treatment. I speak with experience as someone with 9 cycles under her belt... I know it's a ghastly and expensive time but to plead for money /items that could be sold for ££ towards your IVF given the state of the world at the moment feels odd.

It's not even a "this is a particularly needy family". There are regular postings from the local foodbank with lists of what they need and people respond.

This is just "this family have had a shit time. Give them stuff". And having a child with cancer IS undeniably shit that's not up for debate. But it's kind of like those chuggers who stand in the street saying "do you want to help children with cancer" knowing fine well that everyone wants to help children with cancer.

I'm not a local business which would have any "stuff" they would find helpful though.

Weirdly the exact same post appeared on my local Facebook page a few days ago.

I have no problem with people asking for stuff or favours etc, what I have a problem with is people expecting them.

So if they ask for free stuff and only a couple of businesses offer, then the other ones shouldn't be villainised. The asker/family also should never throw their toys out the pram if they don't get enough/what they want/x from a certain place etc. Anything is a nice gesture so they need to be grateful.

Where I work we always get asked (weekly almost) for charitable donations for nearly every different charity out there. Obviously we can't give to all of them so as a blanket rule we don't give to any who ask, we have our own charity nominations from employees. They annoying thing is when we politely say no to people, sometimes they then complain or try and emotionally blackmail or slate us publicly online.

Totally cringy. When I was going through chemo some friends of DH and their partners (who I know) wanted to pay for a weekend away for us. I was mortified. DH thanked them for the kind thought and said no.

Modern society is full to the brim of absolute begs.

I've noticed people asking for free stuff on Nextdoor.co.uk - things for gardening or babies. I thonk it's a bit of a cheek.

I don't mind people asking 'Does anyone have x, y z I can borrow or buy?'

That one reads like a scam. It's everywhere, which makes me think it's not legit and needs reporting.

No not unreasonable at all to think this.

I am on a facebook forum / page for a campsite we are going to in italy
May i add its classed as one of the top campsites in europe so not cheap atall !. Omg people going next week asking for food that people are leaving behind or water floats. Talk about begging. Will pass them on too when they leave etc etc? I think its incredibly cheeky as is that request from the poor childs " friend"

I'm on 2 fb groups for 2 different towns (home town and current town 10 miles apart) and exactly the same funding request word for word has appeared on both pages in the last 2 weeks- but using different patient name and different account posting. What are the odds? 🤔
Have reported both to fb

Our most recent ones have been from a relative of a local family with an adult special needs child with mobility issues.

Asking for anyone to donate or give them a gazebo for said adult dc to be able to sit out in the garden.

So in normal circumstances it would be fine however the adult child resides at the family home three days a week and the rest at respite and the parents (one works one doesn't although could) both smoke and regularly share pics of their take always or pub Sunday lunches

Mmmm

They also requested a washing line recently as their tumble dryer broke down and could afford even a second hand one

Someone commented with a link to an Argos sale with outdoor washing lines for £15.

That shut them up

People are so cheeky.

On our local fb a woman posted that her sister had given birth early and did anyone have any baby equipment/clothes to give them. Wtf.

There is a charity that helps arrange short notice weddings for people in hospice and end of life situations. Thats fabulous and amazing BUT one of my friends shares them regularly and tags specific companies owned by people she knows in case they want to help

Gets right on my tits, it's their BUSINESS, small businesses can't just give stuff away - why doesn't she (friend) offer to pay for a service (rich) - I am going to nicely comment that next time

Who wants to be the bellend posting raised eyebrow emojis on the community FB page, or reporting it to "admin" who are just other members of the community?

And also agree that small businesses are struggling enormously at the moment. Many never recovered after the pandemic.

I'm on the fence.

Some people are grabby some are grateful.

I'm of the mindset without this service people would go hungry or dress like a homeless person.

People are very kind passing on items that will help another person.

I don’t ask as I don't need to but I gladly pass on a bag of clothes to someone who is without.

So the full post - with personal details redacted is :

"Looking for any generous XXX business to offer a gift to a beautiful young XXX girl who rings the l on her leukemia treatment today 🔔❤️‍🩹. XXX has had a long, arduous journey since the very beginning of lockdown and her Mum, with the support of Dad, has raised an amazing amount of money for XX Hospital in thanks for their amazing treatment and care of her daughter and to ensure services are available for any other children who may have to go through similar treatment. XXX has kept her beautiful smile throughout 40 IV chemos, 20 lumbar punctures and 5 bone marrow within that time, what an incredible young lady! I'm sure anyone would agree she and the family (brother and sister too) deserve some treats to celebrate this monumental occassion. Pm me for delivery details or I am happy to collect and deliver to their home. Thank you in advance for anybody in the community happy to get on board and show what community spirit is really about"

Have taken the advice upthread and reported to Facebook.

Admins are likely to have seen scams and be quite scam aware. They won't take offence at you questioning it.
I'm one, we see all sorts, and if one slips past me I'm grateful when group members alert me.

It's one of the reasons I came of farce book to be honest, every other post was a go fund me, sponsor or raising money for a charity for their birthday. I was barely surviving myself on UC and got the guilt when everyone else was donating except me.
Charity, should not be coerced or guilt tripped. If you want to give your time or money to a cause, do it because it means something to you.
Don't try to force it on everyone else.

When my eldest was a baby I put some of his clothes on fb to get some money towards the next size up. One item was a pair of pyjamas id listed for £1. A lady tagged her bf and asked if they could afford them.

of course when he came to collect I told him to take them for free, and were they struggling for other baby things? He said yes and I told him to come back the next day. Loaded him up with baby bath, new sponges, baby toiletries, clothes. I kept thinking about them for a few days, I was on a very tight budget but I felt awful for them. I've had to rummage around for change for bread myself recently but then I was really sad for them that £1 could affect their budget so much.

She added me on Facebook and said Thank you and I was pleased this tiny gesture had helped them.
Two days later she posted a picture of her boyfriends new tattoo and she was back on the selling page buying PlayStation games! I'm still glad I did it but I was a bit wtf?

I've seen this a few times on our local Facebook recently. We are a small town and usually know most family names etc but don't recognise the ones posting for donations.

There are huge delivery times on lots of big items like puschairs etc at the moment.

It's more than possible they have genuinely been caught out by an early baby and presuming that everything is available at a reasonable price at the click of a button - thats increasingly not the case post brexit/covid

I'm an admin on a few FB groups, and I have the settings so that all posts have to be approved by myself or another admin.
We don't allow charity or any other type of beg.
You would be surprised at how many we get.
Perhaps the admins if your group should do the same.

I see lots of ppl on social media saying they have moved into a new home or been offered a flat and has anyone got anything they can have.