To have nothing to say

[Curlywurlybar]

I am currently on mat leave with 12week old DS2 and have 22month old DS1 at home too.

I’ve come to the realisation that I have absolutely no conversation with adults anymore…it’s not that I don’t see other adults day to day, I just have nothing to say when I do.

We visit my mum a couple of days a week and talk about the DCs but I have nothing to offer in terms of other conversation

My brother popped round got a coffee yesterday and we sat in silence for a long period of time, same with SIL

Even with DH once we’ve chatted about the boys, dinner, shopping etc there’s no conversation…we’re watching more tv than we used to just for something to fill the evenings/ give us something to talk about

we go to playgroups a couple of times a week but I end up just sitting there listening to the other mums convos and having no input… I just feel like I’ve got nothing to say!

DS2 and I are meeting a couple of (child less) friends on the weekend and I feel like cancelling as I’ll just be sat there smiling with nothing to contribute to the conversation

I can chat all day long with toddler DS1.. he’s forward with his speech and everybody says oh he takes after his mum, you used to be a right chatterbox!

Will the conversation skill return? Or will I be sat like an idiot listening to other people for the rest of my life?

I am sure your skills will return.
What works for me is to be really interested in other people's hobbies, travel, plans etc. Or 'what would you 6if you won the lottery? How much money would be enough?
Or family history.

I find that listening to the radio gives me lots of topics but steer away from politics!

Aw I came back to.post on this, even though I don't have kids so dont know it's a thing related to nature. Dont feel bad! I too have very little to say, and I'm going through peri, just want to sit and stare. You're alright just as you are. You're probably all tired out by the small people you made and care for x

I have found that a useful skill in starting conversations is to learn to ask questions, be interested, listen - really actively listening, not just waiting for the next opportunity to speak.

This is a professional example, but it does work in personal situations, too: if I'm meeting a new hire or client (or somebody at a party or similar), rather than say 'what do you do?', I ask 'what do you like to do?'.

This is a much more open question and it also prompts whoever you're speaking to to think about their answer, rather than just 'I'm a teacher' etc, which is quite a closed answer.

It will often get people talking about their passion (which most people really enjoy doing, given half a chance), so it takes the pressure off you a bit.

Think about what they like to chat about, I've got friends who like to chat politics, so the strikes/cost of living etc would be something I'd get a bit of background on (in your position). Other friends like to talk about their work/family and we both like the environment/gardening. I felt like you after being in hospital/seriously ill for a long time. It doesn't matter if you mostly listen, you'll build up over time. Think ahead in terms of your DB and SIL. You are very b

You are very busy, physically and emotionally so this is understandable, but will change once your babies are a bit less demanding, or you can get out a bit without them.

I know exactly what you mean!! When my children were babies and I was at home all day I could never find anything remotely interesting to say . I was bored and I was boring !!
It definitely does improve once you get back into the workplace and start interacting with adults again!!

something2say is the not wanting to chat a peri thing? I absolutely can not be bothered to speak to anyone, I do try, I'm not rude but it's such an effort. I met my mum yesterday, my lovely mum and I just had nothing to contribute. I tried but it felt like such hard work.

Sorry to hijack your thread OP! I think you're experiencing something different to me, just that your world at the moment has shrunk but it'll open up again. I spent most of my time with other mums when DC was little and all we talked about was the kids.

Ohhh I remember this phase.

As much as anything, conversation is a habit based skill.

You're out of the habit of conversing with adults.

Tell your mum, and ask for her help. Just get her to pick an inane topic and chat about it.

Listen to podcasts/the radio at every opportunity to keep up to date.

It will come back. Your brain is just exhausted.