To think I should explain DS disabilities?

[11Hawkins]

Hear me out please.

My DS6 made friends with a new boy at school, they are very close.
The other day DS11 came out of school and knocked the new boy over by accident (he gets excited and runs full pelt at me every time without fail) this time I ducked and he knocked the new boy over. DS11 stood there and was completely shocked what happened and everyone could tell by his face he didn't mean to do it.
I apologised as did DS11 to the new boy and his parents and punished DS11 for it by banning him off his PC for the evening to try and make him understand he shouldn't be doing that.

Anyway, two days later I see the new boy and he tells me DS11 knocked him over and he has a gaze on his elbow all in a happy tone.
His mum was mouthing don't worry but I'm completely mortified.

Do you think I should explain to the new boys parents about DS11 having autism and learning difficulties? Or should I try and forget about it? Obviously his autism etc doesn't excuse his behaviour but he does struggle to control himself when he's excited.
I'm probably over thinking this aren't I? Feel like I can't face his parents now incase they think ds11 is a bully 😫

His mum was mouthing don't worry

It's absolutely fine. The mum & her son know it was unintentional, and you apologised.

I can't imagine anyone would think badly of your DS due to this; maybe if you felt comfortable & were chatting to the mum, you could mention he has autism but only in the way of sharing information.

Also, I think banning him from his PC is really unfair - just keep reinforcing appropriate behaviour but punishing him for something unintentional is very harsh

ASD parent here, I'd probably explain and have done in the past. It's really difficult because you don't want to be seen to be making excuses but some aspects of the condition are uncontrollable. I'd have a chat with Mum and let her know that DS does have consequences for behaviours.

You need to address this full-pelt running thing! Otherwise new pal might not be the last casualty. Maybe practise it at home. So it becomes a routine habit instead of the rather dangerous one. I love it that he’s so excited to see you though. Maybe start from the moment he sees you. That can be the signal for new behaviour. He could maybe stride towards you?? Count the strides? 1 2 3 4 5 and some kind of new agreed greeting - fist bump, high 5, make it a game? Maybe get releasing school staff on board to remind him.

Awww bless him. I'd just generally start a chat with the new boys mum and mention it in conversation

Yes! That's the goal we are trying to change his behaviour currently from full pelt to a stride or quick walk.
He has remembered a few times now but obviously some days he's more excited than others. That's good advice I will ask his teacher to kindly remind him before she lets him out.

The PC thing wasn't mean in my eyes, he did not kick off over it. He's 11 but the size of a 14 year old so can do a lot of damage so he has to learn.

I will mention to the mum in passing about his autism etc. The new boys parents are lovely and I just don't want to hurt the new relationship between him and DS6.

I really wouldn't worry. It was an accident, your son was clearly sorry and apologised. The other kid is probably enjoying showing off his war wounds. Autism or not, loads of boys this age are like bulls in a china shop, doesn't mean they're bullies. If I was the other mum I wouldn't think twice - kids play rough and fall over, it's part of life.

I actually think the mum has already worked it out. if she mouthed don’t worry she knows it was an accident and probably has picked up other behaviours.