To feel lost in life?

[ladylalatub]

I am 30 years old and feel like life has passed me by and I have no prospects. For my A-Levels taken in 2010, I got 2 A*s in English Literature and Latin and 2 As in Spanish and Drama & Theatre Studies. Due to mental illness, not making any friends and not having much support I ended up dropping out of my BA Classics degree course at Oxford University- after taking time off twice. I was always more interested in Classical literature's influence on English Literature and I started the Foundation Certificate in English Literature at Oxford University's Department of Continuing Education, but due to ongoing psychosis I ended up withdrawing from that. I've been on antipsychotics for the last few years which has stabilised my mental health and I've been working in customer service part-time since then. I took Mods exams while I was reading Classics and achieved a 2:2 and I've been considering applying to other universities and transferring that as credits. I'm feeling so lost and stuck at my job, but I'm lacking the confidence to go back to university. When I was doing the Foundation course, I was getting 2:1 grades in my essays, so I know I'm somewhat capable but I'm scared of things going wrong. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated for possible career options in the future, as I want to pursue a career in something I enjoy but just feel so lost.

First of all, in the kindest possible way and with the benefit of extreme age, life has not passed you by at 30. However, I can completely understand why you might feel that way, especially given your clear potential and because we often (usually unhelpfully) compare ourselves with our peers!

How would you think about doing the Open University as a halfway house? It may be a bit less daunting than full time university and you get a lot of support with writing essays, careers advice, pastoral support etc. You also get a certain amount of face to face teaching and often a yearly residential summer school for a week. I'm sure other universities offer part time courses, like one weekend a month or similar, which would allow you to continue with your job and current life, which is keeping you stable.

You are obviously talented and hardworking. The main thing is to find out what career would suit you best going forward, and find a course that helps you to reach that. Think about questions like, do you work best in a team or on your own; do you like routine or variety; do you like hierarchy or flat team structures? Then think about a career that best meets your needs and wants.

Good luck!

I was considering the Open University, but I don't know how well regarded it is abroad and not just in the UK. I also don't think they do the residential summer school weeks anymore, because of Covid. From what I've read as well, they don't seem to do face-to-face teaching anymore, maybe only on Zoom. I don't know.

But those are all things you can find out easily! That's part of the research involved in choosing a university.

Sorry, Spabreak, I forgot to say thank you for your advice and encouragement.

Of course you should get going and do something you want with your life. Life has definitely not passed you by at 30, many people don’t get going till then, but it would be wise you get going now.

It would be worth taking your your doctors about some CBT to reframe the thinking that is holding you back - eg it’s natural to be nervous of what might go wrong, but there is no reason that should hold you back. You don’t want to get stuck in rumination, because only action will move you forward.

First step is do some research into courses and what you want to do. career shifters can be a useful organisation to help you make a plan. If you are interested in part time courses also look at Birkbeck as that would give you a london university degree.

Just go for it. Life is so short. Your mental health has held you back for long enough - you are enough, you are capable, you are able, you can bloody do this!