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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just so fed up of routine

28 replies

dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 17:17

How do you guys not just get so fed up of the mundaneness of everyday life ? I just feel like there's nothing to look forward to, really.

Life just seems one long slog of responsibilities and no fun. But what is even fun anymore ? I don't even know.

Anyone else feel like this or just me?

I'm just so tired and fed up. My biggest highlight of the week is that I get to go to an MRI scan, which means I have a break from my kids for a few hours.

How sad is that.

I can't see it changing as they get older either. Then I'll need to ferry them around to school and actives etc. and everything will be just so routine and joyless anyway.

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 22/06/2022 18:38

Oh yes..

Do you have a partner or support? could you carve a regular slot out for yourself even if it’s for a coffee and a read in a cafe.

It’s a little step to claiming some life back

orwellwasright · 22/06/2022 18:40

Google anhedonia.

Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 18:53

Honestly the only thing I want is to lose weight. It would make me happy. It's just eluding me. I'm literally counting everything that goes into my mouth. It makes no sense. My post baby stomach just doesn't want to go down. It's the most depressing thing ever. To walk around hungry all the time and have nothing to show for it. I could honestly break down every minute.

I'm like a zombie going through life. The only thing that would make it better is to lose weight and no matter how hard I try, it's not shifting. It's so depressing. I can't take it.

OP posts:
Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 18:54

Luredbyapomegranate · 22/06/2022 18:38

Oh yes..

Do you have a partner or support? could you carve a regular slot out for yourself even if it’s for a coffee and a read in a cafe.

It’s a little step to claiming some life back

Always at work. All on me. I have no break, ever. Not even during the night. Nothing. I'm breaking.

OP posts:
mamaiscool · 22/06/2022 18:55

@dramalama22 exactly how I feel & the losing weight too it feels so impossible

Fitterbyfifty · 22/06/2022 18:56

It sounds like you are really tired. How old are your kids? It won't necessarily be harder when they're older. Mine are much better company as teenagers and I hardly take them anywhere as they have bikes and a bus pass!

Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 18:57

mamaiscool · 22/06/2022 18:55

@dramalama22 exactly how I feel & the losing weight too it feels so impossible

And everyone thinks you're just some gluttonous pig. Because you know, calorie in vs calories out.

It's killing me honestly. I can't wear anything. I look pregnant. It's disgusting.

OP posts:
TryThisItHelps · 22/06/2022 18:58

You need to plan something to look forward to, where you get to go away and do something different.

Visit a friend? Go to the theatre with a friend or alone? Visit a nearby city for a day? Whatever it is, choose a weekend where your partner can look after the kids and put it in the diary.

FemmeNatal · 22/06/2022 19:00

Can your husband take over for a few days and nights and you get yourself away somewhere for a break?

Riapia · 22/06/2022 19:00

Wether we like it or not we are all creatures of routine/habit.
A group of us meet at a local coffee shop, on the same day at the same time every week.
Why do we do it? Because it “makes a change.”
Imagine the uproar if your local council announced that they were going to collect the bins on random days. Because it would make a change for their guys.

Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 19:01

Fitterbyfifty · 22/06/2022 18:56

It sounds like you are really tired. How old are your kids? It won't necessarily be harder when they're older. Mine are much better company as teenagers and I hardly take them anywhere as they have bikes and a bus pass!

They're only small. I have an 8 week old and 2 and a half year old.

Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed, even when they're bigger, it might be easier. But to live with the worries I will have about them. I'll be worried about them until I die basically, is just so daunting. Their well-being is all consuming to me and takes everything I have. There's nothing left.

OP posts:
Labdo · 22/06/2022 19:01

We always have something planned to look forward to, even if it’s just nice meal out or a trip to the cinema.

also going back to work massively helped!!

Geneviev · 22/06/2022 19:02

I hear you. I really do. C section stomach. Nothing hides it. House constantly a wreck because kids just mess it up as they go. Not enough hours in the day to fit everything in.

Everything is so hard.

mamaiscool · 22/06/2022 19:02

I feel you. Not only thats but finding the energy & motivation to keep it up.

They all say you'll feel it in two weeks and begin to see it at 8-12weeks

Are you on medication or contraceptive? They can really have an affect on mood and weight

I just feel like I'm going round in circles complaining about the same things so I know exactly what it's like if that's any comfort x

MargosKaftan · 22/06/2022 19:02

You are tired and hungry. It is very difficult to find joy in life when the basics of food and sleep aren't being met.

You sound like someone who needs to go back to work, to get sleep, to lose weight via exercise not diet. You sound like you need things to look forward to. You sound normal.

The pre school years are bloody hard. It does get better, talk to your dp about some breaks.

Geneviev · 22/06/2022 19:03

8 weeks?! You’re being WAY too hard on yourself re the weight loss!! Please don’t even let it cross your mind right now.

My youngest is 5. I’m not sure I can call it baby weight any more…

Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 19:03

MargosKaftan · 22/06/2022 19:02

You are tired and hungry. It is very difficult to find joy in life when the basics of food and sleep aren't being met.

You sound like someone who needs to go back to work, to get sleep, to lose weight via exercise not diet. You sound like you need things to look forward to. You sound normal.

The pre school years are bloody hard. It does get better, talk to your dp about some breaks.

I just feel like I can't be happy until I look more normal again. I'm trying so hard and it just does not work this time. I don't get why.

OP posts:
orwellwasright · 22/06/2022 19:04

8 week old baby? PND?

CheapNcheerful · 22/06/2022 19:04

@dramalama22 I know you say you feel it I'm sure you don't look disgusting at all. Curves are beautiful and I really mean that. Your body has gone through pregnancy so be kind to yourself x

Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 19:05

Geneviev · 22/06/2022 19:03

8 weeks?! You’re being WAY too hard on yourself re the weight loss!! Please don’t even let it cross your mind right now.

My youngest is 5. I’m not sure I can call it baby weight any more…

I look disgusting. I cannot live like this. I need to do something honestly. I'm unrecognisable. It's so embarrassing. I avoid seeing people. I'm so ashamed. I have to do something or at least be on a path, otherwise I'm really even more down in the dumps.

OP posts:
Fitterbyfifty · 22/06/2022 19:05

dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 19:01

They're only small. I have an 8 week old and 2 and a half year old.

Sometimes I'm just overwhelmed, even when they're bigger, it might be easier. But to live with the worries I will have about them. I'll be worried about them until I die basically, is just so daunting. Their well-being is all consuming to me and takes everything I have. There's nothing left.

Show quote history

An 8 week old? You are right in the thick of it! No wonder you're feeling tired and drained! You really need a break - make sure those close to you realise that! 💐

Original poster
dramalama22 · 22/06/2022 19:08

I am going away to see my family next weekend for at least a month. But I'm already dreading coming back and I'm worried now I'll cope when I come back.

I guess being able to go ( I needed to get baby passport first ) is really the only thing that has kept me going. I'm
Happy I'm going away. But I'm so worried for when I come back. I hope things get easier and maybe my mood lifts then and everything won't look so bad.

OP posts:
AliceW89 · 22/06/2022 19:09

They're only small. I have an 8 week old and 2 and a half year old

Oh wow they are really small children. I’m not sure anyone feels like they are smashing it and doing much beyond surviving with a newborn and a toddler. I was going to suggest trying to carve out time for yourself, but with DC that age I think it’s just about getting through each day, minute by minute, especially if your DP isn’t much help. Does the elder one go to nursery at all?

HungryandIknowit · 22/06/2022 19:11

Looking after kids that age is full on and fairly mind numbing. You need some sleep and a break. Can you afford to put the older one into nursery for some time during the week? Get your husband to take the baby for a block of time (early evening or early morning) so you can get some uninterrupted sleep. Your husband should also be getting up with the toddler and getting them ready before work, assuming he works standard office hours. If you have family or friends nearby use them. If not, join classes to meet other mums. Getting out of the house - especially if you're meeting someone else - makes the day go quicker and means you don't have to role play with teddies for the 50th time in a thirty minute period.

GrumpyTerrier · 22/06/2022 19:50

I hear you. Also needing to lose weight, it has ruined my life for too long. But the things I take the most joy in usually involve nice food, meals out, pub.... so all my joy has gone and nothing seems to be happening. Or if I break the diet to get a little bit of fun in life, I hate myself even more afterwards. It is unbearable.