Dropping kids off at party

[Ghl]

My daughter has been invited to a party at a friend’s house and the mum has mentioned it a few times telling us to put it in the diary, so we already agreed to go, but we weren’t aware until the invitations came out that parents are being asked to drop the kids off and collect at the end. Now she doesn’t want to go if I can’t stay with her.

She is extremely shy and receives additional support sessions in school because of this, so asking her to just suck it up is out of the question.

So with that in mind, I understand that both of these options are pretty rude, but which one is less rude? Should I backtrack and say we hadn’t realised parents couldn’t come and now she won’t be coming or should I ask the parents if it would be possible for me to stay and offer to help with the kids / food etc even though they clearly don’t want parents there?

I would speak to the mum, it's likely she won't mind you staying but just doesn't want 30 parents hanging around requiring drinks.

I'd explain to the other mum that your little one won't be comfortable staying without her and would it be OK for you to tag along and offer to help out of course.

*without you

Can’t you just call the other parent and explain the situation? Be clear that your daughter has additional needs in that respect, but would still love to go.

I don’t think either option is rude if accompanied with the explanation. I’d also be completely happy to have an extra pair of hands if I was the mum in question!

Just talk to the other mum and explain and see what suits her best. Hopefully she will be happy for you tomatoey and help out. I remember one of my dd’s little friends wouldn’t stay without her mum so they came together.

How old and how many kids are going?

How old is she?

How old are they?

I’d send a message, saying DD is anxious and won’t be happy being left. You’re happy to stay with her but appreciate that might not be what they want- no worries at all if not, DD will bow out and would love to do something with her friend another time.

They’re 6 and I think it’s around 10 girls from the class. I’m not sure about other friends or relatives.

With 6 year olds it is entirely reasonable to ask if you can stay and I'm sure she won't be the only child who wants a parent there!

Thanks. This was what I was edging towards, but wanted to suss out what others thought to see it if was out of line to ask that she makes an exception for my child. It’s also a 3hr party, so it’s a long time for her to be waiting to be collected if she’s upset

At 6 there were always one or two dc that still wanted mum or dad at a party ime.

I think it's fine to ask if you can stay in this case. I would prefer having an extra parent around to potentially having to deal with a weepy, anxious child during a party or not having one of my DC's friends attend.

I wouldn’t feel you were out of line at all. I’ve got my dds 6th birthday coming up and am very easy on whether people drop and go, or stay, in fact I’d rather a few stay so I have some people to chat to, but appreciate not everyone would feel the same. I think at this age both options are totally acceptable and just depend on the kid/parent!

Thanks everyone for putting my mind at ease. I feel a bit better about asking her now. I’ll have a chat with her tonight.

I was worrying about nothing. The mum was really understanding and totally happy for me to stay with my daughter. Thanks all 👍🏻

I’ve got a very happy little girl 😁