Or was this inappropriate?

[skybluee]

When I was having a physiotherapy session I was laying on my front and the physio took a hair band and gathered my hair up and put it into a ponytail without asking me. I felt really uncomfortable with it as it felt kind of intimate and I didn't want him touching my hair or doing anything like that. I don't get why he wouldn't ask. Do you think this is inappropriate (to do that without any warning) or no? Would you be uncomfortable with it?

He should have asked. That’s best practice and what is taught.
Ask for consent before laying hands on a patient and doing anything new. They are also taught to be more sensitive to people feeling vulnerable of clothes have been removed and to do everything possible to minimise

If he made you uncomfortable then that’s how it was. Don’t let people tell you you’re being unreasonable. Sometimes people give us the no feeling for a reason we can’t define.
i usually give those people a wide berth.
you don’t have to be able to define why for it it be valid but you should be willing to question your assumptions and prejudices

he should have asked you to do it or offered to help if you found it tricky not assumed and touched you in a way many people would find intimate.

When there’s physical contact professionalism acts as a boundary that protects both parties from any misunderstandings and makes the client/patient feel more comfortable. I’d expect any physio to get regular feedback from the patient eg I’m just going to tie back your hair, is that ok? I’d also expect a male physio to be extra careful with female patients when it comes to consent and keeping things professional. It’s a very vulnerable position to be in as the patient. There has to be good communication because they need to know if they’re causing pain, getting to the source of the pain, asking you to move in a way that’s beyond your current range of motion etc.

I think you did the right thing. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation trust your instincts. Whatever anyone else might think, you were the one who was there. If something doesn’t feel right yours is the only opinion that really matters.

YANBU. Hair is an intimate area. You expected him to massage you for physio but he should've asked you first about your hair. Usually a physio would tell you what they are going to do as they go along.
If you felt uncomfortable then he wasn't doing his job properly.

What NoPosters said ^

Yabu if it makes you feel uncomfortable, that’s how you feel.

I’m not a physio but work in something similar. I always check with the client.. I would say ‘would you mind tying your hair out if the way’ or ‘am I ok to undo your bra’.

As for the text, I would text a client to remind them of something if it’s different to what they usually need to bring/need to do.

It’s completely inappropriate, anytime I’ve had a massage or beauty treatment, or even dental work they’ve asked me to tie my hair back. I totally get what you mean it’s quite an intimate thing. He should have asked you to do it. Not professional at all.

he also texted me on my mobile shit like 'don't forget to bring your shorts' which I found intrusive as I don't want texts/contact outside of sessions unless it is necessary.

Maybe he thought it was necessary as someone else had forgotten their shorts so he just sent a general text to everyone?

All sounds a bit strange and if you felt uncomfortable in any way then it’s good you don’t go to him anymore but I’m not sure what you being gay has got to do with it

You felt uncomfortable, that’s your prerogative, but it’s not really a big deal and doesn’t necessarily mean he did anything inappropriate. Life is full of things that make us uncomfortable and we cope. In this case, you didn’t like it, you stopped going to him. Sorted. No need to dwell.

Greenfingers, he can't do physiotherapy without touching my body. That's the difference. That's the entire essence of physiotherapy and what you go there for. You can't do it without that so you basically have to be OK with it to get the treatment. You can't go for physio and then say you aren't OK with them touching your body else you cannot receive the treatment. They would not be able to assess you or treat you. That doesn't mean to say I like that aspect of it but that I would tolerate it and expect it as it's necessary and what it's all about. So no I don't mind that as it's literally part of the treatment and expected, you can't proceed without it.

There's no need to tell me to get a grip. We are all different. It made me feel fucking gross to be perfectly blunt. The reason I wasn't OK with it was because he didn't ask and like other people have said they find too, I find hair very intimate. I was laying on my front with him standing above me wearing something I felt completely exposed in and he literally grabbed my hair and put it in a ponytail without saying anything. I actually didn't know what he was doing at first. Like I said, there was no time for me to say anything, if he had asked or said can you put your hair back I could have easily done it.

If other physios or health professionals are saying they would not do it and students would be failed for that kind of thing then to be honest that is my answer and that's enough for me, that me feeling like that was OK, even if some people would be fine with it, some people aren't and that's why you ask.

User, what me being gay has to do with it is that a man has never touched my hair like that and I don't ever want a man to touch my hair like that. I mentioned it because it's outside of my realm of experience and it made me feel sick. I did not want it to happen. I've been groped in clubs and laughed it off so I don't think I'm particularly sensitive (possibly the opposite) but this really got to me because of how it felt, my hair is really personal and it felt infantalising to have someone put it into a ponytail while I'm face down. I don't want texts or a friendship with someone/chat in my own personal time. I don't want a man touching my hair from behind, gathering my hair up, without asking. Grabbing at me like that when I've no idea what they are doing. Anyway I'm done trying to defend myself, it feels like every little thing I've written has been picked apart, really what's the point... thanks for all of the posters that posted something constructive.

I’m a nurse and would never touch any part of a patients body without permission . That includes hair or adjusting clothing .
I attend physio quite a lot and he always asks if it’s ok to move my t shirt strap or move the band of my leggings when working on my back .

I have a friend who was assaulted by a physio. It was a result of a number of sessions of him pushing the boundaries on acceptable touching (police described it as a form of grooming).

You are completely reasonable to feel that way OP. I'm glad you're not seeing him again.

That is grim OP. No need to undo your top either. Don’t ignore your gut xx

He should have asked. Different if he had asked previously and you said yeah fine

I work with photographers a lot. Sure it would be easier for them to tuck a label in, move a hand to where it needs to be etc etc but there is a massive thing about you do not touch a model, EVER. Unless you ask first and get permission

It does go out the window after a while so if I've worked with someone for 3 years, I'll say can you do this zip up, change in front of them etc

It wouldn't have bothered me a bit.

He should have asked. Did you tell him or stop him?

He should of asked you to tie your hair up at the beginning and if you were already on the massage table then he should of gave you a hair grip and asked you to tie your hair up while he left the room..