To ask if your 12/13 Yr old gets pocket money?

[AfPCheckYourFile]

Things are tight here and my DS does no chores and gets a lot of money in the form of activities, clothes, days out Roblox vouchers etc.

AIBU to ask if you pay your DC to do chores and if you do, how much and what for?

I think it's fair that as money is tight he earns his pocket money rather than gets whatever he wants when he wants it which isn't sustainable for us now at all.

Please share what your DC do for how much and if its successful or not!

TIA! AfP.

Mine are adults but when they were younger they used to get a basic weekly amount which could then be supplemented by chores
when young the basic amount was small as we provided clothes, outings, games, clubs etc
as they grew it developed into more of an allowance system on a sliding scale - they kind of had to proof they wouldn’t blow the lot on random rubbish and not be able to afford clothes or activities before we gave them it all

DSes 13 and 15. I've never paid them to do chores - they have always been expected to pitch in with chores as appropriate to age.

Separate from that they both get £20/month allowance. DS1 saves all his, DS2 used to fritter on Robux etc but is now saving up for a new PC.

We pay for their clothes (within reason - if they wanted some expensive brand they'd have to save for it), phones (again within reason, I'm not buying them iPhones), and family days out.

I think it's completely fine to expect some normal chores in return for pocket money. I also think it's fine to have a few chores that are unpaid, as its important kids contribute to family life.

My 5 year old knows they have to help wash the car etc to earn 50p for sweeties!

It’s hard to say as no idea of your income or ages of your DC
if I had a 16 year old DC right now I would give them an allowance of £50 a week for an agreed amount of chores but they would have to buy everything they needed out of that
remind them of the rates of JSA for a single person might help them adjust their reality

12 and 6 year old here. 12 year old has £40 a month as they go out with friends sometimes, shopping or cinema trips.

6 year old has the odd bits when he needs ( wants ) money for things like v bucks for Fortnite / sweets from the shop

They're both expected to do chores regardless, nothing major just tidying up after themselves or anything I ask for help with like emptying the dishwasher etc

Dd gets £40 per month, her phone paid for, money on her lunch account plus extras.
She does have chores, but I don't threaten to withhold pocket money if she doesn't so them.

Dd14 gets £10 a week plus phone and travel. She does chores but that’s unconnected to the money. At 12 she got £5.

At 12 mine got £32 per month pocket money with no link to chores.
Chores were unpaid, but still expected to be done as that is how it is IRL..I don’t get paid to do laundry or cook or take out the bins, so why set up a DC to expect payment for simply doing chores?

Mine are all in their 20s now.
They were expected to chip in with jobs because they lived here.
Not linked to that, they also had pocket money - at 13, they had £13per month.
Like yours, they did various activities we paid subs / costs for. The Pocket money was just for sweets or the occasional more expensive treat, and to get presents at Christmas etc.

£20 a moth for my 13 yo

A couple of posters here said £20/month and £50/week i.e. over £200/month. As a 1990s kid, my cohort got £2 or £3 a week and the 6th formers got a fiver a week or £25/month. That would be around £50/month for a 2020s teen.

At the end of the day though, "how long is a piece of string?", but to me £20/month is on the low side and £200+ seems excessive.

11yo gets US$45 a month. He empties the dishwasher. Erm. When I remind him. Helps me bring in groceries and if I ask him to do something generally will but no other chores as such.

ive figured it saves me in the long run as now they only get toys at birthday and Xmas and anything else théy want is out of their pocket money budget.

Nope, don’t give my 12 or 16 yr old pocket money. If they want money for something they will ask or I will offer. Both get money if going out for the day or going to do an activity with friends. Neither seem to bothered about not getting any, as I say I give them money when needed and they know 99% of the time I’ll give it to them as long as it’s not an outrageous request.

I’d rather do it that way because I know for sure if I gave my 12yr old say £5/10 a week she would just blow the lot every week on frivolous purchases like sweets and mini brands!

DD got $40 per month (so 20GBP) 5+ years ago, and that was money for casual clothes, days out with friends, technology etc. I was a single mum, and just made ends meet, personally I found it useful because every month the money for her non essentials was budgeted the same, and it taught her to budget.

She never had any set chores other than her own laundry but if things need doing like stacking wood, sometimes she would prep veggies if she got home from school, help with spring cleaning etc.

My daughter is 12 ( year 7 ) secondary school and her dad gives her £40 a week which she spends on clothes and buying birthday gifts for her friends as she gets invited to lots of parties.

I got her a Go Henry card when she started secondary school and I pay £20 a week on it for her for travelling expenses and refreshments as she is in a travel group for school as we live in London.

My13yo gets £4 a week, plus I pay for his phone and obviously clothes, outings etc.
i don't pay for Roblox add-ons or similar, He doesn't buy them himself, thankfully. I'd hate the idea of wasting money.

He saves his pocket money for big things he wants such as a Nintendo Switch.

I expect him to sort his laundry, tidy his room and sort the recycling each week. If he wants more money he washes my car or cuts the lawn.

My kids are 13 and get 25 a week. From that they have to buy school lunch if they don't take a pack up and all regular spending money, but not activities. They also get a tenner a week that goes into savings that they can only spend on things we approve, so far that's become their spending money on holiday and one is now saving to upgrade her phone. We went to this system when they turned 13 by adding up and averaging out roughly what we spent on them when they asked and adding a little since they were getting older.

I don't tie it to chores because I don't think they should be paid for helping out at home, it should be a given because they're part of the household. We have a tidy night on Wednesdays that they are an equal part of, they do ad-hoc chores as asked and they clear up after themselves outside their bedrooms. I've never had trouble with getting them to do things if DH or I are also doing chores, and this works for us. It wouldn't for some others. I suspect trying to get them to remember, for instance, to take the bins out every Thursday night while DH and I watched TV would be less successful, but that's not something we're that bothered about at the moment.

DD has had her age every fortnight since 2. No chores for it but I expect chores done for 'free'. They aren't linked. Chores are the basic expectation of family life.

It's been great. Taught her to save, delayed gratification, no whining in shops because she buys herself or not. She rarely spends it and doesn't really want it!

I give both of mine £5 pw not linked to chores, they get done regardless.
They obviously have phones as well but due to the distance they travel for school and me being at work I consider those a necessity rather than nice to have so didn't include those when thinking about spending money.
I pay out alot (compared to my salary!) For their hobbies but again to me that seemed separate, probably because my parents paid for my hobby but NEVER gave me any money to spend (maybe a tenner for a school trip when everyone else had about £30) so I think of spending money as different to money spent on hobbies etc.

Thanks for all the replies so far. Most seem to say not linked to chores which is interesting. I'll be back on after my shift to read more!

Mine also get money from their nan whenever they see her (a couple of times a month usually), she always gives them a tenner each time. If she didn't then we'd probably give them a bit more. Not £200/month though, that's more than my mortgage 😆

Well my 6 year old does chores and gets pocket money but they are not linked.

My almost 13 year old gets £40 a month but it isn't linked to chores. He is expected to pitch in and help without having to be paid for it.

The amount depends what you expect them to do with it. I got a out £30 a month at 12/13 but then when I was 15/16 I got £120 a month but was expected to buy my own clothes, pay for my phone and basically not need anything else from my parents apart from the food at home.