To not want to go

[ChickenNugget3]

My partners is annoyed I've said I don't want to go and I don't want him to go. I'll be 39 weeks pregnant and the party is just over an hour away. On top of that the day before my sisters getting married (10 minutes away) and I'm a bridesmaid so I will be exhausted from that. All my family will be down visiting for just the weekend that I haven't seen pre pandemic and haven't met our first son (20months old), partner thinks that seeing I'm on the wedding day is enough and I don't need to spend the whole weekend with my family I haven't seen in 3 years and said I'm being selfish not letting him take our son to his step nieces birthday party when we see them every other month and I'll be heavily pregnant.

He doesn't see it as a problem being an hour away when I'm 39 weeks pregnant, our first was induced at 37 weeks due to him beeing small, this time round baby is measuiring well and average. I turned 37 weeks today and I felt nervous visiting a friend half an hour away. Baby could be here by then too so I would want him around for support and certainly not traveling over an hour in the car with a newborn post partum to go to a kids party.

what is it with men who don't understand pregnancy 🤔

you are absolutely 💯 not being unreasonable. just tell him to see his niece in 3 years time for a day seen as it is enough.

or let him go and if he misses the birth then that's on him.

He's an arsehole.

Sorry.

I could hardly walk at 39 weeks, there’s no way I could go to a party over an hour away.

I'm high risk too due to my first borns heart rate dropped with every contraction and so they whisked me down for an emergency c section, I have to go to hospital as soon as I go into labour and the hospital I'm giving birth at is still only 1 birth partner and no swapping so if I did go into labour I would have to go in on my own until my partner gets there and hope my birth doesn't go the same way as my first and don't get whisked down for a c section on my own

It's not convenient for him to see the problem so he simply will not see it. Which is hilarious as actually I can see that there are several problems here and if he says he can't see a single one of them then he's either a liar or being a bit of a bellend to be honest.
Don't be bullied. You plan to rest that day and allow your family to chill out bonding with your DS and bringing you cups of tea hopefully. The niece will have another birthday next year.

And my partner doesn't drive so would be expecting me to drive or be catching a lift with someone and then expect them to bring him back in a rush if I did go into labour.

I feel like because I didn't struggle with my first pregnancy as he was so small and came out at 4lbs 5oz, this time round he doesn't understand that I am struggling with a baby weighing 6lbs 9oz already, we were at the pub garden fathers day with his family and I was uncomfortable and getting light period cramps (turned out it was nothing, been getting them on and off daily since) and asked him to go home to which he replied you can go, I'll get a lift home with someone later, like thanks ill go home and be I'm pain and discomfort on my own, he did eventually agree to go home

Your husband is either completely inconsiderate and selfish or he's a complete idiot. I'm actually torn between the two and think he's a mixture of both. Is he always like this?

Ok with your update I'm now firmly in the bellend camp.
FWIW I'm in your boat too, first baby delivered at 37 weeks as stopped growing, currently 27 weeks with apparently a 93rd centile baby 😳 (getting scanned and bloods every fortnight after second baby was stillborn) DH doesn't drive either and 4 weeks before this baby will be delivered (at 37 weeks latest if not before) DH is away for a week on a fundraising trip in memory of DS2.
So I know your panic very well. Difference is I can't be too mad at DH as he's doing it for our baby and the slightest whiff of trouble it will be cancelled. If he was pissing about at 39 weeks at kids birthday parties while telling me time with my family wasn't important I'd be deeply unimpressed.

Op you really don't need a list of reasons not to go. You just need a man who gives a fuck about you...

Whatever did you see in this prize of a man to want two children with him? Seriously?

20 months? Firstly stop that. Your child is almost 2

Just say to partner go to wedding alone. You stay home and see family. It’s not difficult.

Good lord he's not an arsehole. Some
Posters honestly.

There is no reason he can't go on his own or with your son, as long as the baby hasn't arrived. Plenty of people work an hour away from their partners and survive. Sounds like you'll be surrounded with family so others there to help if you suddenly go into labour and it all happens within an hour...

A kids party? Complete lack of priorities.

you won't be able to drive. You will not be able to reach the brake. I could only reach the accelerator and clutch by that point so could not drive.

That's a good point about not being able to drive. Your bump will be bigger this time, I couldn't drive at that stage either. Plus no change I could sit in that position for that long! It's also too far from your hospital I'd imagine?

It's your sisters wedding weekend and you have enough on your plate

YANBU