To ditch most of my mum friends?

[BaggaChip]

I have a baby under one, and met a small group of women via pre-natal classes. We go to cafes and baby classes together.

Now I’ve known them a while, I’ve realised that most of them just aren’t my cup of tea. At best they’re zero craic, and at worst one of them is a competitive/humble bragging type.

There’s one other mum in the group that I genuinely like.

I feel like life is too short to spend time with people I don’t like that much. How do I go about withdrawing myself from the group? We are in an online group message too. Do I just leave? Do I slowly withdraw?

AIBU to ditch most of these friends and try to only stay in touch with the mum I like?

you're right - life is too short!!!
I can't handle being around fake people. I have a select few friends, some pre-children and some who I've met in the process of having DC.

I would slowly withdraw, make excuses and fade into the background. I'd mute the chat too.

My group naturally drifted when we all went back to work. There is 1 of 6 I still keep in contact with.

If you live local to them they are going to be school playground parents. I would or withdraw dramatically just be less available. It happens when everyone starts going back to work anyway

invest in the one you really like and develop that relationship.

Why would it be unreasonable? If you don’t like them why would you maintain a friendship?

I guess if they realise I’ve made an effort to stay in touch with just one of them, they could be insulted.

Thanks for replies, I’ll try the slowly fade away approach and will have to stomach the humble brags for now.

Try to spend time with the one you like on your own (if she likes you too of course) and you might come away with a friendship. If not, slowly become too busy to join them but encourage them to do things without you e.g. "I'm taking DC to visit family that week but don't let me stop you doing X" They'll probably get the hint that you're less interested

Don't leave the group, especially if you live in a small place. Knowing them a bit is handy when they start school etc.

Just invite the one you like round for a play date.

Once the babies are on the go you won't want to meet in big groups, it's too much chaos! So splintering starts to happen.

Reply to the odd thing but don't be overly engaged

But how will they know? Just exchange personal messages with the ones you want to meet up with.

Totally normal for these larger groups to reduce. I’m friends with 2 from NCT from 8 years ago. Group of 8. Still be friendly with everyone but just arrange things with the one you like!

I was sometimes the humblebrag dickhead in my group. I dunno how they put up with me. We drifted quite a bit, one moved v far away but we stayed great friends. I've since found that a couple, who are local, are pretty great now the kids are older and I'm less nuts (I'm not saying your HBer is nuts, but I was losing my marbles) - our paths cross sometimes and it's lovely to see them. I defos knew that one was more my cup of tea than the rest but I'm glad I didn't say anything majorly stupid. Ok, there were a couple of things. I'm not you in this situation, but that's how it panned out here. Also, you'll never hear it direct from the source, so I hereby nominate myself a proxy and apologise for HBer's behaviour. HTH!

Get rid of them if they’re not for you. I met a bunch of mums at baby group and they’d all be at all the baby things. Tbh I knew straight away they weren’t for me and kept a polite distance. I then met people who were more my cup of tea. I have no regrets, I can’t imagine still being friends with them now