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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have had enough of my absolute loon of a neighbour!?

20 replies

Fedupofthis123 · 21/06/2022 15:55

Basically as above! We argued over parking when he moved in and since then he’s behaving more and more erratic and strange…

Ill try and give the short hand version of this. Housing association houses mostly with allocated parking spaces. 1 space per house apart from his house which has a sort of drive.

He works with cars and also has more than one so struggles with parking. When he moved in he parked a van in my allocated space. (I don’t drive but do have visitors so need the space free). He was outside when I got back so I pointed out that the spaces were allocated in case he didn’t know because it’s not exactly obvious in fairness.
To be kind and neighbourly I said he could use the space overnight because it will be free then but I need it empty in the day. He was happy with this. Alls good.

A few weeks later a car had been parked in my space for days on end. When I worked out it was him I put a note on the windscreen. He took the note of, threw it on the ground and continued to park there. Next time I see him I ask him to move it and he starts getting aggressive saying he will park where he likes and it’s not my space. I contact the housing association who phone him and let him know it’s very much my space. They also put a number on it.

A few weeks pass and he’s at it again. Very similar situation happens where he gets aggressive. I get annoyed back and eventually he moves the car and gets another phone call of the housing association.

Then again. This time it’s a van and somebody is sleeping in it. I ask dh to go and tell them to move it as we have people about to show up. Dh is extremely polite and can be seen as a bit of a pushover. The guy immediately starts saying ‘get off my property’ before pushing dh to the ground. Dh phones the police and a woman gets out of the van and starts begging him not to. I ask the guy what his problem is and he says ‘you don’t even have a car’. He seems to think he’s entitled to it even though I pay for the damn thing.

Since then he hasn’t parked in said space but he has decided to take against the Tesco delivery man. He comes outside when they are delivering my shopping to glare at them or tell them they are parking too close to his drive. He is quite aggressive. One of the delivery drivers asked us if he is ‘quite sane’.
He is now parking a van close to my space to make it harder for my visitors to park there. Any workman who comes to my house and accidentally parks in next doors space (they don’t mind, the spaces are next to each other and as long as ones free they don’t care) he comes out to chastise them. He glared at my mum the other day when she was reversing out of my space. Literally came outside to glare. What is his problem!? I really want to ask him but dh has forbidden me.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 21/06/2022 16:00

The most powerful thing you can do is ignore this man at all costs. Do anything else and you are ‘feeding the dragon’

the only time I would take action is if he starts using the space again I would call the housing office

EmmaH2022 · 21/06/2022 16:20

There's a form here about designated parking spaces

www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/asb/asb/antisocial-behaviour/nuisance-parking/

Basilbrushgotfat · 21/06/2022 16:59

I mean, you know what his problem is. It's you.

I agree with @Quitelikeit

PansyPetunia · 21/06/2022 17:12

I'm more shocked your DH has 'forbidden' you to do something and you are obeying!!

You seem to have a problem with men bullying you

SoftwareDev · 21/06/2022 17:29

Given that he has stopped using the space it seems you have won!

However, him being an arrogant alpha is not keen to admit defeat hence the "glare". What a tough guy - glaring at your mother! Would LOVE to see him do it to a burly bloke!

Rejoice and ignore his unhinged behaviour unless he starts up parking on the space again - then act swiftly to shut down.

70kid · 21/06/2022 17:32

My advice
Get Cctv / Ring doorbell
Dont speak to him

not to scare you, but last year two horrific murders were committed by neighbours and in both cases it was over parking spaces

NumberTheory · 21/06/2022 17:34

The only possible thing that asking him what his problem is will do is wind him up. There is not a single thing you can gain by doing that. I understand he's an ass but you would be shooting yourself (and your DH) in the foot by letting your frustration get the better of you.

Report him to the HA or police every time he blocks you or parks in your spot or harasses one of your guests. Otherwise have as little to do with him as possible.

Oceanus · 21/06/2022 17:54

Tbh I think your DH's right telling you not to engage. He's probably worried about this escalating and you getting hurt. Just keep on ignoring. This guy's nuts, you fight back and he's going to keep on trying to do sth bigger and bolder than before till he wins.

EmmaH2022 · 21/06/2022 18:03

SoftwareDev · 21/06/2022 17:29

Given that he has stopped using the space it seems you have won!

However, him being an arrogant alpha is not keen to admit defeat hence the "glare". What a tough guy - glaring at your mother! Would LOVE to see him do it to a burly bloke!

Rejoice and ignore his unhinged behaviour unless he starts up parking on the space again - then act swiftly to shut down.

But he has done it to men.

LuckyStone · 21/06/2022 18:31

I can tell you what his problem is. He has a screw loose. He seems to have anger issues coupled with a huge sense of entitlement.
I would also second ppl and say, stay away from him, he seems very unhinged.

Spanielsarepainless · 21/06/2022 18:44

Log all this. A bloke down here has just been jailed for 38 years after murdering a couple over a parking row.

StoneofDestiny · 21/06/2022 18:48

Get a penguin bollard put in and ignore him. He will spontaneously combust at some point!

SoftwareDev · 21/06/2022 18:54

@EmmaH2022

The OP mentioned her DH looks like "a bit of a pushover" and Tesco van drivers are highly unlikely to retaliate as it would cost them their job.

My point was I doubt he'd do it to a menacing looking bloke who had nothing to lose (unlike the Tesco drivers).

Fedupofthis123 · 21/06/2022 18:55

Its not that my husband is controlling me by saying to stay away from him. It’s more that he saw how he went from 0 to 60 on the anger scale in a second and doesn’t want me to be on the receiving end of that pansypetunia.

I’m certain there’s a screw loose somewhere. I’ve only really listed the behaviour that I know is aimed at this household. He has displayed odd behaviour in general as well. You can sometimes find him riding a child’s quad bike around the estate streets… he also likes to rev his engine at various times throughout the night. He has ‘enhanced’ the engine so it roars. It’s not unusual for him to go out at 3,4 or 5am, do that for a bit and then go back inside.

Im not going to actually say anything to him unless he starts parking in my space again. His behaviour annoys me though because I feel like I’ve done something to cause it when I’m actuality I tried to be accommodating when he first moved in.

OP posts:
PrincessPeach22 · 21/06/2022 18:57

Just saw a thread about someone being stabbed by neighbour over a parking space be very careful xx

Cas112 · 21/06/2022 19:01

SoftwareDev · 21/06/2022 17:29

Given that he has stopped using the space it seems you have won!

However, him being an arrogant alpha is not keen to admit defeat hence the "glare". What a tough guy - glaring at your mother! Would LOVE to see him do it to a burly bloke!

Rejoice and ignore his unhinged behaviour unless he starts up parking on the space again - then act swiftly to shut down.

Did you not read the OP? He has done it to a man

catandcoffee · 21/06/2022 19:03

He sounds a very dangerous type of person.

I can understand your frustration, but in this situation I would be very cautious.

It's not worth losing your life over a parking space.

SoftwareDev · 21/06/2022 19:35

@Cas112 I explained my post above.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 21/06/2022 19:44

Nuttier than squirrel shit. Agree with PPs, ignore him as much as you can. He's clearly used to getting his own way and is highly pissed off that he didn't this time.
What you did was, you didnt back down. That's all.

KingChanter · 21/06/2022 19:55

Sometimes people are just mentally unwell. Stay away from him as much as possible in case when he snaps it's at you.

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