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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Next doors dog

59 replies

SliceoQuiche · 21/06/2022 15:25

I’ll caveat this with by saying I LOVE dogs and would love one of my own, but currently circumstances don’t allow for it.

Next door got a black lab at the beginning of April. Quite an energetic little thing and really quite lovely, he’s now around 6 months old.

My problem is the barking. Before anyone says it, yes, I am aware dogs bark. But this is something else…
Neighbour works 8am-6pm Tuesday to Saturday and with the exception of a couple of hours in the middle of the day the dog barks non stop, on for a minute or two, then stop for a minute, on then stop. How it still has the energy or any voice left is beyond me.

I work from home, hence I notice it all week; I’ve had people on Teams meetings ask if I can mute because of my dog, I’ve been woken pre-6am because of the dog… it’s just never ending and I feel like I’m going mad.

We’ve mentioned it to the neighbour a couple of times now, he flits between ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘what do you expect me to do about it when I’m not there?’

How long is too long to put up with this? AIBU to contact the council with a noise complaint? I don’t want to be that neighbour, I want to get on with people, but I can feel my nerves fraying with the repetitive barking day in day out!

OP posts:
CupidStunt22 · 22/06/2022 10:24

lucylooareyou · 21/06/2022 16:39

As the owner of a 'barky' dog myself i can sympathise with both sides.

I am 100% aware of the fustration hering a barking dog day in day out ca have, even after 5 minutes of hearing someone elses dog barking it drives me mad.

But it is also ally really hard to try and stop a dog doing something it instinctively does.
Mine barks through seperation anxiety (down to circumstances that occurred before he was in my life) and use to howl for the entire 4 hours he was left at home. We had council letters, RSPCA called the lot. All of course deemed safe and loved because he is, but he just hates being alone.

Unortuantely though, i need to work to pay the bills. We have tried all sorts to help calm him down and have found a new furry buddy, a long walk before leaving and a constant routine has greatly reduced his anxietys.

If your neighbour is taking steps to reduce his anxiety then as fustrating it is for you, it is the age old question of what can he actually do about it? People need to work, and that doesnt mean they shouldnt have a dog. Im guessing that middle of the day silence is due to neighbour coming home and interacting with the dog? Meaning he is alone for 4 hours at a time max?

But i do sympathise for you having to hear it day in day out. It is just a tricky one

He can not have the dog. Just as you should not have a dog that is so disruptive to your neighbours. Thats what you can do.

If you work all day every day and your dog cannot cope alone and barks all day, you absolutely should not have a dog. It really is that simple and its not at all tricky.

ColourFan · 22/06/2022 10:30

Mine barks through seperation anxiety (down to circumstances that occurred before he was in my life) and use to howl for the entire 4 hours he was left at home. We had council letters, RSPCA called the lot. All of course deemed safe and loved because he is, but he just hates being alone.
Unortuantely though, i need to work to pay the bills.

@lucylooareyou My dog has separation anxiety too. It’s awful. But I took the time finding the right day care for him. Yes it’s an expense I could very much do without, but it’s just one of those things you have to do.

lucylooareyou · 23/06/2022 17:00

As always MN making all the assumptions off 1 small snippet post into a strangers life!

  1. Not at any point in my post did i mention that i work all day, infact i specifically said 4 hours - hardly all day.

  2. It is not feesible or advised by proffessionals to appease the anxiety by simply accepting it and making yourself available to your dog all day everyday and not leaving their side. If a child had seperation anxiety (which many do) - the answer is to not make sure that child stays with you 24/7 is it?
    No. Its to put practises and routine in place to ease the anxiety.
    I have worked with my dog for 2 years solid with a behaviouralist, starting off with small little snippets - and building up to where i can now leave him for 4 hours with his brother without fuss (minus the postman visiting but he now self calms within minutes).
    For those saying day care - thats a bandaid on an crack. I have actually address his anxiety instead of just passing him off for the day.
    It is not possible to have someone around all the time (hospital appointments for one example) so in my eyes, tackling the anxiety is far better than just shipping them off as a distraction.
    Again, mentioned in my post that his anxiety is reduced grately but that doesn't suit those who have had a bad day and want to take it out on a stranger.

The point of my post was to say if he is actively taking steps to help reduce his dogs anxiety then unfortunately for the neighbour it is slow (and fustrating for all, noone likes seeing their pet distressed) process but should start to improve over time.
If he is doing nothing to try and ease his anxiety then yes he is just an asshole for thinking everyone should accept listening to his dog barking.

Floralnomad · 23/06/2022 17:51

@lucylooareyou what you actually said in your first post was

If your neighbour is taking steps to reduce his anxiety then as fustrating it is for you, it is the age old question of what can he actually do about it? People need to work, and that doesnt mean they shouldnt have a dog. Im guessing that middle of the day silence is due to neighbour coming home and interacting with the dog? Meaning he is alone for 4 hours at a time max?

that implies that you think it’s ok for the dog / puppy to be alone for 2x4 hrs either side of the lunchtime interaction . The fact that you / the OPs neighbour or anyone else is trying to deal with the dogs barking is totally irrelevant if the aforementioned dog is upsetting the lives of the neighbours .

SarahSissions · 23/06/2022 17:56

You can make an anonymous complaint to the council, but it’s difficult to do if you’ve already raised it with the neighbour he’ll know it was you. Just remember you have to live next door to this man and if you go down the complaint route and he has his dog removed or a fine it might make things really awkward.

I probably would’ve gone straight to the council. If you escalate it now just make sure you have thick skin because he sounds like a knob

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 23/06/2022 18:00

People need to work, and that doesnt mean they shouldnt have a dog.

Yes it does mean they shouldn't have a dog because it's not fair on the dog at all. I would love a dog but don't because I have to work and it's not fair to leave dogs alone for that length of time for 5 days out of the week.

lucylooareyou · 24/06/2022 08:46

Floralnomad · 23/06/2022 17:51

@lucylooareyou what you actually said in your first post was

If your neighbour is taking steps to reduce his anxiety then as fustrating it is for you, it is the age old question of what can he actually do about it? People need to work, and that doesnt mean they shouldnt have a dog. Im guessing that middle of the day silence is due to neighbour coming home and interacting with the dog? Meaning he is alone for 4 hours at a time max?

that implies that you think it’s ok for the dog / puppy to be alone for 2x4 hrs either side of the lunchtime interaction . The fact that you / the OPs neighbour or anyone else is trying to deal with the dogs barking is totally irrelevant if the aforementioned dog is upsetting the lives of the neighbours .

You've nailed it on the head there. I have been called disgusting, told i shouldn't have my dog, that i should be ashamed of myself due to an assumption.

got to love MN warriors x

NoSquirrels · 24/06/2022 09:03

Poor pup. Report your neighbour.

CupidStunt22 · 24/06/2022 10:22

lucylooareyou · 24/06/2022 08:46

You've nailed it on the head there. I have been called disgusting, told i shouldn't have my dog, that i should be ashamed of myself due to an assumption.

got to love MN warriors x

Show quote history

Not because of an assumption. Because your own description of your dog barking and howling for hours on end upsetting your neighbours.

You shouldn't have a dog...at least not that dog.

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