To not get FWB?

[BiscoffSundae]

Seem to be really common now but is it just me that doesn’t get them? Usually it tends to be with someone the person has met online (think tinder etc) so no actual friendship just sleeping with each other occasionally and calling it a FWB surely there needs to be an actual Friendship first to be a Fwb? Then it ends up with one person getting feelings (normally the woman yes I know men do too but let’s face it it’s mainly the woman) aibu to not understand “FWB” being used for someone you have no friendship with and think most of these situations end in someone getting hurt?

They end up with somebody getting hurt where that somebody doesn’t really want a FWB but is sticking around hoping that eventually the other person will realise they’ve fallen in love with them after all.

Like any type of relationship, a FWB situation relies on both sides being honest, open, emotionally literate, saying what they mean, meaning what they say, and communicating their needs and wants properly. The reality is that many people aren’t very good at that, regardless of the type of relationship they’re in. It just tends to show more immediately in a FWB relationship which relies on it.

I suppose it sounds better than fuckbuddy / regular booty call?

I don’t see the prior friendship as a prerequisite, but agree it’s not for everyone. I think if you’re someone who gets attached very quickly or is at all possessive it’s probably not the best type of relationship for you, but for a lot of people it works very well - regular sex with someone who becomes familiar but without the relationship crap.

I always think you're considerably limiting your choice of partners if you want FWB, since relatively few people would be happy with it. The idea that you can hop out of a sexual relationship if you meet someone who fits you better is just bizarre, and I wouldn't be happy partnering with an individual who wanted to do that. But those in favour of it like to claim that everyone is multiple dating and that no-one is actually single and happy to wait until they meet someone special, etc.. Personally, I find that working very hard to convince that FWB is as mainstream as they claim...

You don't need to get it

I think it’s fine. The perfect solution to needing a shag when not in a relationship.

I don't need to get it but from what I've observed, the man is usually in the driving seat with regard to when they meet up, if they do anything besides have sex.

Often women are in these arrangements but can't dictate the terms.

The terms are that the terms are HIS TERMS

Yes I just wondered why people label it as a FWB when they aren’t actually friends, looking for friends with benefits on tinder is surely just a fuck buddy? But as someone else said it seems that people don’t like to use that term, the ones I’ve heard of there is zero friendship and only meet for sex (all the ones from tinder anyway)

the ones I’ve read about on here that is the case the man is the one who suggests when to meet and the woman isn’t comfortable asking first and they don’t seem to speak in between meetings so just wondered why people label it as friends when there is no friendship

Yes, where somebody just wants sex and not much else, many people would understood as a fuck buddy. But what people choose to call their own relationships and how they define what goes on in them is really up to them, it’s not something the rest of us can control or I’m particularly interested in having an opinion on.

If you dont like them you dont have to have one. I had a FWB situation, met on tinder but clearly neither of us were quite ready for a relationship and we actually did become good friends (spoke most days) who had sex as and when either one of us was feeling it. When we met other people to date we cooled it off and started up again when single. Worked fabulously and neither one developed feelings.

I don’t really understand it when people say they’re going online for a fwb; I don’t have an issue with the scenario but my experience has been that it's someone you’re friends with first and occasionally sleep with.
My experience hasn’t been that either of us ended up getting feelings but the reality was that when we both entered relationships the friendship ended because our new partners weren’t very comfortable with the past situation which I do understand but was a shame

I had two before I was married. One was someone I’d known since I was 13 and we met up in our twenties. It was good fun. The other, I met online and we got to be really good mates although, for some reason, he just wasn’t boyfriend material. I can’t put my finger on why. Then about a year after the second FWB ended I got with DH. You don’t have to get it, it’s not for everyone, but I enjoyed it.

I don't get it either but i guess it's not my business to get. Sex is such an emotional and personal connection for me, I can't imagine just being/feeling used. Maybe some people can detach or compartmentalize it as just an act.

I'd have said a FWB and a fuck buddy were different. I've had both, and it wasn't the same. The FWB were men I'd known for years, and they'd come over, or I'd go over to theirs and we'd watch a film, listen to music, drink wine, talk, have sex.
Fuck buddies weren't friends, and we'd meet up for sex, and then go our separate ways. No friendship involved.

I had this previously. I had come out of a relationship and was really not ready for an actual relationship. I also had a child and didn't want to try to fit anything around my child or even think about introductions etc. But I did want sex and excitement after getting out of that horrible relationship and feeling so shit. I was only in my early twenties and just craved that spark and attraction again. I had a lovely (permanently single) friend who I thought was attracted to me and asked if he'd be interested. He was interested but concerned that it might spoil our friendship.

We had sex regularly and also hung out. I think he definitely wanted more from the start, tbh. He hoped that it would progress into a relationship over time. It did and we are now happily married. But I think he would have been very hurt if it hadn't worked out that way and I had stopped the arrangement to seek a relationship with somebody else.

I agree with your thought about people getting hurt, but have known a couple of women for whom it has seemingly worked. No wish to have children, happy to live alone, but enjoy sex.

Someone you sleep with regularly but don't have a friendship with is a fuck buddy.

When I was single, I had a couple of fuck buddies and one fwb. I didn't develop feelings for any of them.
Fuck buddies are easier as there's no obligation to spend any time with them but with fwb it is more difficult as there is an underlying level of care about the other person as they're already a friend. My fwb developed feelings for me so I stopped the fwb situation and he didn't stay friends with me for much longer as he couldn't shake the feelings and didn't like that I was sleeping with other people.

FWB are really fun and nice if you like the person as a person, like they are funny, nice to be around and fun to have sex with but you don't have romantic feelings or any wish to be a couple. I've had been in a few and they were fun, its easy in the moment and I've found it quite easy to stay friends after its run its course because there is an underlying friendship. It felt like another thing to do with a friend, cinema, studying, sex, swimming etc

Fuck buddies is more like satifying a mutual need with some person. No connection, its more like a repeat one night stand, with the bonus of availability and generally getting better the more it happens as opposed to a string of one night stands which come with more risks and often much worse sex.

I had a FWB for 5 years and it was great. We are friends. We would go out, dinner's etc, and sex. We spoke all the time but only met about once a month. Eventually he moved to a different city so our arrangement died out, but we still text all the time and remained friends