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AIBU?

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Autism diagnosis in young adult

5 replies

WeWillLookBack · 21/06/2022 10:41

I would really appreciate any thoughts / experience on Autism. I have been researching but have very little experience.

My eldest son is 17. He is an amazing, lovely boy. Very well behaved, all 7-9 in GCSES and predicted As at A level. He has always been a bit obsessive, first with clocks, by 5 he knew every car make etc. Then WWII - every tank, battle etc. But we always saw this as part of his lovely personality. He has always been a bit shy – so can struggle in new environments but has a lovely group of friends. He can also struggle on reacting to others’ emotions. But, essentially the easiest and loveliest child to raise.

We just had our check-up with the dentist. Obviously being 17, he goes in on his own. She asked me if he had been diagnosed Autistic, as she felt he may be.
She suggested we investigated it as would help as he is looking to go to university.

In the past, we had thought about it – but any possible ‘traits’ we saw as mild and there were others who needed more support. But her question made me think – and decided to discuss it with him. We had a chat about what the dentist had suggested, and as nearly an adult, it was his decision if he wished to further investigate etc. He then said that 3 different teachers had all suggested / asked if he was autistic. This has never been disclosed or suggested to us. (obviously very annoyed - but this is about the best for my child, not the possible failings at the school)

So now we don’t know what to do. What we see as his personality, I do not believe has negatively affected him at all. But have we stopped him getting further support ? Should we proceed and look to establish properly if he has Autism ? The dentist suggested it would be beneficial for university.

OP posts:
WeWillLookBack · 21/06/2022 10:43

Sorry - 'YOUNG ADULT' - Not your adult !

OP posts:
11Hawkins · 21/06/2022 10:46

Go for it. Talk to him and If he wants to get assessed, then please do.
It's a lot harder to have the assessment when your an adult than when it is when your younger.

LivMumsnet · 21/06/2022 10:49

We've edited your title now, @WeWillLookBack - hope that helps. 😀

BlackeyedSusan · 21/06/2022 10:58

I suggest you go for it.

try to remember developmental issues from when he was little. It is definitely worth getting diagnosed for legal protection and for later in life when it is more difficult to mask successfully.

Fitzfatsfeist · 21/06/2022 10:59

Later diagnosed autistics often find they can cope, until they can't. Big life changes like going to university are a common time for them to start to really struggle.

Also there may be some help available to an older teen, but very little to an adult so if he may like some additional help it might be a good idea to look into it sooner rather than later. If he is diagnosed he may be able to get help (should be individual, but might include things like access to a quieter space to study, permission to record lectures or anything else that may help him) at university and would be able to request reasonable adjustments at work. If he isn't autistic then you haven't lost anything by being assessed. Equally if he doesn't want to then just the knowledge that other people may think differently to how he does can be enough.

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