What age did your dc stop sleeping over their dads

[Janinebutcher79]

Dads or what age did they become responsible for making arrangements

About 13 yrs ago, they in their 20s now.

When they were 18 and went to uni. Now they will go visit for few hours rather than stop. But they started making own arrangements around 14/15 as dad would contact them rather than me.

About 13/14, when she became old enough to choose. She's almost 16 and hasn't slept over her dads for a couple of years. She's only met up with him a couple of times in the last 1-2 years as she doesn't like him, he has very toxic behaviour so I'm not sure this is the best example! Funny how he was publicly fighting for full custody at age nine but couldn't manage to keep up the weekend visits only a few years later.

Mine still do sometimes, they're in their 20s. They've made their own arrangements for contact since they were about 14.

DD was never a fan of sleeping ovewhen she was younger so she didn't. She only really sleeps over now during school holidays due to her dad's work schedule.

She's 12 now and has been making arrangements directly with her dad since her 12th birthday. I put any important dates into our shared phone calendar so she knows what's dates aren't good. We've always been fairly flexible with contact days as he works in retail and I teach so have always had extra time with her during the holidays and my parents were always able to pick her up from school if her dad's shifts changed.

Dd (13) was about 11, due to his awful behaviour. Ds (15) was 13. They started making their own arrangements early on. They don't like him very much, but his girlfriend is good to them, they like her. So when they do go, it's mainly to see her and her family.

I have an 11 year old who doesn’t want to stay over anymore she feels dumped as he’s always out and she’s left with his partner and her siblings which she likes but she wants more say. Thing is she doesn’t want me to speak to him

She’s anxious. About the whole thing and gets angry when I try and explain it’s the only way we can change anything

Get her to write down what she wants to say and, if necessary, send him a text or email to explain how she feels. It's really hard when you're young to have a discussion with an adult about something so serious. You don't want to hurt their feelings or say the wrong thing, but at the same time you know you're at a disadvantage being so young.

I was 14 when I (and my siblings) told our dad that we didn't want formal EOW access any more, we wanted a more fluid, mutually agreed arrangement. The hardest part was just saying it. Things got SO much easier and better though after that.

zafferena - that’s it she doesn’t want to upset anyone. She wants to pick and choose thing is I think he’ll be ok as he understands she’s growing up but just wants to know he’ll see her regularly. I’ll suggest a letter to her x