Been with DH, 15 years. We’re married with 3 kids. Two early teens and one late primary. The middle and youngest both have special needs and attend specialist schools. Youngest is profoundly disabled, middle needs a lot of emotional support. I was unable to return to work 8 years ago as kids were in and out of school (full agreement with DH not to return).
In the last few years, I’ve managed to get back to work. Term time only, it’s badly paid but has gotten me back to work. I’m hugely limited as neither children can access clubs in the holidays as there is nothing locally that would accept them.
When I started work, I was doing around 20 hours a week, I still did all the chores (minus putting the bins out and mowing the lawn), now I work 32 hours a week. I start work when the kids go to school and stop when they’re home regardless of what I’m doing. I make their tea and wash up. Despite my working hours increasing my DH hasn’t picked up any extra chores. I still do the cooking (I don’t cook for him after having spent time previously cooking for him to reject it saying he’d have something else - I can’t get him to help meal plan), I manage all the kids life admin, I wash up, I put washing on, hoover, do all the bathrooms, do all the care needs for my youngest and iron. I feel seriously burnt out. I have eczema up one arm and I just feel knackered.
I feel like because he has the “big important job” and mine is just a badly paid admin role that he expects me to do everything else but it’s a really busy role. We’ve talked about it but nothing ever changes. I’ve suggested a cleaner, he doesn’t want to. I feel utterly disrespected.