Away for a week without DDs and feel awful

[sparks99]

I'm long separated from their dad. They are with him for this week whilst I'm away (all very amicable between me and him) We are usually 50/50.
This is a holiday for me with DP (long term DP) that was booked before lockdown. Now it's finally here I'm having massive guilt about going away without my girls. They are 10 & 12 btw and seem unphased at me going!

AIBU feeling like this??? I honestly could happily not go right now, this guilt is awful and I know I'll miss them terribly. Trying not to be wet but god I hate this feeling.

We will message/ face time etc but it all just makes me v sad right now!!! There will be a 5 hr time difference also.

Any words of advice much appreciated.

Go, enjoy yourself, you deserve it.

Easier said than done I know, I feel guilty having one night away from DD (11), so honestly don't know how I'd cope with a week.

That being said, they are with their dad, they'll be absolutely fine and you'll have huge hugs to look forward to when you come home xx

Separate guilt from you just feeling separation anxiety.

I don’t think there is anything for you to feel guilty about, the girls will have a great time with their Dad, and are fine with you going, so I think it must be you feeling anxious?

it doesn’t sound like you are actually worried about them, so I suspect it’s more the fact that this is happening at a new stage of them growing up and away from you as they hit secondary school.

In which case try and reassure yourself that you are still their mum, just the mum of soon to be teens, not little kids. Which brings its own joys.

It’s good to do these things in stages, else they’ll be leaving home and you won’t know what hit you.

Have a great time OP

Well if you don’t resolve to have a bloody brilliant time then all this misplaced guilt will be for nothing.

you are going, it’s a holiday. What would you tell them if they were wobbling about a school residential trip? Apply those words to yourself.

Have a fabulous time and keep those calls short and cheerful.

@Ohbuggeritsme @Luredbyapomegranate @MatildaTheCat

Thank you so much for replying. Just reading your words of wisdom has made me consider things from a different perspective. I really am very grateful. I'm absolutely not worried about them, I know they'll be fine, they have busier lives than me! It's my anxiety that I need to keep in check. Thank you again. Xx

Go, have fun!! I’m currently away with DP (part work, part fun) and DD (age 11) is with her grandparents. I spoke to her today and she’s fine.. enjoying my photos and tales of being boiled alive in the sunshine.

Yes, go and enjoy yourself, I'm sure once your there the guilt won't feel as intense. You deserve some time not being a mum. The children will be fine

When I went for a weekend with dh I was crying in the taxi and nearly backed out at the airport I was so distraught to be leaving dc! BUT I'm so glad I didn't! I ended up having a wonderful time and the thought was very much worse than the deed! Go, hopefully you'll experience the same and enjoy yourself despite missing them!

You'll be absolutely fine when you get there. The anticipation is harder IME. You'll have a lovely time and you can stay in touch. The time will fly!

This is all so reassuring, thank you!! I think the anticipation of all this has taken over to the point I can't think straight.

My current plan is to go, to enjoy myself and focus on myself (but obvious phone calls/face times home). I will miss them, but that's ok. The eldest one has already messaged asking what's in duty free?!! Erm, I'll get back to you on that one ( but there's perfume will me miiiine!)