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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this relationship needs to be worked out and quickly!

2 replies

toddlerwoes · 20/06/2022 17:51

Changed name as don't want to be outing on my other threads.
DS is 3 and is currently going through a stage of being really attached to me. He has some social issues anyway as he has only just learnt how to talk and is being assessed for late development etc. It's got to the point where he will only let me do anything for him, he seems to absolutely despise DH. For example he won't let Dh put him to bed, help him on the toilet, get him dressed, even small things like blowing his food for him or opening his drinks bottle.

It's got to the point where he just screams non stop if my DH tries to interact with him in anyway. Which is now making DH tell him off for being naughty because he thinks he's just trying to get his own way. Obviously DH telling him off then just intensifies the issue because Ds then won't go near him because he's telling him off.

I feel like we are stuck in a vicious circle of it at the moment. It's starting to cause an issue between me and DH because we parent completely differently when it comes to this type of issue. I prefer to go and speak to DS and try to explain that he's making daddy sad and that mummy is busy sometimes so daddy has to help him too but my DH then says I'm not backing him up and im letting Ds get his own way.

It's also exhausting because it means im doing everything all the time. We have other DCs too and they are also having to put up with the constant screaming but I don't know what to do about it.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 20/06/2022 18:24

Firstly, it is, as you say, a stage and will pass.

what happens if you are out and DP is the sole carer? I’d suggest some fun time plans with Daddy. Going out for ice cream, swimming ( good for bonding), stories. He will have to put up with resistance but parenting is a long game.

If you Google it you’ll find lots of support. Must feel crap to be the not wanted parent.

toddlerwoes · 20/06/2022 18:31

@MatildaTheCat thanks, I will Google once the kids have gone to bed.
Yes it is really crap for DH and it is starting to get him down. He now doesn't bother as much with Ds which again just makes the situation worse but I can understand why he's doing it.
If I go out it's very rare that DS would be left with DH but on the times he is they do get along and they don't have any of the screaming etc.

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