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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sons turning into his dad

3 replies

Sophielaser11 · 20/06/2022 15:58

I’m am from the Uk but I’ve lived in the US for the past 13 years my son is now 11 and has grown up here. Me and my husband split 4 years ago and my son goes to his dads on the weekend (my ex husband is American). He is a avid trump supporter and has very conservative beliefs and is the typical obnoxious American person people from the uk probably imagine. He never used to be like that but we obviously grew apart when we got older and that was one of the many reasons we separated. Anyway my son sees him 3 times a week and I’ve noticed that my son is kind of turning into him and saying really bad things. He got in trouble with his school for saying something racist, I was mortified because that’s just not the way MY family is and the only way he could be learning these things are from him dad. His dad has confederate flags up in his house, white lives matter flags. He also goes hunting a lot with our son which kinda bothers me. How should I handle this situation it’s his dad so it’s not as easy as to just say “stay away from him “ I just don’t want my son to end up being like his dad and that’s the way it seems to be going. He’s filling his 13 year old head with these thoughts and I’m not sure how to approach the situation. Any tips on what to do.

OP posts:
orwellwasright · 20/06/2022 16:07

That's so difficult, OP. To me, teaching your children to be racist is abuse so I'd try to prevent my child seeing his dad.

I expect it's unlikely to be successful though because presumably your son loves his dad and wants to spend time with him.

You need to keep communication going and try to get your son to discuss what he's hearing so you can counteract it.

What happened when the school pulled him up on his racist comment? Was he apologetic and remorseful or defiant? Does he know why it was wrong?

Sophielaser11 · 20/06/2022 16:10

No he wasn’t remorseful at all this is what got me. I can’t care him endowing up like his dad, I took his phone off him when it happened because that’s the only thing that bothers him.

OP posts:
Sophielaser11 · 20/06/2022 16:11

*ending up.

OP posts:
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