Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for being upset at no Birthday wishes?

16 replies

321user123 · 19/06/2022 23:48

Really the title kind of says it all.
AIBU?
birthdays are a big celebration in my family and small circle and we always wish each other even if say we don’t keep up with each other weekly or monthly we always check in at the big occasions like holidays and Birthdays.

I’m normally that friend that would put everyone’s Bday in the calendar to ensure I don’t forget, wait for 12.01am to send you that cheesy Bday wish (not just “happy birthday “) etc.

and this year it felt like everyone forgot about me.
some of my friends didn’t wish me.. others did wish me eventually but like by mid-day/late afternoon
and then comes my family…

Mom, Dad, stepdad, aunts, cousins, sister and brothers nada…

We did have a bit of a situation a few months ago where I had to enforce some boundaries (really don’t want to get into that too much) to ensure a family member’s safety.
I did expect some lack of communication from one side of the family due to that, but really not by my younger siblings (teenagers, where I was a mother figure due to the age difference 10-15yrs older than my other siblings)…
it’s not that we don’t keep in touch.. we do.. they just… FORGOT.

I’m under 30, but I’m settled, got my house, I’m married, etc
so I’m getting out of the phase of being extremely excited for birthdays but I don’t know… I feel very hurt that it seems no one really cared where I usually make the effort for everyone and I’m that “go to” friend for support, advice, etc.

😔😔😔😔

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 19/06/2022 23:59

Happy birthday from me Flowers

SouperNoodle · 20/06/2022 00:01

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to yooouuu
Happy birthday OP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOUUUU!!
🥳🥳🥳🥳

People are shit.
Happy birthday from me!

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/06/2022 00:03

Happy birthday op

my experience is if you want people to pay attention to your birthday you have to arrange it. It sounds like you are big on it, but a lot of people just aren’t, and the older you get the more that is the case. Obviously this shouldn’t apply to your parents but it sounds like there has been a falling out?

arrange a lunch next year. And this year can you splash some cash on something you want?

WhatTheHeckShrek · 20/06/2022 00:04

Happy birthday!!

I'm sorry your friends and family
didn't make more of an effort.

🌺

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/06/2022 00:08

So you did have some birthday wishes, but not as early as you wanted. Bit bad of your family though. Did your DH do anything nice for you?

Crumpleton · 20/06/2022 00:09

Happy birthday. My partner didn't even get me a card this year so I know how you feel.

321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:20

Omg that’s so sweeet!
Thank you! 🥰

OP posts:
321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:21

Omg this is just so sweet!
thank you for taking the time to do this. 🥹

OP posts:
321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:25

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/06/2022 00:03

Happy birthday op

my experience is if you want people to pay attention to your birthday you have to arrange it. It sounds like you are big on it, but a lot of people just aren’t, and the older you get the more that is the case. Obviously this shouldn’t apply to your parents but it sounds like there has been a falling out?

arrange a lunch next year. And this year can you splash some cash on something you want?

Thank you 😊.

I have to be honest.. the people I’m upset at are REALLY big on birthdays.
it’s just is a thing for our family/friend group.

also these same people wish me every year.. so it’s just … weird.

I think I am getting out of the phase where birthdays are so important, but I still keep on the meaning behind it.

so for example the small gesture of remembering me would count much more than say someone gifting me a pair of Hèrmes sandals! (Not that my friends are in that kind of bracket.. it’s an hyperbole).

OP posts:
Cloud16 · 20/06/2022 00:25

Happy birthday OP! 🎂

321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:26

WhatTheHeckShrek · 20/06/2022 00:04

Happy birthday!!

I'm sorry your friends and family
didn't make more of an effort.

🌺

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
butterflyflutterby123 · 20/06/2022 00:26

Happy birthday OP 🥳🎂

Don't feel like youre being childish or unreasonable, it's totally fine to feel a bit low and preoccupied with this. If it's any consolation, most people, if they forget a birthday, have a heart stoping 'whoops!' moment they remember. It's very much not intentional. Pamper yourself and give yourself some love ❤️❤️

321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:30

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/06/2022 00:08

So you did have some birthday wishes, but not as early as you wanted. Bit bad of your family though. Did your DH do anything nice for you?

Yes I did have them from DH and some friends.

I think that small gestures ( like a cute text for example or remembering me maybe passing by or small things like that) are kind of my “love language” so I felt a bit forgotten as those things don’t cost money just a tiny bit of time.

so it made me feel not valued really…

I feel like I need new friends and family. 😔
(I in general feel like when others need me I’m always there, but when I need others there’s no one there for me 😞 - so possibly this is deeper than “happy birthday”)

OP posts:
321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:31

Crumpleton · 20/06/2022 00:09

Happy birthday. My partner didn't even get me a card this year so I know how you feel.

Oh no… that might be even worse.

Luckily my DH of 10 yrs is an absolute sweetheart.

OP posts:
321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:32

Cloud16 · 20/06/2022 00:25

Happy birthday OP! 🎂

Thank you! 😅

I honestly don’t know what I expected.. but genuinely didn’t expect the wishes!
I thought everyone would just say YABU or YANBU 😅😅😅😅

OP posts:
321user123 · 20/06/2022 00:37

butterflyflutterby123 · 20/06/2022 00:26

Happy birthday OP 🥳🎂

Don't feel like youre being childish or unreasonable, it's totally fine to feel a bit low and preoccupied with this. If it's any consolation, most people, if they forget a birthday, have a heart stoping 'whoops!' moment they remember. It's very much not intentional. Pamper yourself and give yourself some love ❤️❤️

Oh thank you 🥹

I think while responding to another post it clicked why it’s upsetting. I think it’s somewhat deeper than “happy birthday“…
in general I feel like when others need me I’m always there, but when I need others there’s no one there for me in the same way 😞

So it made me feel not very valued really… plus to top it off it’s not just one or two people (as that is inevitable) - it’s like 90% of people that would normally wish me.
So it made me feel not valued really…

I feel like I need new friends and family. 😔

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page