Or should I keep trying to be a better version of myself until retirement.
What does it even mean?
I don't have a degree and I'm in my 50s. The job I have now is secure and there is the possibility of going up a grade but I've been unsuccessful in that attempt three times.
I have some strong friendships but they don't know each other so it's not like I'm part of a strong group. They all have better jobs and are mostly married (Happily) I don't compare myself to them in a way that makes me resentful, far from it. It's just like a constant yardstick.
I took my driving test about 4 times. I eventually passed. It was really hard and expensive. I spent so much money and now I still go everywhere on the bus which according to some mumsnet-ters is a disability to be ashamed of. But I feel like a lot of the normal things that people take for granted are harder for me.
When I try to think of my achievements I'm really struggling and I come up stuff that isn't BAD rather than stuff that is GOOD. Like I'm not a gambler, I'm not in debt, I don't drink, not addicted to anything, not unemployed. The only things I can find to make me proud of myself are the failings I don't have.
I can't think of anything that is really definitely an achievement that I could really lay claim to. But I'm content. I honestly am content. I just keep draining myself trying hard and getting nowhere. I want to just accept my average level of achievement.