Can a leopard change its spots?

[DingDangBang]

My SIL (DH’s sister) has always been as tight as they come. Expecting hospitality but not giving it, implying that we should share certain privileges we have and other general CF behaviour. She’s also always made sure any gifts for DC have been the cheapest thing she can get her hands on.

Except now she seems to have changed her tune. Birthday present for DS was a very smart shirt from a well known brand (she doesn’t do brands). Is this the new normal? Can a leopard change its spots?

No, she probably got it cheap (fake) or from a charity shop

To continue with the cliche - One swallow does not a summer make.

I don't think people do change without a lot of work on their part. There may be many reasons your DS received a nice gift - she's re-gifting / fell off the back of a lorry for peanuts / she wants something big from you.

Don't reciprocate just yet - wait for the other shoe to drop....

Not usually unless her finances have improved recently and she us in a better position to give. Is she is trying to keep in your good books for some upcoming occasion?

It’s prob a regift

It’s not a regift because she got slightly the wrong size so is even going to the lengths of reordering before she has the original back to return.

Cheapness and entitlement seems to be completely ingrained into the DNA of people
i think a lot of things can change but the only time I’ve seen anyone resolve their cheapness was when they got it shamed out of them in a relationship with a normal person who wouldn’t stand for it
and even then, it took several years

(can we have some more examples of her CFness though please!)

Financially I would say, tho wouldn’t know for sure, that she is likely to be more concerned not less considering everything.

Our youngest are similar ages and we did have paid help to get DD into a good routine. The amount of times I heard how tired she was because she didn’t have such help but would love to was astonishing.

Being as slow as she can to get a bill when you have said we are paying separately to try and force you to pay it all to speed the process of leaving up (which is sometimes of the essence with very young DC)

Telling oldest DS that if he wanted her DS to go to her school (which he said as part of a conversation) we (her DB and I) should pay for it

Never having us over but coming over and eating us out of house of home whilst walking around in a very presumptive manner (going through cupboards to find things as opposed to asking)

Always coming over at a time that could be extended to a meal time because they never know when to go/‘the kids want to stay’ etc

No upcoming occasion but our ability to do
more than them is becoming more obvious as time goes on - and the gap will probably get wider

No

Yes they can but its unlikely

Would you say that your household income is considerably higher than hers?
I can understand the school comment if your ds is at private school, that's way beyond the reach of most people, so I can imagine her being embarrassed by your son. I'd assume she was trying to close down that avenue of conversation rather than actually suggesting you pay.