To be feeling a bit demoralised

[Hamnetsdad]

Not sure why - I just feel a bit down and not good about myself. I went for an interview at work this week that I was unsuccessful for. I felt my answers were a bit waffley and now I feel a bit embarrassed as it was an internal interview. I feel a bit useless; like I made a fool of myself. I knocked on the door at my interview time and they were still in there with the last person (you couldn’t see from the outside of the door and there was no sign up). I apologised and closed the door again, but that’s made me feel really silly and awkward.

I have put on weight recently which makes me feel sluggish and uncomfortable. Went away this weekend with DH and it should have been amazing but I feel a bit flat. I’ve been drinking a bit too much so I feel unhealthy.

Feel a bit ground down by responsibilities at home too - 3 dc and pets who shed fur so I have to vaccuum constantly. Dd 16 has autism and is doing well atm but I do have a constant worry in the back of my mind.

There’s nothing major wrong - I’m not really sure exactly what it is - just feel a bit down.

Just bumping.

Hi OP
I'm afraid I haven't got the answer for you but couldn't pass by without giving you a virtual hug! 💐
I am feeling similar with being overweight, drinking too much & feeling unhealthy- you're not alone - maybe we can go on a health kick journey together?
All the best x

Thanks @SomethingWitty44 - definitely think a health kick would make me feel better. When you feel a bit rubbish you want to eat junk which doesn’t help.

OP I can resonate with how you're feeling. Sending hugs. Firstly, the interview, you put yourself out there and should be proud of yourself. You mention worrying about your child with autism, my children have health issues and it triggers anxiety in me and this makes me overthink things, forgive me if I'm wrong but do you think you're having some anxiety? This makes me embarrassed about things that I'd normally laugh off or forget by the next day.

Secondly how you feel about yourself, drinking makes me feel a bit waah, flat and bloated, maybe a few weeks of small changes will help a lot? I've found exercising has helped me a lot lately and when I eat badly I notice my mood is much more lethargic and flat.

Forget about the interview, use it as a learning tool so you won't make the same mistakes next time. Don't beat yourself up about it any longer. Feeling silly and awkward for knocking on the door while the previous interviewee was still in the room - try to laugh at it. It's not your fault.

Things sound a bit chaotic for you, and perhaps you need to take some time out, just for you, and practice mindfulness, practise positive affirmations, be kind to yourself.

I'm a chubby boozer too and my plan is to only drink alcohol on special occasions, soft drinks the rest of the time, start cycling instead of driving to work, it's only 3 miles away, and start eating a healthy diet and watching the calories.

Hope you feel a bit brighter soon.

Just sending you a virtual hug too, OP.
The interview was a chance for an experience.
Onwards and upwards.

I think I do have some anxiety. I’ve had a few very traumatic and difficult years with Dd and things are hopefully getting better now school is finishing, but there was a time when I got phone calls to say she was behaving erratically at school and needed collecting, or was threatening to harm herself. She’s doing so well now but the trauma is still there.

The interview is a silly thing to be upset about really - I just feel foolish.

Drinking definitely makes anxiety worse - I probably need to get out of the glass of wine to relax thing.

I feel a bit like I don’t really want to socialise at work - it’s draining and exhausting. It can make me feel so depleted.

I’ve joined a gym and go swimming and spinning- but probably need to be more consistent.

Stop drinking! I haven't had a drink since Jan 3rd. I start a new job soon with a huge salary uplift, I'm sleeping better, my anxiety is loads better, I've lost weight, have loads more energy - I feel like a new woman. It's been completely transformative.

I will stop drinking- or cut down significantly. I have been away this weekend but that involved a few drinks which has probably increased my anxiety. The gym/sauna and pool at the leisure club is probably a good alternative for me to relax.

How old are you? Peri menopause can increase anxiety and depression

I’m 42 -
I did wonder about peri menopause.

Hi OP. I can relate. Also went for a job interview recently and didn't get it. Thought I was ok about that but after a weekend of drinking too much I don't feel good about myself. Was at a leaving do for a colleague who's going onto better things and just heard another colleague achieved excellent exam results. It's so hard not to feel like I'm stuck in a rut and left behind. I'm in my early 40s, have young DC and feel very ground down by life. Not sure what the solution is but I've definitely been drinking too much recently and really need to cut down. Good luck.

I'm also 42 and wondering about peri!

Yes that ground down by life feeling sounds very familiar.

Just bumping for the morning crowd. Wonder if it’s worth looking at a private menopause clinic.

But if you hadn't knocked on the door, would you have just sat outside wondering if you should go in? It does sound like you have anxiety.

Can your DH not help with the vacuuming? Also a bit of pet hair won't harm the kids. Will make their immune systems stronger.

It sounds as though you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Could you speak to your GP or self-refer for some counselling?

Or could Dh jus look after the kids for a couple of hours each week to give you some 'you' time?

PS: I'm going through peri-menopause at 47. Definitely wouldn't rule it out.

Why private menopause clinic? Just speak to your GP.

Honestly, we've all been there. Don't overthink the interview thing. They won't have spent a single second thinking about it! I promise you that.

The weight thing - the only possible thing to do is to start now and make positive changes. It's hard, but worth it.

I have anxiety so I know how easy it is to overthink things and get in a negative spiral, so hugs to you x

I assumed it would be a battle to get anywhere with my GP. It does sound like it could be anxiety related. I still feel anxious, but it helps to know it’s a feeling and not necessarily reality.

Turns out it isn’t the menopause- I’m pregnant! It’s a shock, but I’m delighted. DH is taking longer to come round!

Congratulations!

Thank you. It explains why I was feeling rubbish - my hormones were all over the place!

😱

Congratulations!!!

How far along are you?