To expect dh to back me up ?

[WhatAmIaSlave]

I seem to spend all my time cleaning and tidying

I just asked ds (16) to please bring down his dirty plates and rubbish and to take the dog for a walk so that I can do the kitchen while someone else takes the dog out.

His reply was ‘no because you’ve asked me to so I’ll do it later’
I asked again - then said to dh ‘can you please speak to him ?’ He said ‘he told you - he will do it at some point today’

I decided that actually although it will now cause dh hassle as he has to look after younger dc as well that I’d just walk out and stay out. They can sort it all out as I’m not prepared to. It’s not equal and I’m either not listened to, nobody backs up my polite requests for others in the house to pull their weight and I’m fed up of it. If the kitchen isn’t done when I get back I’ll wash one plate and cup and some cutlery for myself.

Yanbu, your 16yo sounds damn rude and cheeky. I would leave him to sort himself out for a while. As for your dh, yes he should. My dh almost always backs me up and would give ds hell if he spoke to me so cheekily.

Agree that your son sounds really rude and your DH shouldn’t be allowing him to speak to you like that - he should be backing you. My husband would say something like ‘You heard your mum. Bring your plates down and walk the dog like you’ve been asked to, please. Now, not later.’

Yes he’s extremely rude and it’s a very recent thing that I want stopped before it gets out of hand but dh seems like he doesn’t want the confrontation?? So I’m telling him but he’s getting the message it’s ok because his other parent isn’t saying the same.

Im sure between them they can get it all done tbh they are going to have to maybe they’ll realise then that it’s easier to do what’s been asked

Good for you for going out. Yes he should have backed you up.