to be a bit miffed

[hurtandcross]

DH and I are godparents for friends. They are now planning the Christening of their new baby and have asked our friends to be Godparents and not us. The problem I have is that although they didn't actually come out and ask, they implied throughout her pregnancy that we were going to be Godparents again! I appreciate it is their choice and had they not implied anything I wouldn't be worried. They also haven't told us yet, we heard from the other couple (who are considering whether to take on the role or not)and who were as suprised as us! Have shed tears over this but wonder if I am unreasonable or not - your opinions will be gratefully recieved

Not sure if YABU or not - depends what you mean by them "implying" that you would be godparents again, what did they actually say?

Also, isn't it usual to have a different set of G/parents for the next child? Sorry, not being much help, just trying to get more info til I make my mind up....

It's not unreasonable to feel a bit hurt, but are you sure they implied that you would be godparents? Could you not have read meaning into what they said because you wanted it to be the case?

you are already godparents, i don't think it is usual to be godparents to siblings? just one of their dc is the norm surely?

I think in the great scheme of things there are bigger things to get upset over. I would have thought it quite unusual to have the same godparents for a second child.

I'm sorry you're feeling upset about this, but it's really not worth destabilising a friendship over.

I guess it's the misunderstanding that's more hurtful than not being godparents. TBH in my (limited) experience of godparentage each child has a different set of godparents - can't think of any examples of where someone is godparent to more than one child in the same family. Sorry it has upset you so.

It's human to be a bit hurt so YANBU, but I agree with BethMK - isn't it usual to have different sets of godparents for different children?

yabu

Thanks, the implying was 'you'll have another one to buy bibles for', 'you've done it once so this one won't be any different' etc etc. We are already Godparents to their other 3 children.

Agree with everyone else, it would be unusual to have the same godparents for different siblings.

it would be like putting all your eggs (babies!) in one basket

"You've done it once" - well that doesn't refer to a christening if you've done it 3 times.

TBH, whether or not they accidentally (or otherwise) had you thinking that you would be Godparents again I think you should take it with good grace and let someone else have a turn. It is for them to decide after all.

My dds both have the same set of godparents. I didn't realise it was unusual. Its 2 couples and one single. Seeing as there is only a year gap between them we decided to have a joint christening and I just thought it would be a nightmare having 7 or 8 (maybe more including us and priest!) up at the altar!! But on a practical note I just thought about if 'the worst happened' One set of godparents are to be legal guardians - so obviously I don't want them splitting up. I'm now in a quandry as to whether we should have a new set of godparents for dd2?

In answer to OP yes I would be hurt, but it seems thats only because I was oblivious to the different siblings different godparents rule - after reading this I think you can safely feel a bit happier!!

I'm Godmum to a sister and brother, i find it very rewarding and love them both to bits and pieces! I think in this day and age people dont take being a Godparent nearly seriously enough. Its all the kudos of the christening and the party afterwards, i find that a lot of GP's then drift away. My first son was baptised in hospital and didnt survive sadly, but when my second son was born we chose people to be godparents who we knew would be comitted and stand by in everything, which my ds's have.
My own godparents were fabby too! Its a responsibility to be a godparent and im proud that ive been asked twice!

No wonder so few people get their dc christened if it opens up this hornet's nest.

I agree Elastic, thank god I'm an atheist!

What so you are godparents to 3 of their children but will not be to the 4th? That does sound a bit strange and might put a different light on previous posts.

I always thought it was traditional to have different godparents for each child?

2 men and 1 woman for a boy and 2 women and 1 man for a girl. Or is that just my family?

One of my friends who was a single parent and asked me to be a godparent to her son (which I did even tho I'm an atheist) made it clear that my expected role was to buy him a 'special present' at each birthday

No, yanbu.
you are godparent to their three other children, but not this one? and for them to tell you you'd be buying christening presents for the baby, was unfair. they didnt have to pick you, its their choice, but they shouldnt have dropped all the hints. i didnt know you were meant to pick different gp's. im having one of my friends that is ds's gp again with ds2, but thats because shes a very good friend. however, all other gp's will be different.
fortyplus, i think thats what the church says it must be; at least two of the same sex of the baby, you can have as many as you like, as long as there are two the same sex of the one getting christened. tyr not to worry about it, and certainly dont fall out about it, although i doubt you would anyway.

LOL bethmk

"thank god I'm an athiest"