will we regret moving?

[saladsunday]

Good Morning,

me and partner combined earn around 50k it used to be 60 until dh lost his job.
We live in hayes, and we private rent. We are not struggling too much and my dd manages to go to different clubs etc.

Problem is , landlord is putting the rent up by an extra £300 and we cannot afford that without sacrificing other things. That would mean £1500 on rent for a 2 bed flat.

Dh has been applying for rent to buy schemes all over the UK without my knowledge and he told me a scheme in Wigan accepted him and we have a viewing booked and referencing have passed us! Now he thinks this is amazing as I have my entire family in manchester and the rent is 60 percent cheaper than what we pay now!
But I feel quite annoyed that

1. He did this behind my back
2. I like my life here and my connection to central London and im very settled. I've lived in this area for 14 years.

But dh says we are being priced out and we cannot afford to buy here and Shared ownership is a con and I need to let go of living down here

He thinks we could move there.. save.. buy it after 5 years then buy another house in a nicer area of manchester

I've also researched Wigan all night and if I'm honest, we are Muslim, mixed race family and I don't want my daughter to be the only brown girl in a primary in Leigh. She is starting reception in September!

So I don't know what my aibu but is he crazy or am I crazy???

He absolutely shouldn’t have applied without discussing it with you. You can’t just tell someone they’re moving.

I'm so angry about it tbh!

Oh that’s a tough one OP. I can understand why you are upset he did not discuss this with you first. However that is a huge rent increase and he’s right that you are being priced out. It makes sense to move, particularly nearer to family. I understand your concerns about your child. Would it be worth having a look a local schools to see what you think of them? Maybe there are more mixed race families in the area than you think? I’m in south east Manchester and my children go to school with lots of Asian, black and mixed race children. Could you look at being nearer to Manchester rather than Wigan?

I'd be angry too but try not to let your anger cloud your judgement. This could be a good move for your family. Take some time, allow yourself to be angry then think it through calmly.

Which part of Leigh are you looking at? I used to live near Leigh. Some parts are nice, some not so.

It's in higherfolds?

The reason there because dh said he doesn't want to do private rent again and this is security as we get a 1 year tenancy then if we want to stay a five year tenancy then can buy or move. So that's the reasoning. He said he applied for one in manchester last month but it was already reserved.

I'm thinking I could put my daughter in a school near my mums? Because if we move, I said ideally I see myself in south manchester. And dh response is, we can save for a deposit for next year from the money we save with the rent drop then buy a house in manchester but we have the "security" of cheap rent and they won't kick us out. ????

In that case I'd say be cautious. I'm not overly familiar with Higher Folds but it doesn't have a great reputation. You need to visit it really.

Don't think of it as Wigan though. It is in the borough of Wigan but its quite a long way from Wigan itself.

What would you do about work?

How would it work in terms of jobs for you both? I would consider going and having a look around seeing what you make of the area. I can understand why your husband has done it, I’d be a bit less impressed that he hadn’t bothered to talk to me about it but it could be a blessing. Near family and you might end up being able to buy. I’d go in with an open mind. Visit the area, look at the schools, look at work options.

You’re looking at it like it’s this flat or your current home but it’s really not. You can’t afford the rent increase so you need to look at moving but that doesn’t mean you have to agree to the frankly crazy scheme your partner is suggesting.

Look at Manchester if your family is there and you’d like to move to that area. A private rental there will be cheaper than the equivalent in London. Then you can save and buy in the area you rent in with less family upheaval. Or look at moving further out in London.

If you both wish to spend the rest of your lives or many more years together he'll do well to understand that he can't make life changing or major decisions without your input; that's if he cares and values your input and well being.

You need to discuss this fundamental ideology with him.