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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for a hand hold. We lost our home.

154 replies

notgreatthanks · 19/06/2022 06:26

We have had a house fire. We weren't there and are all ok. We have lost the majority of our belongings, we were visiting family so had a suitcase of clothes/toiletries . We are staying there until accommodation can be sorted in our home town. It was upstairs so some of down stairs may be salvageable although some has smoke damage but need to wait till it's been assessed . It's just unreal we have gone from having normal everyday lives to losing our home within a few hours. We are lucky to have family support and that we are all ok but all our stuff is gone (memories etc. we don't know if it will all be covered on insurance yet and there's stuff that's irreplaceable. Nothing anyone can do just want to share.

OP posts:
Mally100 · 19/06/2022 08:49

I'm so sorry and I can't imagine how devastating it is. I'm glad you all are safe. X

Luredbyapomegranate · 19/06/2022 08:50

Jesus - so sorry OP - what an awful thing to happen.

My only practical thing is to take the time to do a really thorough inventory of everything you've lost - there's far more stuff than you think and it really adds up. Also pick somewhere nice to rent because you could easily be there for a year.

Thank god you weren't in.

lljkk · 19/06/2022 09:08

Sorry to hear this. I have relatives who had to flee their home from a wildfire about 5 years ago. They recovered almost nothing afterwards.

In some ways it was ... not a good thing but it made them all focus in life on what mattered to them. 2 young ones moved to their dream city. Middle-aged one still lives with her elderly mother but now in a better area where she could manage to buy.

Trogbog · 19/06/2022 09:11
Flowers
CallOnMe · 19/06/2022 09:15

I’m sorry to hear this, I’m so glad no one was hurt.

Remember that materials things can be replaced - lives can’t.

How are you financially?
Can you afford to buy immediate things that you need?
If you’re struggling remember to check Freecycle, gumtree, Facebook etc for free or cheap clothes and dishes etc.

Will the council find you some accommodation for now?

OssomMummy1 · 19/06/2022 09:16

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This post was deleted as it was posted on the wrong thread.

WheelofLife · 19/06/2022 09:16

I cannot imagine how awful this is. I am so so sorry. I’m in NSW and faced the prospect of having our house flooded recently so packed up all our valuables. The thought of losing everything is devastating. Big hugs x

SpringSunshine09 · 19/06/2022 09:17

I'm so sorry, sending huge hugs your way. I really hope the insurance process is smooth and that you are able to find some normality soon. Xoxox

CanaryShoulderedThorn · 19/06/2022 09:19

Thinking of you OP. I have heard the Red Cross have a specialist team that provide practical help, legal advice etc post house fires. Not sure if that might be useful to you.

iamjustlurking · 19/06/2022 09:21

Different circumstances but I lost everything all my photo albums, childhood keepsakes and although I still wish I had them all. I try to tell myself they are just things, it was just bricks and mortar snd material things.
I have my children and I have my memories.
Although that does not take away the shock and distress you are no doubt feeling

BellaVita · 19/06/2022 09:26

This reply has been deleted

This post was deleted as it was posted on the wrong thread.

I think you have posted on the wrong thread.

Seahorse87 · 19/06/2022 09:29

Massive hugs! This happened to my family when I was a teenager, on Boxing Day and it not so accidental circumstances 🙁. It’s tramautic but what you will find is that family, friends and neighbours will rally round and you will see how you will manage without the possessions (I still miss some things two decades on) but that people are far more important! I hope you are overwhelmed by their kindness the way we were!! Stay strong and know that one day it will be just a slightly sad memory!

ABBAsnumberonefan · 19/06/2022 09:39

So sorry OP Flowers

Awumminnscotland · 19/06/2022 09:45

Hi Op, I'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. The shock will be awful.
This happened to us in the 80s when I was 13. We were home off school sick but got out. Standing there looking at our home disintegrating was such a strange experience and if course at 13 alot of my worries were immediate, about me and the worry of where we would go and how embarrassing to be standing in the street for all to see our life falling apart, we were a very private family. But my mum and dad just kept saying all the stuff doesn't matter, we are all alive and that's the end of it, we'll be OK because we're alive. Which is of course the truth and absolutely the right thing.
But of course it does matter to some extent. None of our possessions were new or valuable but they were our memories. It was before the Internet and cameras on phones so we lost countless photos and my parents history in the attic.
The peocess of recovery from this is long and can be like bereavement. In the immediate future taken up with practicalities in the immediate future to secure your home for the long term. Emotionally it ts a longer shock I think as you realise how such big change has been forced upon you.
Take each day as it comes. It is great no one was at home but its a traumatic life change. Let yourself feel how you feel. It's difficult because you know you're happy you're all unscathed but it's still awful.
Sorry I don't have more practical advice. We were out of our home along time and I think that was a great disruption to our lives as children that was never really acknowledged. We did enjoy being able to pick things and colours etc for our new bedrooms on the refurbishment which we would never have had before the fire. Always a silver lining!
Take care of yourself. Sorry for long post. Xx

TheDogsMother · 19/06/2022 09:50

I'm so sorry OP. Huge hugs to you and your family and I'm so glad you weren't there at the time. I hope the insurers are proactive and help you get through this as smoothly as it can be Flowers

Bambaleyo · 19/06/2022 09:52

This isn’t a very sad to hear. 🤝
The main thing is that you are all ok. My friend had a house fire at night when she was younger and lost both of her brothers so it was lucky none of you were home in bed.
With regards to the things you’ve lost, I’m guessing the hardest thing to have lost is photos.
Can you ask friends and family members to dig out photos they may have so you can take copies? I know it’s not the same.

I wish you all the best. 💐

Ihaveaskedyouthrice · 19/06/2022 09:55

I'm so sorry to hear this, what a shock. Similar happened to a friend a few years ago and she said the best thing they did was hire their own loss adjuster who then did all the liaising with the insurance company. I'm not in the UK so might not apply over there but may be something to look into.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/06/2022 10:06

This happened to me. It’s stressful and horrible but you will be OK. We had to live in rented for 6 months whilst it was repaired. Many sympathies

scotscorner · 19/06/2022 10:14

I’m really sorry this happened to you. Nothing can take away from the shock and disruption you must be dealing with right now.

My parents had a major house fire about a year before I was born and lost most of their belongings (also were away visiting family so had a suitcase of belongings!). I hope you find, as they did, that people are incredibly kind in this situation and especially if you have DC - my brother was about 12 and was gifted so many toys and cloths by neighbours. They rebuilt a house on the same spot fully covered by insurance and it was a much nicer design as my parents were closely involved in the rebuild - I hope you have some fortunate silver linings too. Share your story and look for charities who might support you - you might be surprised at the help you get.

On a psychological note, no one would wish for this but there is a resilience that comes from losing your material possessions and realising: you can survive and start again. (Read the short poem IF by Rudyard Kipling, I hope you find it gives you some strength).

Wishing you the best and lots of support.

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 19/06/2022 10:19

Big positive, you weren’t there. No one got hurt and things can be replaced. I am sure family and friends will rally round if the insurance doesn’t pay out.

I don't know, I'm some ways it would have been better if they had been at home. They might have been able to put the fire out, call the FB earlier, or at least saved some precious items.

user1471538283 · 19/06/2022 10:26

I'm so sorry and I'm glad you are all physically okay.

Losing photographs must be devastating. Once the practicalities are sorted please take some time to recover.

Caramac555 · 19/06/2022 10:27

Hi, sending hugs. This happened in our family too, right down to it being an electrical fault upstairs. Smoke alarm was the first warning anything was wrong.

I'm afraid you're in it for the long haul, 9 months before all repairs and cleaning were completed and the house was habitable again. The insurance company will send specialist cleaners to help clear the house and salvage what's not a write off.

It was a stressful time, but you will get there.

FlyingUnicornWings · 19/06/2022 10:33

We had a house fire, too. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it truly is very stressful.
min terms of insurance, it depend who you are with.

We are with Admiral, and within 24 hours of calling to let them know, our assessor called us. 3 days later they sent an independent company to us to assess the damage. They then firstly organised a cleaner (we had minimal fire damage, but top to bottom smoke damage), and accommodation for us while the house was being cleaned/stripped of carpets/floors etc. They took away all soft furnishing to clean, too.

They then took an inventory of the contents we lost to the fire and smoke damage. Anything that couldn’t be accounted for because it was destroyed was also added to the list. They took all the rubbish and destroyed/damaged goods to be disposed of. We were then sent the spreadsheet over to double check and put prices on the items. Our assessor at Admiral flagged up a few big things and needed receipts which we were able to provide as mostly all email receipts. They then took a percentage for wear and tear and we settled on that and 5 days later paid a lump sum into our bank.

In terms of re-building where the fire damage was, and decorating, carpets & floors replaced, we had to get 3 quotes for each. They then told us who we could go with and paid the money straight into our banks for that quote.

Timescales, the fire was on Christmas Day, cleaning was done and completed by 12th Jan. Inventory took a further ten days, another two weeks on top for the admin of checking, receipts etc. Quotes were given by mid-Feb and house was sparkling and new by the end of April.

One thing I will say is things don’t happen as quickly as you’d think/like.

Also, once our place was cleaned it was deemed habitable so we had to move back in and avoid fire damaged room, live with black walls, no carpet etc etc until it was all replaced.

It really was the most stressful time, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m really thinking of you and if you have any questions, please ask.

AmandaHoldensLips · 19/06/2022 11:01

We had a devastating flood. The insurance assessor came out the following morning and was very knowledgeable and helpful. We also had a dedicated person from the insurance company to assist with our claim. You can really take your time and know that there's no rush to put in a claim, as your claim will remain open and "live" until it is all sorted.

Our insurers would have provided tradespeople, but I asked if I could appoint my own, and they were fine with that. All costs were covered, and we received a series of payments depending on what stage we were at and what we needed at that point.

6 months later we'd had some seriously fantastic redecorating done which we'd probably never have got around to was it not for the flood, and the house looked better than ever!

Gardenproud · 19/06/2022 11:02

Have had a similar experience, message me if it will help. Sending love..

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