Worry too much

[curlymom]

I’ve noticed people telling me I worry too much. I think I do worry but what is too much? I had a Dinner party tonight and a friend mentioned I was too worried about the guests. I was making sure everyone had food and drink etc. my adult son ten told me I was worried later and I should stop worrying. AIBU? I feel as though I am now worried about being worried. Shall I just be me? I mean how can I just stop worrying? Confused

What were you worrying about when your son told you to stop worrying?

Do you think you're generally an anxious person? A people pleaser? Perfectionist?

Do worries keep you awake or disturb your peace of mind, get you down?

Do you catastrophise?

I don't worry so much as I talk myself through things. DH used to say 'stop worrying' and I would say 'I'm not, I'm just thinking about it' and I am quite slow at processing so it helps me to talk it 'to' someone iykwim.

Are you always worried? Or are you just speaking normal thoughts?

Hi there …. Hope your ok. People can make passing comments and not realise the impact it leaves. Sometimes people say about worrying that to support people to relax and enjoy them selves, could be that people just wanted you to have a good night. Hope you enjoyed parts of it, sure it’s would have been lots of prep…. Have a good nights kip and “ worry about it tommorow “ !

It sounds like you're worrying at people. I don't like that because I'm chill and want to remain so!

Yes I agree.

My absolutely lovely ex MIL constantly worried and fussed over everyone and it made people feel uncomfortable, because we just wanted her to relax and enjoy the dinner she'd cooked.

Christmas was peak worry! But that's just her, she's 85 now and still exactly the same.

There might not be much you can do about it OP but I'm sure it's meant out of love when people tell you to relax and stop worrying.

Hi yes thanks. I think the problem is I say what I feel so at dinner I was asking if anyone needed a drink, more food etc which I thought was what a good host should do. Then I was clearing away and people were telling me to leave it so I could sit down. But that would mean do it later. No win situation. Maybe I won’t host again in a hurry!