To be annoyed with SIL for saying baby's middle name is awful

[Chees1]

My SIL has just met my 3 month old son for the first time and just blurted out that his middle name is awful in her words 'ugly'. She didn't say it directly to me but was addressing her 10 year old son but it was aimed at me. My son has an African name meaning 'blessing' and its a unisex name.
Its not the first time she's said awful things and has gone out of her way to undermine me as a mother at times and I've always been cordial and never said anything to her but I've mentioned it to my husband. What annoyed me the most was that my husband was present during the conversation and didn't say anything. His other sister tried to tell her sister (the one in question) that it didn't matter about his name and tried to make light of the situation. In all honesty, I'm annoyed at the situation and at myself for letting myself get worked up about this because that's how she's always been. One moment she's as nice as pie and the next she's completely changed. She's a wonderful loving aunt to my DS (1st born) and my son adores her. I don't want to say something to her (because knowing me I probably would say something that I'll regret) so I just take it.
AIBU to be annoyed with my husband for not saying something?

Yeah, that's really rude. I would be saying something, like if you don't like it that's up to you, but it is so rude to comment like that- what were you hoping to gain?

As for your husband, maybe he didn't know what to say, maybe he didn't care what she thinks, maybe he chose to ignore- talk to him. Be on the same side before you say anything to her, the rude little shit.

Tell her that her name means Awful Bitch in your opinion..

Ha ha ha, @Littlebirdyouaresosweet that's a great comeback!

Sorry, I need to know the name! It was your dh's fight to be fair as you've, by the sound of it, let her get away with being rude before.

I would personally ask her directly and say dh had told me. That's the only way you can get over this. Go for it!

Is it Barack?

She shouldn't have said it in your hearing, or to her 10 year old son.

I can't help wondering what the name was, and whether your family or your husband's family come from Africa?

YANBU. Is your son African or mixed heritage? If you don’t nip this in the bud, she will continue to make your son feel awful. This is not good for his self/esteem.

Well you can stew over it or you can say "oh SIL you are such a rude twat. Haven't you yet learned that every stupid thing that goes through your head doesn't have to come out of your lips." pause for a beat "oops, did i say that out loud?"

What an awful message to teach her 10 year old she's going to create a bully. You should have felt free to challenge her but I understand why you didn't. Your DH though has no excuse.

My SIL's boys have truly appalling names. Grown up now. Can't put them because it would be outing. Everyone who has ever heard them has taken a deep breath. I have never said a word. MIL however once started to really take the mickey out of the name given to the dd of one of DH's cousins. Think something like Cordelia. At that I could not manage to keep it zipped and did say "when your dd's children are called x and y, I don't think you are in a position to laugh at anyone else's name". Even FIL gave her a hard stare over the top of his paper.

MNet special op "did you mean to be so rude"? People are bitches.

Brilliant! Made me smile that one did!