AIBU to plan to stay home today?

[MeltorFreeze]

Heatwave forecast where we are with temps reaching 37. DH is calling DD,DS and me troglodytes.

He left this morning for a two hour bike ride. I shooed the DC into the garden for a while and called them in at 1130. I've said they can go out again when the shade hits it. I haven't planned to go out anywhere e.g. cycle and swim or go to the local pool. It is apparently idiocy not to plan either to go out early in the morning or to go to water today.

I haven't planned any of this because DS is recovering from a broken bone, is not allowed to cycle or swim. If we went to the pool, he wouldn't be able to go in the water anyway. And he sure as hell can't cycle there. DD has sporting activities every day after school so is hardly a layabout. DS is the lazier of the two and hasn't done a lot of sport over the past few weeks because, well, he has a to wear a brace due to broken bone.

So, should I have planned something?

Why hasn't your dh planned to do something with his children?

When he comes back from his 2 hour bike ride tell him to take them out.

No, it’s your life, you can do what you want.

Why is your partner being unpleasant? Why are you taking any notice of him? And most importantly is he normally unpleasant / unaware of what’s going on in his family?? If so, you have bigger problems.

You can't do whatever you want. You've been left with the DC meanwhile he fucks off on a bike ride jolly. Why couldn't he have taken them out?!

If he wanted the kids to do something why would he not plan it? He could have skipped his bike ride to take them out first thing.

I will be staying home and sitting in the garden today. If the kids want to do something that’s fine, but I won’t be forcing them. It’s hot and tiring and your dh sounds like a complete knob if I’m honest.

No, your DH is an arse. He’s just saying this to make himself look/ feel superior. What exactly does he suggest for a child who can’t swim in 30 plus degree heat? And if he can think of a suitable activity why the feck hasn’t he planned it himself? It must be exhausting living with someone so intent on virtue signalling but, apparently, useless at actually thinking of others.

What is this obsession with having to get out and do something every hour of the day?

oh Christ! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE 😂The heat has got into me already!

Tell him to take them out instead of going out for hours on the bike.

We went to the park this morning, rest of the day at home in the garden.

Couldn't think of anything worse than soft play, swimming etc in this heat.

Enjoy the garden, all good.

Also, if he actually used the word troglodytes divorce him

I would say it’s idiocy to take a child with a broken leg to a pool on a hot day when they can’t go in! That’s just mean.

He's an arse who needs to plan something for HIS children

This is a really weird post. If your husband wanted the kids to be something why hasn't he planned something then?

take a child with a broken leg to a pool on a hot day when they can’t go in! That’s just mean.
that's what I think. I would love to be in the pool right now but it's not fair on DS.
Couldn't think of anything worse than soft play, lol I'm not allowed to take them to soft play. Too unhygienic!

He’s just saying this to make himself look/ feel superior.
i get this impression too right now!

Why can't he take them out instead of disappearing off on a bike ride?

So why hasn't he made any plans with them? Why is it only your job?

Go see a film? Usually nice and air-conditioned.

@MeltorFreeze

What do you mean you're not allowed to take them to soft play?

Youve not answered why he's not made plans with them or what you're doing with your child free time when he gets back?

After going out in the scorching heat yesterday 3 times for a long period of time, im sick today...everybody loves the sun but it's not that great for me today...so no YANBU

Do what you want. It's not idiocy.

It might be idiocy to stay married to someone who is assessing your Saturday like he is an OFSTED inspector though. What a dick.

We used to have a saying growing up in Australia that only mad dogs and Englishmen went out in the midday sun. (Not very polite, obviously.)

By your post your husband may not be English but the point still stands, in very hot weather, indoors is a sensible place to be.

This is what happens when we fall into shoulds and musts. They are all expectations placed on ourselves which add pressure to our lives. If you WANT to do something then do it. If you don't, don't.

Your dh actually sounds mean. To you and to his children.

I get the impression, particularly from your soft-play comment, that you and your DH have, longstanding, differing views on parenting.

Tip of the iceberg thread??? Is it usual for him to impart his wisdom on suitable / acceptable family activities then delegate it & disappear off?

Hope you enjoy your day doing whatever you decided to do.

Probably not. But isn't it your choice? Why ask here? You don't have to jchmify your decisions on if you go out or not.

YABU thinking you have to do something every waking minute