He's talking about suicide. Should I be worried?

[WotTheDickens]

My godson aged 22 loves music and plays several instruments. He has recently uploaded some songs he has written and recorded onto You Tube. The lyrics are a bit vague but they're all along the lines of: life is meaningless and it's all a dream, death is going to be great, betrayal, the pain of life is too much to bear etc.

I have messaged him (he lives in another country) to ask if he's ok and if there's anything I can do to help (money, someone to talk to etc.) but he hasn't replied.

Should I be worried? All I could really do is inform his parents — he still lives at home and has good relationships with them AFAIK — but on the other hand it could just be delayed teenage angst or perhaps he's just being "artistic"… He has an older brother that he gets along very well with but he also lives in a different country.

He has always been into this "dark" style of heavy rock music (the kind where the singing sounds more like gutteral noises) but I've never heard him express such sentiments before. Several of his long-term friends have made "woah, cool" ; "love it bruh" remarks and the like in the comments section.

I have no children so please tell me I'm worrying needlessly.

You are right to be worried. I would gently bring this to his parents attention. No harm can come from everyone checking if he is ok.

Do not ignore please

Ahh ok! I was really hoping this was "normal" for young men. He posted the link to his music on Instagram and neither of his parents are "friends" so I feel like I'm betraying a confidence!

@Mally100 What would be a gentle way to raise it do you think?

I would bring it into conversation they you like his music but found the lyrics a bit dark and see what his parents say.

i would contact his parents and compliment his music and say the lyrics might just be poetic but you felt it would be remiss not to check he is ok.

Can you forward the links to the parents by email? These are publicly visible videos so it’s entirely possible that his parents would see them and naturally speak to him about it. It doesn’t have to be obvious that you got involved (not that you need to hide your concern for him!). I think you’re right to follow up on this, and I hope it’s just artistic angst.

Well, he could just be lyrically mimicking the style of music he's influenced by, or it could be a very sincere outlet for how he's really feeling.

In any case, I think it's best to let his parents know.

I will let them know. Thanks for all the suggestions. He is a lovely and talented young man with a lot going for him… I just hope he knows that!

I would mention something so it's on their radar. My son is in an artistic profession and an adult now but remember when he was about 13 reading comments in his homework diary such as 'death is the only answer' ' drowning in a sea of despair' etc etc along with some very worrying drawings. I rang his form tutor ( who must have also seen the comments), who was also head of pastoral care, and he was so dismissive and was very much, ' that's teenage boys for you'!

Obviously very concerned about the response and had already found tutor to be an unempathetic oddball so why he was anything to do with pastoral care I don't know. Had a conversation with son who was equally dismissive and was annoyed I was 'making something out of nothing'.

Hopefully there's nothing in it and it's just artistic angst but it really shouldn't be ignored.

There is a StayAlive app which is very good at helping people help themselves, in theory. Send him a link and he can have a look and there are a lot of sections where you can wrtie down things and photos reasons for keeping going etc, without sounding too negative. but do not ignore this. You are right to be concerend.
But keep a close watch and let his family know your concerns

Definitely do something to alert his parents. And talk to him as well. It is a vulnerable age, and it is okay to ask people if they feel suicidal and to talk about it if they have indicated it in some way. You are not going to cause someone to attempt suicide by talking about it so don't worry. And as youngsters live in the moment, if the moment seems to be bleak it can feel all-encompassing and that nothing will ever change then suicide can feel like the answer.

So he replied to me, but very flippantly, and avoided answering thequestion...

I think you should just mention your concern to his parents. Sometimes they might listen to it and have complete blinkers on as to what someone else might see. As pp said, you won't cause him any harm but might alert people around him to it.
His reply also sounds worrying.

Just get in touch with his parents, tell them you're concerned he might be in a dark place due to his lyrics. That equally it might be just emulating someone else but thought it best to give them a heads up anyway.

There's no harm in it I wouldn't have thought.

Please talk to his parents, angst isn't that unusual and it may be nothing but...
I live every day wishing there had been some sign of what was happening in my sons head.

I would ring the amazing charity Papyrus, they help with reducing suicide risk in the under 25s and will advise you on what to do.

Thanks all! I will talk to his parents this evening.