Is it ever worth calling out shitty behaviour?

[Moonstars20]

in this case, it’s an ex partner who was really shitty towards me. Lots of playing the victim while actually being in the wrong, and generally being really harmful and unkind, while remaining quite ignorant that anything he did was wrong.

I didn’t bother calling any of it out properly because I didn’t want to ‘rock the boat’ and I felt in love. We separated, he got back in touch a few weeks ago and we started speaking again, I still care for him and have feelings but I feel quite resentful about never calling out his behaviour before.

He’s picked up on me acting a bit ‘off’ and I’m tempted to tell him exactly why, partly to get it off my chest and partly because I know we won’t progress if I’m carrying around these negative feelings.

so, WIBU to be honest and tell him how harmful his behaviour was? I won’t have any expectations on his response/lack of response.

Why are your standards so low? Nothing in your post explains why you’re entertaining re-connecting with someone who treated you like that.

In this situation, no. The second you say anything that he perceives as an "attack" he will ghost you and/or call you difficult, causing an argument etc.

But by being friendly you are letting him off the hook and saying his behaviour was OK. So you need to cut all contact and move on. Set those boundaries in a way that can't be twisted back on you.

I voted YABU because why would you want to get back with someone that treat you like that????? You do know he's just going to do it again don't you. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Please stop entertaining him! He will repeat the behaviours he showed and you probably know this. Move on and find someone who won't treat you like rubbish!

No sympathy for you. You know exactly what he's like yet with him again? Look at yourself first.

Tell him. It might dawn in him and encourage some real change.

Won’t know until you try

If it doesn’t have the desired effect find yourself someone new

Why do you want this arsehole back in your life?

Yes you should prior to then going NC. Might just spare another woman the same treatment, you can but hope. You may feel better for doing so.