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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was a bit unfair?

15 replies

Mw19 · 17/06/2022 21:51

So today was my 8th working day in a new role (totally new company and I'm the 3rd recruit in as many months).

My first 4 days last week were VERY disjointed and went totally off schedule. (but the company is young and small - around 11 employees in total).

I didn't expect much of the induction but on the other hand I didn't expect to be sat there being ignored (only 3 employees in the office as all others wfh). My own role will mainly be wfh so I was a little baffled as to why I'd been brought all the way to London to be sat there doing nothing. So I took initiative to look through content on shared folders and do my own swotting up on product knowledge etc.

Yesterday I arrived at the London office again and wasn't even greeted by the employees when I walked in (one of whom is my line manager). They didn't look up from their screens and so again, I just started trying to keep busy. Eventually they gave me something to do but it always feels like it's in their own time.

My grandad is poorly and has been readmitted to hospital as of yesterday so my aunt sent me some messages to tell me and keep me updated. Since I wasn't very busy I replied of course. I was on my phone for approx 60-120 seconds.

Today, again, walked into the office and no one greeted me. The schedule for the day was suggested and my line manager said she wanted to have a catch up with me at some point. I said that's great. She then said actually let's do it now.

She took me to her office and asked how I was getting on/finding things etc and I said it was fine/i was enjoying it etc. She then went on to basically give me feedback (that I hadn't asked for) and said that 1) I'd made a mistake with something I said to a customer last week (they sprung a customer visit on me last minute which wasn't part of my original induction schedule) and 2) to please not use my personal phone in office time. I swiftly took the opportunity to say oh well actually my grandad is really poorly so it was about that and it's useful that you know now because I'll likely have a funeral to attend soon. But on reflection it's annoyed me because they've literally had me sat twiddling my thumbs and more or less ignoring my existence and also every one else uses their personal phone so I feel like it's a "do as I say and not as I do" situation...!???

It's hard enough being new to a company as it is never mind one which is small and close and clicky but to be picked up on something so small is annoying. If she thought I was being rude then I could say the same about them?

The "mistake" I made was literally a piece of incorrect info and neither here nor there. Completely rectified. But the info got back to her super quick so it was 1 of 2 colleagues that told her. I just feel completely stalked and judged by people and it's only my 2nd week?

This 121 was completely sprung on me with no time to prepare which also annoys me on reflection. It didn't give me chance to reflect and prepare anything that I wanted to say.

Following the meeting I had to go straight back into the office with everyone with a smile on my face all the while feeling a bit insecure, judged, on the back foot, and distracted by the fact I have a poorly grandad and just want to get on a train and go back home.

ERGH.

AIBU or is starting a new job always this hard at first? A lack of things to do. Totally reliant on other people. And an outsider who's being judged. That's how I feel.

OP posts:
SandyWedges · 17/06/2022 21:55

I would have explained the situation with the phone but also that you assumed it was acceptable as everyone else was doing it.

anniegun · 17/06/2022 21:59

Pretty poor start tbh. I would not expect a new started to be treated like this. Your line manager should be stepping up to make you feel welcome. I might decide to look elsewhere

LoudingVoice · 17/06/2022 22:05

Why on earth did you tell her you were enjoying it and everything was fine when it clearly isn’t?

You need to start being honest with them about this job if it’s not working for you.

AgathaBrazen · 17/06/2022 22:13

Your line manager sounds like a terrible manager.

Ragwort · 17/06/2022 22:16

Sounds really poorly structured with no proper induction programme... my DH started a new role and it was shocking, no introductions, no training, IT that didn't work, totally ignored ... it was actually a very senior well paid job but appalling way to treat someone ... he went on to make the most of it and got some really good results for the company (sales) but had no hesitation in leaving after less than two years.

I just don't understand how companies can treat new employees so badly - it costs so much to recruit new people and takes time for them to become 'productive' ... so why waste it? Hmm.

Theres plenty of jobs around at the moment ... do you really want to stay there?

Mw19 · 17/06/2022 22:16

I think I said everything was fine because I was so on the back foot about the meeting as it was and also I'm in "make a good impression" mode so I don't want to make a fuss or rock the boat.

I've took a massive gamble with this job so I want to do everything I can to make it work.

If the phone thing was an observation she's made then fair enough and that's her opinion and that's fine. But if someone else has mentioned it then that makes me feel thrown under a bus and like it's not fair because everyone else is too and also if you're going to ignore me and not give me anything to do then what's the problem?

I could really do without them criticising me already. It's my 2nd week and my grandad is poorly ergh

OP posts:
easyday · 17/06/2022 22:25

Ask for a meeting. Say that on reflection you need to have your responsibilities defined as you frequently feel that you are not being 'utilised to your potential'. (Rather than say that you don't have anything to do).
Your manager is responsible for you and that you are doing your job. But if they haven't given you a job to do? Then you are going to start looking for another pretty quickly
This is not the way it should go. Either you need some training (is that why you are in the office)? Or you need your tasks clearly explained so you can get on with it.

Mw19 · 17/06/2022 22:25

Yep I've had that too. My phone doesn't work and my laptop wasn't right either (which I've since sorted myself)..My notice period was 6 weeks yet nothing was ready which baffles me too.

As it stands I have nothing in the diary for Monday and they haven't given me anything to do (I'll be at home). No idea how to approach this. I can probably keep myself busy for a couple of hours..... I'll have to ask for a call with my manager first thing for a plan of the day and maybe I bring today up with her whilst I'm at it? I don't know.

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 17/06/2022 22:27

Firstly, sorry to read about your grandad💐

Secondly, Is there a HR department? As it generally falls under a HR/People Team that organise a corporate induction. Yours just seemed totally unstructured.

She took me to her office and asked how I was getting on/finding things etc and I said it was fine/i was enjoying it etc

But this is where you’ve gone wrong … you were clearly not fine or enjoying it. Your line manager should be frequently checking if you’re okay with what you’re doing but you didn’t speak up. You sat twiddling your thumbs looking busy waiting.

If it’s in your contract that you are not to use personal phones then you shouldn’t have used it. You should have made your line manager aware (in private) that you had something personal going on with family and if it would be okay to check messages. Or just check messages during your break/when going to the toilet. Sat at your desk checking your phone does look bad I’m afraid.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/06/2022 22:28

I'd assume that'll be why you're #3 in as many months - not because the company is getting larger, but because #1 and #2 lasted about a fortnight before saying 'fuck this' and getting a better job.

HSKAT · 17/06/2022 22:30

I understand you saying everything has been fine.
But now I think you need to bring it up.
It's a shitty start.
You need to know your tasks, what's expected daily, weekly and monthly.
If anything, your manager should be checking in afew times a day making sure you've got stuff to do, you know what your doing etc.
How quick did the first two leave? This could honestly be the reason why.

Mw19 · 17/06/2022 22:31

Yeah I was in the office for training. The schedule on paper was pretty good/satisfactory. Yet it wasn't followed.

I was literally sat there like what do you expect me to do? As they all typed away at emails and made calls. I understand answering the phone or tieing up loose ends but actively making calls when I'm sat there doing sod all?

I found a product info/training video in a shared folder and pressed play. I was quickly directed to some headphones "in a drawer somewhere" to which I replied oh actually I've got my own but your laptop won't connect to them. In the end I asked someone if they could help me connect my Earphones because no one offered up any alternatives.

OP posts:
Notanotherwindow · 17/06/2022 22:33

I had a job like this once and my only regret was not telling them to shove it sooner, before they destroyed my self esteem.

Mw19 · 17/06/2022 22:37

If it’s in your contract that you are not to use personal phones then you shouldn’t have used it. You should have made your line manager aware (in private) that you had something personal going on with family and if it would be okay to check messages. Or just check messages during your break/when going to the toilet. Sat at your desk checking your phone does look bad I’m afraid.

Thanks, I appreciat the honesty because if it came across as rude I totally get it. The information that he'd been readmitted to hospital was on that message there and then so I picked up my phone, txt her back to say I'd call her later, and that was it. I didn't have chance to tell her because then I carried on what I was doing and she left for home very shortly after anyway. Plus tbh I didn't really want to tell her yet anyway as I'm quite a private person and don't want a stranger knowing my business just yet. Now she knows anyway when I wasn't ready to say anything. I nearly started crying when I told her as I had to then tell her some back story so that's great.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 17/06/2022 22:40

Notanotherwindow · 17/06/2022 22:33

I had a job like this once and my only regret was not telling them to shove it sooner, before they destroyed my self esteem.

Me too. I knew after a week it was terrible but stuck it out for 8 awful months.

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