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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you get attached to the kids you work with

49 replies

loopshot · 17/06/2022 21:49

Posted in nurseries and got no replies so thought I'd give it a go here.

It's not an AIBU just really interested If people do..
Get attached to the kids they work with in nurseries and preschools. My DD is really attached to her key worker and calls her "her best friend" which I think is lovely. Hope she's not to upset when she leaves and never sees her again in September.

So was wondering do nursery/preschool or any types of teacher get attached and miss the kids they work with?

OP posts:
Extratoebeans · 17/06/2022 22:08

Yes for sure! Its always sad if you see them and they don't remember you. We talk about our previous children, I personally don't think I could forget any of them.

I'm sure your daughters key worker will remember her 😊

Fredthefrog · 17/06/2022 22:14

As a teacher I remember all the children I taught. I have my class photos and treasure them. If Im lucky enough o see pupils or parents it really pleases me to hear how they are doing.

siriusblackcat · 17/06/2022 22:17

Yes it's impossible not too, we spend so much time with them.

Merryoldgoat · 17/06/2022 22:21

My son’s keyworker wells up when she talks about my son. She wants to stay with him but he’s moving into an ARP so will get a new one and I think he’ll be heartbroken.

I don’t think a connection like that can be one sided.

karmakameleon · 17/06/2022 22:22

DS3’s reception teacher is clearly very attached to him. We were talking about him moving up to Y1 today and I said something along the lines of “Of course he’ll still see you” and I thought she was going to cry when she explained that she’d probably be moved to the other site (split site school) and she might not 😥

InChocolateWeTrust · 17/06/2022 22:31

Of course they do!

It's part of the reason I chose a childminder for childcare. I didnt want my child to have those lovely bonds at nursery and it just end instantly on starting school, I think it must be quite tough for children to manage emotionally.

With a childminder she stays in their life on starting school doing wraparound, so it creates a nice gradual transition away and doesnt just vanish on starting school.

Scaredypup · 17/06/2022 22:34

Yes definitely. I care for them all, but some I have had really special bonds with. The ones I care about the most are the children that are most attached to me so they clearly sense how you feel about them too.

switswoo81 · 17/06/2022 22:36

Honestly...no. I'm an infant teacher so very different to a creche worker. I'm very fond of the children I work with but at the end of the day they go home to their families and I go home to mine.

Neverendingdust · 17/06/2022 22:39

My mum was a dinner lady for 25 years. Every time you walked around town with her you’d here Hello Mrs xx! The number of children she remembered was insane, before she retired she was looking after children whose parents she looked after. Awww

NellesVilla · 17/06/2022 22:44

No.

I was a nanny briefly after uni and have never wanted children anyway but this confirmed it for me.

Could not imagine looking after kids for free now (ie be a parent), and was always so exhausted and desperate to get home (although I was actually fond of the child I looked after).

Otoh, I am more than happy to care for animals for free as I experience sheer joy and bliss being with them. I’ve never felt this with children if I’m being honest.

mac1974 · 17/06/2022 22:46

Yes, I'm a childminder and it can be the toughest job dealing with the kids but I do honestly get attached to them. I love them all in their own way. I am in touch with all of my mindees who have left. I had one leave me quickly due to covid and she didn't return. I still get sad about that although I do still get updates from her mum.

Banoffe · 17/06/2022 23:25

100% you get attached to children you work with. Its the worst thing about working with children when you leave a job or they move on, I genuinely miss them.

You do build up meaningful relationships and you care about them. Your in the wrong job if you don’t.

Original poster
loopshot · 18/06/2022 08:36

Thanks all for your replies.
They have made me a little emotional thinking about the bond my dd and her key worker have.

I will certainly get her key worker a little keepsake gift from dd

OP posts:
Justkeeppedaling · 18/06/2022 08:41

I was a Brownie Leader for 17 years. I remember all my Brownies, though formed more of an attachment to some then others.
They are starting to get married now, and/or have babies - it makes me feel like a grandmother!
We're in a small town so I still see lots of them regularly and I always get a "hello Snowy Owl" 😀

Bonkerz · 18/06/2022 08:45

I've been a childminder for 16 years. The bond we share with the children is never broken. I have mindees who are now 19/20 and still send me a message on Facebook on my birthday. Parents have become extended family also and my kids have grown with the children I care for. We still share messages and photos regularly.

DigitalGoat · 18/06/2022 08:46

Ex childminder and preschool assistant. I always used to cry on the last day of term when we had to say goodbye to the leavers, and when my mindees left. But in general I was glad to get to the end of the working day and for them to go home to their families. And when my only mindee for the day was off sick I would be like 'ahhhh that's such a shame, hope he's back soon' on the phone to the parent whilst simultaneously punching the air and planning my unexpected day out.

Yes I was almost certainly in the wrong job.

Sswhinesthebest · 18/06/2022 08:46

Otoh, I am more than happy to care for animals for free as I experience sheer joy and bliss being with them. I’ve never felt this with children if I’m being honest.

I suspect after a while of hard graft this might fade, but given a cute animal or a cute child, I’d choose the animal.

You do get fond of them but like some gp’s, you are pleased to hand them over at the end of the day,

Furrbabymama1987 · 18/06/2022 09:03

Not really. I worked in the same nursery for over 10 years and I had my favourite kids that I liked more than others, but I never missed them either once they had moved or it I had left that workplace. Having said that, there are a few kids I remember from years ago and I often wonder what they're up to now. They're usually the ones that were in the nursery from being a baby up till the after school club at age 11. The majority of them I've forgotten. I think once I had kids of my own, I stopped becoming too attached to the kids I worked with.

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/06/2022 09:08

I would get fond of my class and proud of them having made loads of progress over a year. You have to move on, though, and start all over again. It's part of the job - if I'd got really unhappy about parting with them every summer I wouldn't have been able to have the 30 year career in teaching that I had.

Blahburst · 18/06/2022 09:09

My own children are almost teenagers and still remember their preschool teachers fondly and have a chat with them if we ever bump into them (a few times a year).

I still remember clear as day and very fondly, older pupils I taught over 20 years ago who made an impact on me, even if I only taught them for a year or two. I can’t imagine they remember me as clearly!

BlackAndPinkNose · 18/06/2022 10:24

I know you asked about nurseries, but I and many of my colleagues shed a tear at the Year 11 leavers assembly this week.

We shall miss them all terribly and are so proud of the young adults that they have become (and worry about the future of some of those who don't have great support at home and are likely to be kicked out soon).

MoonBat · 18/06/2022 10:36

A little bit. I'm very glad to be moving up to year 1 with my current Reception babies!

Cranefliesthinkthecarroofiswater · 18/06/2022 10:54

Definitely. I taught English as a Foreign Language in SE Asia for a few years, about 30 years ago, and still wonder what happened to all the kids I taught. Some were a bit of a handful, but I liked them all and there were a couple I'd have happily adopted. Two boisterous brothers and a very sweet little girl were my favourites, though I never let on. Where are they now?

mac1974 · 18/06/2022 12:08

@DigitalGoat i don’t think anyone who got an unexpected day off work wouldn’t be happy! Doesn’t mean you didn’t care for the kids. I can get like this. I do love them but it’s lovely to have my house back at the end of the day and have time just with my children.
it can be tough. My day was so tough on Thurs as they were all cranky in the heat. I couldn’t move for about half an hour after they were gone!

nokidshere · 18/06/2022 17:06

I've been childminding for over 20 yrs. I definitely get attached to the children, many of whom are/were with me from 6 months - 11yrs. I am friends with the parents, my own boys still socialise with many of the children (now university ages) and lots of them still come round to visit when they are in the area.

I was In a local shop a couple of years back and a lovely young lady served me. She said 'hi nokids, do you remember me', I didn't but it turned out she was one of my mindees when she was 2 and they had moved back to the area.

I went to a local sports shop one afternoon and a young man of about 20 (I didn't know him) said hi then shouted downstairs to the basement 'hey Benjamin, your childminder is here' and I found myself being served by a 21yr old I had looked after for 5 years when he was little.

So the children remember the carers too, it's not just one way.

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