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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Terrified of eviction...

20 replies

KevinTheKoala · 17/06/2022 13:12

I know I'm probably over reacting here but I'm panicking about an upcoming inspection of the property. The flat we rent is very cheap for our area, there are literally no other flats for rent within 10 miles that we could afford (and as I don't drive moving 10 miles away isn't really feasible for my job) if we get evicted we are stuffed there is nothing we can do. We don't have a deposit saved up for another flat even if we could afford another flat even if there was any other flats around. Our flat isn't terrible but I have severe depression and it isn't spotless and with two small children I find it impossible to keep it spotless. I am ashamed to have anyone i. The flat, even family, and the idea that someone is coming to inspect it is making me feel very sick and anxious and giving me daily panic attacks now.

There are holes in two doors where my partner has thrown something or punched it and I am petrified of what they will say about this and I don't know what to do. We all know there is no help out there now, we all hear about how there's no housing and no benefits and people on benefits are dying and can't get access to food banks etc. So I am very scared. I feel like I dont have an escape a d the only way out is to die. But I don't want to leave my children because I don't trust the people who would have them afterwards. (long back story there and some recent revelations have sent me spiralling into an even deeper crisis).

What am I going to do if the landlord decides to evict us.

OP posts:

Thesearmsofmine · 17/06/2022 13:14

Breathe. OP are you and your children safe? Living with a man who punches doors and throws things? There are benefits and help out there so I’m not sure where you got the idea that there aren’t. Tbh I would be looking at contacting women’s aid for advice on getting away from a violent man.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 17/06/2022 13:15

Thesearmsofmine · 17/06/2022 13:14

I was going to say this. There is also a change that the person inspecting would refer to SS if they saw this kind of a damage in a home with young children.

waveyourpompoms · 17/06/2022 13:15

When is the inspection? Can you try and hide/fix the holes before then?

They really won’t care that your home isn’t perfectly clean as long as you’re looking after it ie. you’re not a hoarder and it isn’t a health hazard!

Sirzy · 17/06/2022 13:16

The flat doesn’t need to be spotless. but it sounds like their are much more pressing issues.

are you getting support for your mental health problems? Could a chair like home start help you out.

you have a violent partner which isn’t going to help anything. Nobody should be punching doors or throwing things at them.

Beamur · 17/06/2022 13:17

If you're paying your rent on time they're very unlikely to evict you.
The damage won't look good though. As a short term measure, could you cover it up with a poster? Longer term your partner needs better strategies to deal with his temper and I hope you are ok.
Can a friend, or your partner, put in a few hours decent effort to get the flat neat and tidy?
Focus on what you can do right now rather than what might or might not happen next.

FAQs · 17/06/2022 13:18

As others said it doesn’t have to be spotless especially with young children.

Although you need to fix the damage or it’ll come out of your deposit.

HardRockOwl · 17/06/2022 13:23

I would cover holes with children's drawings if you're able to get away with this. I'd look into having these repaired and show the person inspecting that you're arranging this (if not possible to cover up in short term)

Have a de clutter where you can - can you rope in any family or friends to help you with this? No, the place doesn't have to be spotless at all but clean and fresh and not rammed with rubbish is what you should be aiming for

The far bigger issue is your partner of course

LIZS · 17/06/2022 13:24

Presumably your p is equally aware of the risk to damaging the property, yet cares not. He is willing to risk the roof over your dc head. Have you spoken to Womens Aid, to reassess your options?

Original poster

KevinTheKoala · 17/06/2022 13:26

I've managed to cover one hole but I'm not sure what to cover the other hole with due to it being quite low down. I have been looking for someone to replace the doors so it will be done but not on the next couple of days which is when the inspection will be. We are safe, the last time was a few months ago.

OP posts:

Orangesandlemons77 · 17/06/2022 13:33

Are you OK OP? Is he just violent to doors or to you as well?

JorisBonson · 17/06/2022 13:34

I remember your previous posts about this "man", OP. I'd be more worried about getting away from him. Maybe if you are evicted it will be a blessing in disguise.

Original poster

KevinTheKoala · 17/06/2022 13:39

He's never hit me and I'm not easy to live with at all - it's possible that I'm the abusive one, I was saving up to get away but unfortunatley something came up and that money had to be used for something else so I'm starting again now. But I need a stable place to be in the. Mean time.

OP posts:

Orangesandlemons77 · 17/06/2022 13:41

Well, you know you can always contact somewhere like Woman's Aid if you need to there are shelters and support for people if needed...

witheringrowan · 17/06/2022 13:46

You don't have to let them in for an inspection at times dictated by them. If having an extra week would help you get things a bit straighter, just say that date doesn't work because someone's working from home on calls all day/the kids have covid/literally anything, and could they come the following Wednesday at 3pm instead?

2bazookas · 17/06/2022 13:46

If I was the LL and found holes punched through the doors and filthy house, I'd serve notice.

AllHailKingLouis · 17/06/2022 13:49

Stuff something in the holes (like newspaper) and then poly filler it. Wait until it’s dry and then poly filler again. Keep doing that until the hole is totally filled. Sand it down then paint it.

AllHailKingLouis · 17/06/2022 13:50

2bazookas · 17/06/2022 13:46

If I was the LL and found holes punched through the doors and filthy house, I'd serve notice.

Wow. Sure this will make OP’s anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts much better!

Mally100 · 17/06/2022 13:56

I'm sorry you're going through a time time. I would delay it by a week or until the door is fixed. Also buys some time to sort out the place. Let them know asap so that they can reschedule.

failing40s · 17/06/2022 14:05

I agree with PP - there are bigger issues to sort out, but you sound like you know that and are thinking longer term as well, which is good.

In the short term - I know you said you don't drive, but does your partner have a car? If so gather up all the clutter that makes the place look messy and hide it in the car for now. If not, put away as much as you can in cupboards and sort anything that is still out into neat piles/make it look orderly. Then wipe down all your surfaces/ shelves/windowsills, wipe off any obvious marks on the walls, clean the kitchen and bathroom, hoover and mop the floors. Make the beds, open the curtains etc. This is going to make the place look completely presentable and respectable for an inspection. It just needs to look cared for, not perfect.

LumpyandBumps · 17/06/2022 14:50

I am a landlord. Please try not to worry.

No reasonable person expects a family home to be sparkling all the time, and some clutter is normal. Routine inspections are not really about housekeeping unless it is so bad that health and safety are at risk, or it is likely to cause damage to the property.

The landlord will be concerned by actual damage to the property though. It’s unlikely that what you have described will put you at any risk of eviction, but I agree with other posters that it would be better to rearrange the inspection and get the doors repaired first.

If I saw more than one unexplained hole during a visit to a property where children live I would probably be concerned enough to mention this to Social Services.

I hope all works out ok for you.

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