Thoughts on taking your DC out of school to enjoy the sunshine?

[Dorsetdelight211]

DD is 14, year 9. She's just had a message off her best friend to say she won't be in school today as her mum is taking her and her younger sister to the beach for the day. Que DD saying how cool the mum is and how unfair it is that I never let her miss school for fun stuff. I've got to work and even if I didn't I still wouldn't let her do it.

YABU-its a beautiful day, one day off school won't make a difference
YANBU-school is important and you can't skive off just because the weathers nice.

IRL some people's reaction is OTT... some people clearly are actually like this in person.

I think it's fear? To be honest I was a bit worried myself I guess a fine sounds all very official and its easier to lie than to start explaining to school and writing a letter. School calling you to confirm and so on...I can see how someone would rather lie! Seriously can't you?

It's not something I would take them out of school for, but I have taken them out of school for social stuff occasionally.

I don't get the work ethic argument. We get duvet days at work - which people use often for either nice weather in the summer or to ski in the winter. Just need to call in the morning and as long as not everyone in your department has also asked for the day off and there is no deadlines/urgent work needed then it's given. I see this much the same

Oh yes. Kids who come back a week after a holiday ends, tanned and obviously fresh from holiday (once had a kid who had sunburn and a festival bracelet still on) and then LOUDLY complain that they don't know what the topic you have been working on all week is about.

@IfIhearmumagaintoday I have described my real life experiences as a teacher. Even when the fines came out, some parents were still very much going to go on holiday and told school.

Understand yes, but not necessarily approve. Just risk the fine.

you have never had a day off work?
my mom used to do this but she would pick one child and we'd have a special day (going shopping)

To be fair after what happened with the pandemic and home learning etc I can see why parents would think the odd day doesn't matter.

I think if you want to be able to take your kids wherever you want, whenever you want then you should homeschool them. It’s not fair on the teachers who have to help them catch up just because they felt like having a day at the beach. School is exactly like work, once you are enrolled you have an obligation to turn up on the set days and times.

Having said that, I think it’s important children are allowed time off if they’re genuinely unwell physically or mentally. And sometimes children do just burn out and need a day at home. But a trip to the beach just seems too trivial - save it for the weekend!

I still remember the teacher giving me short shrift because we took our daughter out of school for a week abroad. She was 4 so legally didn't have to be in school anyway, was for a family holiday to celebrate my birthday and as it turns out our last holiday due to the pandemic. We have amazing memories from that holiday, last time as a family of 3 as I was also pregnant.
Back in the day there weren't the same issues in taking kids out of school, my parents did quite regularly with us. When I was in Year 9 our school closed down in the May (forces) so that was me done until September but no harm done. Just wonder why things are so different now.

Don't you, unfortunately many schools undermined themselves and that message during COVID.

That crucial one important day message when many children were just dropped.
I remember going to get our pack from the school left in a tray outside!
It was an empty notebook and one maths worksheet?
That was it.
For about three months.

Agree 100% about covid. Wasn't so imperative they were in school then was it. I really think covid should have changed the way we think about things now and being more flexible.

YABU- it sounds like your jealous of your DD friends mom. Kids are allowed to have mental health days and they are allowed vacation days.

I let my 3 boys skip school to go kayaking every year on the first Monday in June. We've been doing it since my boys go in middle school. It's the end of the school year and they aren't missing anything.

You shouldn’t have to take day off and your dd is a bit unreasonable to say you should take day off but also fair enough coz she’s 14 and we always get it wrong when they’re that age. Also it’s fine for her friends mum to let them have day off.

I think its in-between reasonable and unreasonable. For me personally I struggled immensely at 14 and my Mom doubled down because she thought I was just "acting out". The only few days I look back fondly on were when my dad took me out of school early to see a movie or go to the beach for the weekend. I think bonding with your kids one on one is important to their health and taking them out of school every once in a while will make them have a connection with you that wouldn't be there other wise because you both are being "naughty".

Each day that is taken off school has a knock on effect. E.g. child misses DT lesson where the rest of the class are finishing up a project. Child returns back to school the next day and offers to finish off project during lunch break the next day. The DT technician then has to sort equipment for the child during her lunch break and is delayed preparing equipment for a class after lunch break. The students attending the lesson after break miss out on a few minutes of workshop time as the technician continues to prep the class. Meanwhile the teacher then supervises the child whilst they finish off their project eating there lunch on the move. The teacher had planned to reply to an angry mumsnetter parent who sent an email in the morning but instead is supervising a student in the DT workshop…etc.

This is one example from 1 out of 6 lesson the child missed from school the previous day. The child will still be behind with other 5 subjects/lessons that they missed. When the student returns back to those subjects/lessons the teacher will attempt to help the child catch up during the lesson time with some extra one to one support. This in turn takes away time from a SEND student who begins to fall behind angering another mumsnetter parent…cue new thread on mumsnet to complain about teacher. This is just one example of one child taking a day off. Times that by 10 other parents who had the same idea to take their child to the beach and you get the idea of where this is going.

The view that schools are not doing anything of value in June is wrong. And the attitude of many on this thread demonstrates that school is just viewed as a form of child care to fit around the parents schedule/plans.

It’s a long post but the actions of taking a child out for one day in secondary school has a big impact.

I get that. But it's not true in all cases.

The teacher crisis has meant that my sons school is struggling to recruit enough teachers. I have lost count of the number of times my youngest has said they didn't have their own (insert subject here) teacher and that a teacher from another department filled in and they watched a film.

It was really noticeable during exam time for senior phase as teachers were being pulled from younger classes to ensure seniors were ready for exams.

Sports heats and sports day have dominated the last 2 weeks. Great if you are a sporty kid, but still means time out of normal class time.

They have started their new timetables for next year but still don't have all the teachers in place.

I can't tell you how fed up my youngest is getting at school due to the number of times " we will watch..,... " and often times it's a random film not relating to their subject.

Missing a day really isn't going to impact his education.

Precisely I bet you did ok in life? Your either your intellectual as a person or you are not. Missing one week of the school year isn't going to alter your natural ability.

tigger1001 surely it's even more important that they're there as often as they can be if they're education isn't good quality. That might be the day they actually have proper lessons!

No I wouldn’t do this. Sends bad message to the kids and in any case the 14 year old probably texted their friends so everyone knows now including the teachers.

Kids are only in school until about 3pm, she could have taken them to the park, pool, beach, set up swimming pool in back yard after then. They would have had hours before bed.

In addition there are multiple inset days, school holidays, half terms and weekends to do fun things. It’s not like the kids are always stuck at school.

In any case it’s not my kid so I’m not seriously bothered about her educational outcomes. Just hoping they are not the type to not take education seriously then blame everyone including the school when they don’t meet their potential.

This is it though. You either view the school system to service your individual needs or recognise that school works/functions best on a community/attendance basis. Teachers are under lot of pressure to achieve target grades set for students and other children rely on their peers to be at school so they can get the best deal possible. My earlier post was to emphasise the knock on effects on other students and teachers. Not the impact on the educational development of the child who missed a day of school.

@tigger1001 It’s a shame that you child is experiencing that disruption to their learning but if you use the reasons you explained as a justification to take time off then you inevitably contribute to the attendance chaos (both teachers and students) that is taking place in the school

How and when did we get to this prevalent view that the rules only apply if they suit you? Lots of people are pointing out that attendance is important only to be shouted down by 'but my child is doing well so one day won't hurt'.

That's not the point. That's the same sort of argument used over and over to justify partygate. That they were all working together anyway so what did it matter? Or the rules were silly so who cares?

Just read a comment about Johnson. That he 'has a disdain for any constraint on his own power. If the law enables him, then it is legitimate. If it does not, it can be broken or ignored'.

When I am read Mumsnet I can totally understand how we have this bunch of venal halfwits in government. We've got rampant individualism and entitlement in this country and it sucks.

And all the people who like to bend the rules to suit them spectacularly miss the point that if they can do that, so can everyone else.

So don't whinge of someone burgles your house or nicks your car or your employer decides not to pay you for six months etc etc. They just don't like the rules and it's their right to change them, just like you do.

Classic lack of nuance. There’s a huge difference between things that harm someone else, like stealing wages, and missing a day off school. Absolutely ridiculous. Cannot stand this authoritarian “rule are rules” bollocks.

🙄

There's a big difference between breaking the law and depriving someone of their property or wages, and taking your kids out of school to go to the beach.

Of course you know that, though 😉

I think it's fine if you are equally happy with the teachers taking the day off to take their kids to the beach.

Unbelievable. I have a child in my class who is constant off for no reason. He is behind his peers and often misses prep work so he struggles when he comes back to school. Doubtless his parents would say the same 'oh it's only one day.' It is lazy and gives your child the wrong message.