To not see my step-dad on Father’s Day

[Ncforfathersday]

I live relatively close to my parents so visiting them on Sunday is no issue, and I would usually see my step-dad and gift him something on Father’s Day.

However, yesterday I went to visit with my partner and DS and they kicked me out of their house. I had told my parents that my partner and I were going to try for another baby soon, and they immediately kicked off. To me it wasn’t even a second thought that this would happen, because I genuinely thought they would be happy for us.

I’m a working mum, and due to this I was told that that meant my life is too erratic, that I could barely cope with my son, 2, who has additional needs, that I don’t even know how to parent.

My step dad became verbally aggressive and came up very close and screamed in my face. When I told him to step back and to get away from my face, he told me to get out of his house. I gladly left. My partner had already taken himself and our son to the car because we won’t have him around that.

I am a working mum but I am also a very present mum, I love my son more than anything and he is safe, healthy, happy, thriving and most importantly loved. He attends a nursery, we take him out for activities often throughout the week and he has an amazing relationship with both myself and his dad (my partner).

I am also running a business from home which is going great, and we are in a good position to have another baby and to start trying soon.

This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, where I’ve left their house in tears. They treat me like a child despite the fact I am in my late twenties.

I won’t be going to see them on Fathers Day and instead we are going away for the weekend. But a part of me still feels guilty and I know should we patch things up this is something that I will be made to feel bad about and it will be used to guilt-trip me in the future.

AIBU not to try patch things up and go to visit on Sunday?

In the nicest possible way to quote another MN user "fuck that for a game of soldiers".
I wouldn't darken their door again
I wouldn't feel remotely guilty about Fathers Day.
I would take a serious look at my relationship with them and why I feel guilty about their horrific behaviour?

I caveat this slightly and only if you rely on them for a huge amount of support and they are not coping. It's still a shitty way to behave though.

Yeah fuck that op

@TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams No we don’t rely on them for anything. We are in a lucky position where we are both at home so do not need extra support.

I’m not sure why I feel guilty and completely agree with you. I just wish I didn’t have that guilt nabbing at me.

WTAF OP. Who the hell do they think they are.
I wouldn't be going anywhere near until they contact you and apologise.

Parents like this have a good way at making you feel accountable for their behaviour. You're not and it sounds like you've been very emotionally mature in handling it, especially when it comes to your son.

I wish I had more useful advice, but you're not being unreasonable and I hope you have a lovely weekend away 🌺

You don’t appease bullies. You don’t gloss over appalling threatening behaviour. You don’t prioritise other people’s feelings over your own when they treat you horribly.

Plan something lovely with your partner and DS on Sunday!