The dreaded name change

[namechange106]

Hi all

im getting married in 5 months and I was going to make a start on changing my name with unimportant things like store cards and online retail accounts, but I’m not sure if any problems with arise from this? Everything else will take so long I thought I’d get a head start!

I have a few years left on my passport so was going to leave this in my maiden name, has anyone come across any problems doing this? I know passports are usually used for ID and it won’t match anything else once I change everything else. And Of course I would need to remember to book any holidays in my maiden name.
thanks 😀

My friend took his wife’s surname when they married, because his was Raper 😵

I'm also in the 'I'm not my husband's chattel' brigade...

However-do you need to change store cards!? Can't you just change things as annual statements come through?

Getting married gives you the right to use either your name or your husband's name so it should not be a problem having different ID in different names-just produce your marriage certificate.
You can use whatever legally as long as your intention is not to defraud.

I'm in the middle of changing my name, v slowly, but getting there. So as someone in thick of it I'd suggest waiting until 1. You're married & have the certificate (usually a requirement), and 2. You have a sense of the order of things. For example I'm currently waiting for the gap between pay periods to change my name at work, giving them enough notice, but have to do my bank in that time period too. Once work is done I can change it with HMRC. The tricky one will be my passport as I'm in UK on a visa/permit so will probably leave both of those as long as I can as it's quite complicated trying to change it in my home country from overseas. It's as pain being strung between 2 official identities so I would really leave it til after marriage and then work your way through as methodically & quickly as you can.

Love people chipping in with don't change your name, like that was up for discussion

This place is sooo predictable

Some do. My friend's surname was Titsman. He took his wife's, which was the far less contentious Jones.

I would presume for the same reason they don't change it without getting married. Too fucking lazy.

There isn't any harm in letting her know there are other options, and that she doesn't have to go through all the legal faff in order to be known by her husband's name/ the same name as her husband.

I think people are merely highlighting that it's not necessary or maybe considered it slightly dated to change names. Times move on; once it was considered acceptable to receive a dowry.
Of course OP is free to change names.
Good luck OP and all the best.

I changed mine after I got married. For my driving licence I had to send the original of my marriage certificate and it took a while. Bank accounts and stuff were done within a week. Passport id renewed a year before so not done that yet.

My exH offered to change his surname to mine. I was an only child, my dad had only sisters, and I was the last in the line to have the surname. He asked if I would like to keep my surname and he would change his instead, but actually I loathed it and liked his much better! So much so, that I kept it when we divorced. But I digress.

Anyway OP - I'd wait until you are married and change everything then. Make a list, but just do it bit by bit.

It should be fine I think. I have a couple of cards in married name and pretty much the other stuff in maiden name. It’s fine. Wait til u get married, then get some extra copies of your marriage certificate in case u need to prove u r the same person.

Things like store cards will probably be okay, I changed my name a few years ago and changed various memberships before my deedpoll.

After marriage make sure you have a few copies of the certificate, when my husband was doing his we only had two copies, so we could only change one thing at a time as we didn’t want to risk losing both copies. He has only changed one of his passports because the other one was only about a year old when we got married and we didn’t want to waste £80.

i renewed my passport just before I got married, had to as we were getting abroad and I didn't have enough time left on it.
So been married 3 years this year and my passport still in maiden name, has been a few times where have booked flights in wrong name!!

I'd wait until after. 5 months is a small time to wait.
Just get your list of items ready.

I'm in the process of changing back. Seems more expensive and involved changing it back.

Are we still living in the victoriana era? Why are you changing your name? I've been married twice and never changed my name. It didn't cause ant problems at all. I made sure DS has my surname too. I gave birth to him not my husband.

No. It seems like we are living in the 'feel free to be nasty to anyone online if it makes you feel like you are better than them' era. It's not nice.

Far easier not to bother.....then when you get divorced there's nothing to be done. Give the kids your name too while you're at it. Far less hassle.

Strange how its always the woman who wants to be a unit with one name. Perhaps men aren't as committed if they don't want to change their name?

If you have elderly relatives who still gift cheques you obviously need to cash those before changing your name at the bank, and you can't cash ones in your new name until after. And they don't really like you doing it all in one go either.

If your online accounts have a linked care they sometimes need to be in the same name. In any case you'll need to change the card details when the new one is issued so might as well do name at the same time.

You might have time in your passport, but if you went abroard would you need the new E111/EHIC, probably easier if they're in the same name. Certain countries you have to provide accommodation bookings on entry, so they'd be easier in the passport name.

Work out who can certify a copy of the marriage certificate and ask them in advance. Work out where you can use an A3 colour printer in advance. That'll save you effort after the wedding, especially if a trusted person sorts it while you're on honeymoon.

A friend and her DH changed their name to stepdad’s surname as disliked both their surnames and preferred stepdad’s. So men do change their name in some circumstances

There’s no wrong or right about it. Anyone can change their name to anything they like whether or not they are married. If she changes it, and uses her new name, it is her name.

Sounds like a faff don't do it.

Get hubby to change his name to yours or LTB.

I would wait until actually married and in possession of a marriage certificate. It just makes things easier.

I did change my surname to my DH's.

@SausageAndCash but to change your name you have to actually change it - so marriage or deed poll. To tell a store you're Mrs x when you're not yet is dishonest.

I'm changing mine in October when I get married. I have no loyalty or affiliation to my surname really, it's the surname of a guy my mum was briefly married to but is now divorced from he's not related to me and we're not in touch. I don't want my mums maiden name due to abuse from her side of the family so I'm looking forward to a new one lol. But not starting until after the wedding, what's the rush for things like store cards etc and the important ones ask for marriage certificate anyway

This