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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to drive 5hrs with baby in this heat?

126 replies

Tully42 · 16/06/2022 15:02

Fully prepared to be told IABU but my decision is my decision - so on that score it's final but I just wanted to test where I sat in relation to others.

So journey is from London to Newcastle to visit friends for the weekend for a special event. Plans made ages ago. DH referring to it as a bucket item type event.

I've pulled out because I don't want to do that drive on my own in this heat with a 1yr old. My car is fine but it's not got any real frills to it - I.e no fancy air con. It blows cold air but not exactly air con. If you're hot you put the windows down. If we got stuck in traffic or broke down I can imagine it being a world of pain with the baby.

DH is currently working in Birmingham - so we're in two seperate cars to travel. DH is still going to the special event it's just I won't be there.

Really I wanted to hear whether others wouldn't give that drive in this weather a second thought- = YABU

Or whether most would be with me on this and would also be pulling out too = YANBU

If you have a swanky car with great air con your views don't count (as much! Haha.)

OP posts:
Isonthecase · 16/06/2022 15:50

Are you staying in a hotel you could borrow a travel cot from? Or with friends who could ask around to borrow one?

I also think you'd be mad to spend 5 hours each way in a boiling car with a toddler.

Ponoka7 · 16/06/2022 15:54

It depends on what it was. A major concert/festival then I would go really early morning or later at night as suggested. If it's something that won't be spoilt by you not being there, I wouldn't. I think people are forgetting that you'd have to stop twice. It depends on how well your baby travels. I couldn't have done it with two of mine or my GC. It isn't selfish it's prioritising your baby's comfort.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind1 · 16/06/2022 15:56

You say it blows cold air, so that's fine surely?
Also windows open in the front will cool down the back immediately.
I would do it, but it's entirely up to you, obviously a break down won't be fun but when are they ever?

JuneWind · 16/06/2022 15:57

Even without the weather, the thought of spending 5 hours alone driving a 1 year old sounds like my idea of hell! So add in the temperature and no, I don’t think I’d be up for it.

Crikeyalmighty · 16/06/2022 15:59

I wouldn't do it either OP -

girlmom21 · 16/06/2022 16:00

I'd hire a car for the weekend and pick up DH on your way.

Shinyandnew1 · 16/06/2022 16:04

I wouldn’t fancy driving for 5 hours on my own with a baby no matter what the weather was! Does your DH care you aren’t going, if not-what’s the problem?!

Sunnytwobridges · 16/06/2022 16:05

I'd definitely not go. I couldn't do such a long drive without A/C. I'd be miserable when I arrived at the event.

axolotlfloof · 16/06/2022 16:06

You have already decided, and Tbh, that you don't want to, is enough.
My teenagers would definitely refuse to drive to Newcastle in a hot car, so you are just advocating for your child.

SingingSands · 16/06/2022 16:08

I've done it. My first car didn't have air con and the back windows didn't roll down either. Baby was in a vest if it was really hot, cold air on the blower, my window was down if necessary. I used to drive up to Scotland to see my parents fairly regularly.

I'd go and do the event, surely you want to if it's a "bucket list" type of thing? Life is for living and all that - making memories as a family is a good thing.

DistrictCommissioner · 16/06/2022 16:15

l wouldn’t have thought twice about it but I used to live in hot countries with shitty cars!

can you take the train to Bham and meet up with DH to continue on with him?

Mulhollandmagoo · 16/06/2022 16:16

BruceAndNosh · 16/06/2022 15:12

You get the train to Birmingham and travel with DH

This is what I would do, but I'm with you - I wouldn't drive 5hrs with a young baby in this weather. It wouldn't take 5 hrs either as you'd have to keep stopping.

RampantIvy · 16/06/2022 16:17

girlmom21 · 16/06/2022 16:00

I'd hire a car for the weekend and pick up DH on your way.

There is no way I would want to detour to Birmingham en route to Newcastle. A five hour drive is enough of a slog, and so boring.

I regularly drive to Newcastle and back, albeit only a 4 hour round trip, but the A1 is such a boring road.

Forestgate · 16/06/2022 16:17

If you don't want to go, you don't want to go so in that sense YANBU however I'd make a better cover story next time as this one is a bit lame.

2023wish · 16/06/2022 16:19

i live in newcastle and partner is from bristol. i wouldn’t do that drive with our one year old even with my partner in the car, regardless of weather etc. it’s a long time to be driving with a baby but especially on your own.

Blue2022 · 16/06/2022 16:21

having done a long journey recently with our 4 month old (and not as hot as this!) I would say YANBU. We learnt our lesson. Made 5 stops in our journey but I've never known stress like being stuck in traffic with a baby screaming in their car seat and there being nothing you can do about it. We regretted it.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind1 · 16/06/2022 16:23

I drove from Glasgow to Leeds and back yesterday, admittedly on my own, but it was fine, 5 hours each way, including stops, (obvs longer stops with a baby), but I left at 6.45am, and set off home at 11pm.
It is boring admittedly, I was eating sweets I don't even like for something to do!

BigWoollyJumpers · 16/06/2022 16:26

Well we used to drive to Italy with toddlers in the car pre-air conditioning, and as I child I remember my skin being burnt by vinyl seats, and hanging towels over the windows on the same journey, so I think YABU. However, your decision, if you don't want to go, don't go.

FusionChefGeoff · 16/06/2022 16:27

rowkaza · 16/06/2022 15:34

If it's a very special event I'd hire a small car with fancy air con for the weekend.

We did this in very similar circumstances a few years ago and it was worth every penny. We had 2 smalls, a 5 hour drive and a heatwave. Our car was big and practical but old.

Hiring one for the weekend not only meant we were cool and comfortable but also much less likely to breakdown.

Turned out to be our last weekend away with my Grandad before his Alzheimer's really went downhill and I'm so glad we went.

WhackingPhoenix · 16/06/2022 16:30

I’m sure almost everyone posting here was in a car with just windows for fresh air as children for long journeys, and we all lived to tell the tale!

Knockon · 16/06/2022 16:30

Go very early or after rush hour. I would personally go early… up at 5 leave 545

Etinoxaurus · 16/06/2022 16:30

Afterfire · 16/06/2022 15:05

In a fancy car with good air con it’s probably one of the nicest places to be - but not in your situation. So yanbu.

Exactly. I’m looking forward to seeing dps tomorrow not just because of the 3 hours peace and quiet & air conditioning, oh no.
Can dp come home first to collect you both, assuming his car has a/c?

girlmom21 · 16/06/2022 16:31

@RampantIvy I wouldn't want to do it but I would almost certainly do it if it was a bucket list item DP had been looking forward to doing together.

xogossipgirlxo · 16/06/2022 16:32

With no air con? I may sound like a big brat, but it's a no for me.

ladycarlotta · 16/06/2022 16:32

YANBU. That'll be a horrible journey with a baby.

Can your partner pack the car before he leaves for Birmingham so he'll already have all the baby gear and you could just take a buggy (or sling even better) and the baby on the train? I've travelled plenty with mine on trains, on the whole it's pretty straightforward but I can still totally understand your not wanting to do it.