To say I don't want the dogs here?

[aboutamum]

My daughters Grandmother has 3 jack Russel/chihuahuas. She gifted one to my daughter a year ago but because we were in an upstairs flat I said we couldn't have her there.

However recently we have moved into a house with a garden, I asked if I could have the dog she gifted to us for a few nights for company as was finding myself feeling uneasy the first few nights especially when DD went to stay with her dad.

Since then I've had the eldest, both the young ones, and DD's dog. So we have been rotating them. Every time I drop DD off she asks which dog I would like to take which is always DD's one. I usually have the other little one to keep her sister company, this was fine up until I got brand new carpets fitted. I spent an extortionate amount and I'm over the moon with them. But I feel so anxious whenever the dogs run upstairs, they have sharp claws and always play fight. I no longer want them upstairs, to be honest I only really feel happy when we have the one dog. (DD's) I do find them a bit too much sometimes when they are together.

My stairs are too wide for my stair gate so can't barricade it off :/ I can manage one dog if her claws are cut down but both running about on those luscious soft carpets is literally driving me to becoming Monica from friends.

I might be being harsh but I'm so proud of our new home and really don't want animals running riot upstairs.

Am I being unreasonable to say to her I only want one dog at a time and i would prefer it be the original one which was gifted as I just can't bond with the others.

She's asked if I can have the boy when the girls are in season but he malts so much and doesn't smell great. Again, very sharp claws.

So yeah, am I being totally unreasonable here? Small problem I know but it's my problem and I want some advice.

Thanks!!

The sister also barks at every single sound constantly and it's driving me insane!!

You just say you’re offering a permanent home to your daughters dog only, or “sorry, we’re just not a dog friendly home, we’ll stick to visiting them at your house please”

And buy an extending gate for your stairs if you take her dog. No reason at all for digs to go upstairs, ours don’t.

@Thehop She said we can't keep her anymore because she's bonded with her too much now.

It’s your home so at the end of the day what you say goes. Unless your mil is like my mother who says she’ll only look after my dc if I look after her ddogs… 🙄

so either you have your DDs dog or no dogs. the other two dogs don't need to come to your home surely?

You can get retractable stair gates so maybe not use that as an excuse to her. Just be straight with her. The arrangement no longer works and state what you do want.

I wouldn't want any dogs in me. I don't even like the cat on the upstairs carpets, but that would be unreasonable 😅

I'm a dog lover but we have a strict rule that the dogs don't go in the bedroom (our house is a bungalow). There's nothing wrong with not wanting dogs in parts of your home.

This sounds chaotic and no fun for anyone, including the dogs. The dog or dogs would be much more manageable with a predictable routine with lots of walks to wear them out.

However, a woman who won't let her granddaughter keep the dog she has "gifted" her because she is too "bonded" with it is not going to understand you prioritising your carpets over the dogs at ALL. Don't use the carpets argument with her.

I would say to her that since she has changed her mind about the dog that was for your daughter, you will not be having her dogs at all and will look for a pet with your daughter because you want a pet full time, in your home, that you train.

Tell her you’re glad she’s well looked after and dd will enjoy looking after her odd weekends and visiting her at nanny’s house then. This cycling of borrowing is crazy, you’ll never get any rules instilled in any of them because they’ll be too confused x

Meant to also say that you need to think carefully about whether you owning a dog at all is really what you want or is a good idea.

I think stopping all the dogs coming is fine. I would still help out if grandmother needed a dog sitter occasionally but visiting dogs at grandmothers very reasonable.