I am so down about how fat and unfit I am I feel defeated.

[coodawoodashooda]

So utterly defeated. I am a size 22. Can anyone help me turn this around?

I had a gastric sleeve 11 months ago and am down 85lbs. Extremely drastic, I know.

But I was a size 24 and getting bigger every year. Tried everything under the sun from WW to SW to hypnotherapy to Saxenda over the course of 10 years+

Absolutely changed my life

Chin up. Of course you can.
Baby steps.

1. Get a bit more exercise. Start realistically - can you find time to walk for say 20 minutes a day?
2. Diet. Be honest with yourself. What do you need to change?

Don't start with drastic changes and unrealistic goals. I could do with losing a few pounds myself. The last time I successfully lost weight I had 10lb goals. It makes it less daunting if you have more than a stone to go to break it down.

Not suggesting or recommening surgery off the bat for you, but if you're in the same boat as me (completely unable to do any diet or hold weight off then it's an option, even as a last resort)

Do you do any exercise at all ? Even a short walk.

Hi op, I feel the same way and I totally understand feeling demoralised but we have to start somewhere, bc if we do nothing we will be in the same position next year.

I would start on two focused periods of six weeks. A day at a time.

For the first six weeks cut out one entire meal a day and do the WHO recommended exercise of 30 mins brisk walking a day 5 days a week. Also eliminate all excess sugary & fatty carbs such as crisps. biscuits, cake, ice cream and watch your alcohol level. Maybe allow yourself one treat a week on a Saturday? Make sure you are drinking water and getting enough sleep.

For the second six weeks I would do all the above but focus more on meal planning, eating five a day and maybe eating veggie at least four times a week.

Book yourself a reward (which doesn't involve food) for week six and week 12 to keep yourself motivated. Somethng like a nice haircut or manicure?

I recommend the Second Nature app. You have to pay a little bit a month but you become part of an online group and receive lots of helpful advice. I don't work for them or anything but they are recommended by the NHS!

I am a size 20/22 and although I'm heavy I go to exercise classes 5 or 6 days a week. At least when I'm out the house I'm not eating .

I totally empathise.

I'm 50 and a size 18/20, I've been dieting all my life. Then I stopped dieting trying to just be body positive.

Then both my parents died fairly close together, also many other family crisises and I hit the menopause.
I walk my dog and hour and half everyday but I just keep getting fatter and more tired. It's the first thing I think about when I wake up :(
I have no sex life with my husband as I look and feel horrible and unsexy.
I'm utterly miserable.

I'm actually thinking about some form of surgery. I think life is too short.

Does anyone know how long the wait is for a sleeve at the moment?

im desperately saving but wonder if it’s time to see my GP?

Exercise is the way to go. It might take a bit of time to find the right thing for you; try out lots of different forms until you do.

I walk my dog and hour and half everyday @PatsArrow this is such a great start but really you need to add in something a bit more intensive a couple of times a week. Like the OP, take the time to find something you enjoy (...or hate the least 😂).

I feel you.

I was a size 22, six years ago. I thought nothing could actually help/diets don't work/hate exercise.

Now I'm a size 8/10, run half marathons and weight train at the gym.

If I can do it, anyone can!!

Start small. Mini goals. Take each lb at a time, each day at a time, focus on making the best choice you can at each meal.

I know it seems like a huge and impossible task but you can do it.

If you’re going down the surgery route, do read what life is like afterwards for a realistic assessment of whether it would work for you. Some would struggle with the social aspect of it - needing to eat certain types of foods in small quantities but many others think it’s life changing.

On weight loss, decide what small habits you need to have ingrained and consider them the goal not the weight loss. For example, I need to avoid takeaways more than once a fortnight so need to plan ahead so the fridge freezer is full/alternatives are available or I must drink more water so I’ll sit with a bottle by my desk rather than endless coffees with milk. Diets fall apart if you don’t focus on the WHY and not just the goal. It can take weeks to change a habit.

We could have a thread about little habits even.

Start calorie counting @coodawoodashooda . It’s been a game changer for me. You can eat anything within the allowance. So no fads and room for stuff you enjoy. I just use the free my fitness pal app. (But don’t use their calorie calculator, use the free James Smith Academy one)

Id recommend looking at The Fitness Chef on Facebook and Instagram- he also has books. Really sensible advice for sustainable weight loss. And the Facebook group will offer advice and support, always non judgmental.

And there’s an NHS walking for health app, which could get you started with just ten minutes a day exercise to improve how you feel, without feeling you need to go mad on exercise!

Oh lovie @coodawoodashooda I felt the need to reach out to you and give you a hand hold. You’ve very welcome to come over to our group Lose It! June 2022

We are a group of ladies who choose to eat healthy to improve our health and lose/maintain weight. There are no quick fixes just healthy eating. I personally don’t ban anything but eat in moderation. You need to ask yourself why you want to lose? It’s not just about weight loss, it’s about how you feel, how you want to look, how you want to be perceived and being able to partake in social activities. As your post didn’t contain a lot of information I don’t know how tall you are, how active, if you have any health conditioners, how old you are etc.

Come over and we’ll try to support you ❤️

Following as i’m in exactly the same boat!! I’ve just done the school run this morning and seen all the slim mums in shorts and tshirts and i’m there in leggings and a top with a kimono on as i’m so self conscious. I’m nearly 24 stone, i’ve just had a baby at the start of the year and i really need to change. I think i’m going to try calorie counting and see if that helps me. It is really hard, sending hugs.

Coming at this sideways Op, are you happy with your life in general? I'm the biggest I've ever been, but that's because I'm burned out and miserable. Losing weight seems impossible, because I just can't take that extra burden right now. Instead this year I'm focusing on fixing the other areas of my life, and then I will hopefully have the mental stamina for lifestyle changes.

I understand how you are feeling and agree with pp’s about small steps, exercise and looking at your diet.
Have you considered hypnotherapy? A good hypnotherapist will not only encourage you to exercise and avoid unhealthy foods but also understand why you might overeat and address that.
I hope you are able to take some good from the advice given on this thread and improve your self esteem and health.

It’s so hard isn’t it. Try not to feel defeated. You can do this! You need a new mind set.

Do not calorie count. Try to put all foods into 2 categories - going forward foods or going backwards foods. Stop buying the going backwards foods.

Eat 2-3 meals per day, finish off with fruit/yogurt if you have a sweet craving. Drink tonnes of water. Keep busy, get out go for walks, start light exercise at home, yoga or Pilates maybe?

Having said all that my best friend is a larger lady and she always looks amazing. Sometimes it’s all about confidence and feeling sexy. No one cares about your size other than you.

I think once you realise that diets aren't working for you then weight loss surgery is the way to go. I went abroad coz it's cheaper. With the price of food rising, the surgery pays for itself within 12 months

I'm using saxenda injections for appetite suppressant and they work, the side effects are tough, and they cost a bomb, but they really stop me eating and I'm losing steadily.

Read (or listen to) ‘The Obesity Code’ by Jason Fung. I promise you will feel better about your weight and very likely be inspired to try fasting in some form, which is very effective.

It’s effectively a non-surgical gastric sleeve. And no, it’s not difficult and yes, you can do it. Not perfectly, but well enough. The book is very sciencey but it’s also written by an Actual Doctor and based on high quality evidence, which is more than virtually all other nutritional books or programs. (Also, there’s no money in it. Literally no one profits if you fast) and you can do it on no money, no time and no effort. (Like no other diet ever!)

You might be feeling rubbish and hopeless at the moment, but you've made a decision that your life needs to change, and that is the first step.

I would say, don't drastically change your eating habits or decide you are going to go the gym 5 times a week, as you will never stick to it. Maybe start with a food diary to see where you could make some small changes?

Calorie counting works for me and I use the Nutracheck app, which does cost about £2 a month, but there is a really good, supportive and positive forum, access to loads of advice and information and you can get in contact with nutritionists etc. The fact that you have to pay a small amount makes me more likely to use. it.

The philosophy on the site is that there are no good or bad foods, nothing is off limits as long as you stick to your suggested calorie allowance. You can set easier days if you want to relax a bit on weekends or something, and you soon see that everybody has ups and downs, but as long as you are generally heading in the right direction, it is all good.

What @MagpiePi said

Top advice, and yes, the decision to change is the hard bit

My moment came in January

What was your moment? I've tried a million times. I'm a single mum with young kids. Their friends have started to comment on my weight. I feel so stuck.

Make it competitive for yourself. Increase step count daily - either on your phone or a fitbit, and add x number of steps each time. Drink plenty of water. Start replacing snacks/meals with healthier options. Myfitnesspal will help with this. Set your protein high on this, and be reasonable about the calorie goals you set yourself (and base these on a week's worth of your normal data - so track your food as is for a week on it). The important thing is to concentrate on these fitness goals, not weight loss. The weight loss will follow if you do all this. It's your mindset which needs to lead. This helped me. I'm fitter in my 40s than I've ever been. Am I an athlete? No. Am I a supermodel? No. Am I happier - yes.

It was weird @coodawoodashooda - I’d been idly meaning to do something, half heatedly, but I think it was when a PT said to me, when I said I’d never be thin, “You can be anything you want to be”

Somehow that resonated. I’m 52 but with a teen dc, had let the weight creep on, my knee was sore, I was scared of an unhealthy progression into old age. Dunno! I just started logging calories that day, after feeling scared and ashamed to do so. And it’s been ok! I’m still far from thin, but have lost a good amount of weight, and now this month am really properly feeling good for it.

And it’s also helped my ds to lose a bit without noticing as we now have a “healthy” tea (but still all foods!) most nights, instead of me feeling knackered and giving him a pizza, whilst I didn’t eat a proper tea, but piled in calories with toast/cheese/wine. It’s actually making me a bit emotional as I reflect on it, I’m so glad I made the changes, and if I can, anyone can!