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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really REALLY annoyed with my DH....

20 replies

Orchide · 14/01/2008 20:39

So, tonight after dinner, we were talkign about dd and DH made a silly name out of the nickname she is referred to by people. i asked him not to use that name and explained why - reminds me of a time i dont want to remember.

Anyway...he then turns round and lets rip with a mini tirade about how he hates the nickname i call our dd and i never call her by her 'proper' name except when im feeding her.

Im seriously p*ed off. Its a nickname...surely theres nothing detrimental to devlepoment in calling your child by a nickname (admittedly quite very often)

OP posts:

Twiglett · 14/01/2008 20:41

so you're saying

you hate a nickname he uses and that means he shouldn't use it

but he hates a nickname you use and that means you should keep using it

which are you pissed off about because you can't have it both ways I'm afraid

Original poster

Orchide · 14/01/2008 20:42

nonono...ok maybe i explained it badly.
he doesnt use this nickname.....on this one occassion he strung a nickname and a random surname together.
i almost always use a nickname though it is not a 'proper ' shortened version of dd name which is what i think annoys him most

OP posts:

Wisteria · 14/01/2008 20:46

I don't understand......can you tell us what is awful or what the names are?

I don't see that it's ok for you to hate what he calls her and not for him to feel the same.

Why don't you both just agree to call her by her name or invent a name you both like?

mrsruffallo · 14/01/2008 20:47

It's a bit confusing tbh
You have a lifetime of this ahead.. maybe you should choose something you both like?

paulaplumpbottom · 14/01/2008 20:47

Whats wrong with his nickname?

Original poster

Orchide · 14/01/2008 20:51

it was a one off.

Normally if he uses a nickname it is one which lots of the family use - me incl. which is fine. On this one occasion he used the nickname, a word that rhymes with it and a surname....its the surname i objected to. As i explained to DH, reminds me of childhood and of parents ( both now deceased) and makes me a bit sad.

As i said, i think his problem is the fact that the nickname i frequently use is not a known shortened version of her name.
Ie, if DD was called 'Jessica' and i called her jess, i dont think he would have an issue. But the name i use isslightly more random......and i think he thinks it will confuse DD.

OP posts:

Wisteria · 14/01/2008 20:54

OK - so he said something you didn't like you snapped at him and he bit back at you - sounds like you were just antsy with each other to me. Have ou been bickering anyway?

In your OP you say you are seriously p*ed off though....really? Must be more to it surely as I don't think that's really a scenario to get OTT about.

Wisteria · 14/01/2008 20:55

Sorry, so Yes I think YABU.

dividedselfridgesxmaswindow · 14/01/2008 20:56

Ok so he said something like fanny McGee instead of her name which would be anne and you call her, say, pookie, yes?

mrsruffallo · 14/01/2008 20:56

Wisteria- I was about to say the same..does he feel left out of decisions?
Surely you can find a solution on what to call her- you are the parents and its quite a fundamental subject.

dividedselfridgesxmaswindow · 14/01/2008 20:57

So is he surname of your family, now deceased, truly unutterable in your house? If so, I think that is a tad OTT and maybe you need some support dealing with whatever it is that upsets you so much...

tori32 · 14/01/2008 21:01

I think its an over reaction personally.
When I had dd my dh used to refer to me as 'udders'! Howto make a girl feel attractive!! Really upset me at the time due to hormones, lack of sleep etc. but at least I can laugh now. Although pg again, if he uses it this time it will be grounds for a severe beating! LOL

peanutbear · 14/01/2008 21:01

I call all my children nicknames nothing like their real names

none are confused about their identity

Original poster

Orchide · 14/01/2008 21:06

divided - pookie example works well, yes thats about it.
and no.....not truly untterable, he'd not said it before and i simpy said 'dont call her that, it reminds me of...and explained'. That name isnt a major issue, DH didnt know about it or that bit of the history, so i told him.

wisteria - maybe we were being antsy.

mrsruffallo.....off to find a solution now...

OP posts:

kerryk · 14/01/2008 21:07

my dd2 gets called "baby cakes and peanuts" i promise this is not her real name.

Original poster

Orchide · 14/01/2008 21:09

tori - am rapidly coming to that conclusion .

OP posts:

UniversallyChallenged · 14/01/2008 21:11

not only do mine respond to their proper names/variations and nicknames - they also must have grown up thinking every nursery rhyme had their name in it as i was always changing the words for them!!!

wannaBe · 14/01/2008 21:13

but it was a one-off from him and he didn't know, a fact which I find odd in itself. could it be that he feels you've not been honest with him about everything, given that this fact about your past was unknown to him and that he's hit back re the nickname because of it?

Twiglett · 14/01/2008 21:14

good you've got mn to tell you the truth eh?

hope you work it out and regain some rationality

Wisteria · 15/01/2008 08:24

We all fall out over ridiculously stupid things though don't we......I can have a blazing row over whether 'im indoors has stacked the dishwasher correctly if it's not the optimum time of the month!! I know I'm unreasonable though (poor him!)..

My dd2 gets called 'smell', 'mickey rooney' and various other insulting nicknames , she prefers them to the lovey dovey ones though

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