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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I in the wrong with gardener?

35 replies

Hettythechicken · 15/06/2022 21:04

I’ve employed a gardener for about a year. He comes once a fortnight but for the last four weeks has just not shown up. I assumed he’d found other work and was slightly relieved as he wasn’t great but I wasn’t brave enough to tell him. I then get a message from him two days ago saying he’s sorry for the absence, but he’s been ill and then went on holiday, and he’ll be back this week. I replied ‘no thanks, we’d assumed you’d stopped working here forever and have arranged for someone else to do it’. I have just received a really rude and snotty message saying he’d have appreciated some warning as he’s spent so much of his time and energy working in our garden.
I find confrontation stressful but I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong? Or have I? There was no contract and he’s the one who stopped showing up.

OP posts:
LyndaSnellsSniff · 15/06/2022 21:06

No, you've done nothing wrong. Unless he was at death's door, there's no reason why he couldn't have messaged you to say he was ill.

Hettythechicken · 15/06/2022 21:08

Plus he’s a young guy who is on his phone all the time (when he should be doing my garden) so I can’t see why he couldn’t send a message.

OP posts:
Fimofriend · 15/06/2022 21:08

It is normal to loose your job if you stop showing up

Philisophigal · 15/06/2022 21:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

Thatboymum · 15/06/2022 21:10

I’d send an equally dick head message back and say we would have appreciated some notice in the 4 weeks absence too that you couldn’t make it. Unfortunately you left us in a position of assumption and we have made alternative arrangements. Thanks for all your help and best wishes

Ginandslippers · 15/06/2022 21:10

I don't think you're in the wrong. No reason he couldn't have messaged re the illness or holiday.

Saz12 · 15/06/2022 21:11

Did you message him when he hadn’t shown up at yours? I think you would have if you were happy with his work...?

Sounds like you wanted to replace him, he’s clearly not that devoted to the job, so meh.

FOJN · 15/06/2022 21:13

I have just received a really rude and snotty message saying he’d have appreciated some warning as he’s spent so much of his time and energy working in our garden.

Tell him you would have appreciated some notice about him just not turning up so its a bit rich for him to complain about not being given any warning now.

The time and energy spent working in your garden are irrelevant if he was paid for his work. Gardening does tend to take time and energy so it's surprising he thinks this is a valid point given its what he's employed to do.

RedCarsGoFaster · 15/06/2022 21:15

Nah, this is a direct consequence of his own inaction. And I doubt you're the only person that's sacked him over a month of disappearing.

OrangeBagel · 15/06/2022 21:18

Not a great business strategy on his part - whose to say your new gardener won’t be rubbish. You might have gone back to him if it hadn’t been for the snotty text.

QuidditchThroughtheAges · 15/06/2022 21:19

I think we have the same gardener! I told him I wasn't interested, no contact for 4 weeks then 'I'll be back this week' no thanks!

You were right

Userg1234 · 15/06/2022 21:29

I am a gardener, I've worked in snow, rain, in agony with a back problem due to falling in someone's garden because they left a hose uncoiled. I worked 351 days in 2019......because I needed the work.
I have missed 6 days in 15 years due to illness or the weather being too bad.
he had your number why not tell you what is going on....and what sort of gardener goes on holiday in june????????

ToughLover · 15/06/2022 21:37

Lack of communication. Don’t beat yourself up! He’s not been great at communicating but illness can make us do strange things. Put it down to life experience and rebuild that working relationship if you can

Hettythechicken · 15/06/2022 21:53

@ToughLover I have no interest in building up a working relationship again - apart from my stress at the rude message I’m glad I no longer have to pay him to do not great work!

OP posts:
ToughLover · 15/06/2022 22:14

im sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. Hope you find a better gardener in that case 💐

DimplesToadfoot · 15/06/2022 22:23

I wouldn't reply and just leave it with him now, but

If I were to reply it would probably be 'if you had let me know what was going on we wouldn't being this position now would we'

I hope you've found a better gardener, I've just let my gardener go, I've decided to go back to doing it myself, it's the only way I'm going to be happy lol

SpiderinaWingMirror · 15/06/2022 22:45

There's a whole raft of people who claim to be gardeners but ain't.
Don't get me started on the one who charged my dbil, who is blind, for doing the garden and just walked down the garden and sat there for a couple of hours before collecting his money.

saraclara · 15/06/2022 22:54

I think you must have the gardener that I sacked this spring!

My new one apologises if he's even five minutes late.

DeusInAbsentia · 15/06/2022 23:14

SpiderinaWingMirror · 15/06/2022 22:45

There's a whole raft of people who claim to be gardeners but ain't.
Don't get me started on the one who charged my dbil, who is blind, for doing the garden and just walked down the garden and sat there for a couple of hours before collecting his money.

Indeed.
5 minutes on the local Facebook groups will reveal a dozen blokes who’ve bought themselves petrol strimmers and deem themselves ‘gardeners’ for £25 cash in hand.
most wouldn’t know a prize plant from a weed.

I hope you reported that gardener Spiderina. Some utter twats about.

Tiani4 · 15/06/2022 23:18

Thatboymum · 15/06/2022 21:10

I’d send an equally dick head message back and say we would have appreciated some notice in the 4 weeks absence too that you couldn’t make it. Unfortunately you left us in a position of assumption and we have made alternative arrangements. Thanks for all your help and best wishes

A very polite response that I'd probably send !

Lunarpsychobitch · 16/06/2022 01:29

I wouldn't even waste my time or energy responding to the cheeky fecker.
Even if he was really ill and wasn't able to get in touch himself, or ask a family member to contact his clients when he was ill, he could at least have had the decency to contact you before going on holiday.... freaking waste of space 🤬

sleepingophelia · 16/06/2022 01:34

There was no contract and he’s the one who stopped showing up.

If he was hoping to keep you as an employer, he should have:

  1. informed you he'd be having a break or
  2. let you know he was ill and apologise for going missing and then
  3. not sent you a belligerent reply when you pointed out he did none of the above and now expected to slot back in on his terms!
DifficultBloodyWoman · 16/06/2022 02:18

‘I’d have appreciated some notice of your absence.’

Or, take the high road and ignore.

ZekeZeke · 16/06/2022 03:47

Ignore ignore ignore.
You respond then he will respond and you will be back here with his response looking for suggestions on a response to his.

ignore!

NotAHouse · 16/06/2022 12:18

I'd say "A bit hypocritical, don't you think?"